The Sorority
by Christie Hart
Summary: The Clique is all grown and after 10 years the girls have to face their pasts now in California...with the Briarwood boys? And what happened that caused a feud between them? The slightly scarred characters from the Clique in my spin of the future.
1. Prologue: Closing Time

****Well hello there my lovely readers. If you're coming back here you're realizing that this looks a little different than before. That is because I have edited this story and I am reposting it. For those of you just coming in, this was my first fanfic so it is my baby. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to leave a review. Feedback is always appreciated. (I promised myself I would stop begging for reviews and have some dignity.)**

**P.S This story takes place after Bratfest at Tiffany's. So any plot lines succeeding this book do not apply. **

**Disclaimer: …we all know Lisi Harrison owns these characters. I just got to play with them when they grew up. ****

**Prologue: Closing Time **

"_Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"_

**Massie POV**

"Kuh-laire," I held my freshly French manicured hands at the bridge of my nose, shutting my eyes as if to block out the hideous display before me. So many years and her fashion flaws were impeccable. I didn't think Claire could do it, but somehow she managed to still look like an LBR even in her twenties. Bravo, Claire, bravo.

"Take those pieces of trash off and burn them before I open my eyes."

"What-" Claire started, "What pieces of trash-"

"One," I counted, holding up the correct number of digits, "Two,"

"What the hell is she talking about," Claire's new friend Jamie asked.

"Does anyone want to help," the confusion was plain in Claire's voice. "Four," I said louder.

"Your crocks, Claire," Alicia snorted, "Those ugly pieces of foam you call shoes."

I felt an almost disturbing amount of satisfaction at the clunk of the crocks in the trash. Opening my eyes, I smiled at Claire's raspberry cocktail painted toenails, where were on display for all of JFK to see.

"I so approve of that color by the way. Grab something more suitable out of your carry on and step up the pace Lyons. We have a plane to catch."

I smiled as I spun on my heels and strut towards our terminal. _Gawd… _I thought with a grin large enough to put the Cheshire cat out of business…_I am _so _back._

**Claire POV**

_Oh God, she's back. _

Jamie leaned over in her seat, a lock of her chocolate hair propping on my hand. I couldn't be happier to have my best friend from home moving with me and being so liked by Massie and the gang. As much as I hated to admit it, I still looked for approval from them. I guess old habits die hard.

She had curly, luxurious, chocolate hair which was a few tones darker than her light chocolate skin. Accompanied with her full lips, and the most gorgeous lashes that curled above her black, orb-like eyes, she was a knock out. I didn't think it a stretch to say that she was the most attractive out of all of us. And as if her face wasn't enough, she even gave Alicia competition in the body department.

"So what exactly is the Pretty Committee," Jamie whispered. Her plain and ordinary accent snapped me out of my speculation.

"You don't know what you're apart of?" I laughed.

This one question led into the telling of my friends and our miscreant days. This wasn't the first time I had told her most of our pinnacle moments. She knew about my starting rejection, the trip to Lake Placed, and Dial L for Loser, but when I told her of different adventures she listened with obvious interest. I told Jamie how we had ruled OCD even when we flooded Briarwood and the boys transferred, and eventually ended with our last chapter –the boy fast.

"So what happened after that?" she asked.

"We all just lost touch as we went to college," I shrugged. _You're lying, _my conscience shook its head at me…_you're lying through your teeth! _

Well…Our departure was something that none of us liked to reminisce about. Another painful memory I would refuse to taint my mind with.

"Aren't we a little old for Cliques," Jamie laughed, "I mean, if we're still doing this at 23 years old, imagine what we'll be doing by the age of 50."

I chuckled, the image of Massie with a bejeweled walker flashed through my mind.

"I don't think Clique is even the right word for it anymore," I said, "It's much...stronger. We've been with each other through thick and thin." _Especially thick, _my mind sang, "We're like sisters...it's a sorority now. We're like our own personal sorority."

"Hm," Jamie smiled as she leaned back and put on her rhinestone headphones. Massie would definitely love that, "I like the sound of that,"

I followed suit, pulling out my white, plain, screen-less iPod shuffle. I looked between Jamie's iPod, and my own, snorting at how much they reflected our personalities perfectly. So as the plane took off I made a pact with myself to start over. It was as if I was physically leaving behind every screw up, every mistake, and every painful memory. Only allowing myself to take one last peek out the window I decided I was finally putting my past behind me. The lyrics to Semisonic's 'Closing Time' coaxed my eyes to close. And then they did close, shutting out my life in New York so that when I awakened I would be opening my eyes to my life in Rancho Santa Fe, California.


	2. Chapter 1: Independent Women

**Chapter 1: Independent Women **

"_All the women who are independent…I depend on me"_

_~Destiny's Child_

**Claire POV**

As we stepped off the plane and into the Cali heat, Massie reassumed her role as Alpha. She grabbed her belongings from the conveyer belt, got her passport, and headed towards the sliding door. All of which took a total of ten minutes. Holding a hand in the air, she motioned for us to stop. Like always, we complied. No questions, no objections.

Massie's voice came out in a rushed, whispered tone, "Right foot first as soon as we cross doors, limo's waiting round the corning. Let's greet California with 'Check on It' by Beyoncé. Just like old times."

"Are we singing or something," Jamie asked bewildered. "What do you mean by greet?"

"Aw," Kristen smiled, "Don't you love new people?"

"As in strut to the beat," Massie clarified, "If you can't keep up…never mind –keep up."

She turned abruptly and started towards the door only stopping momentarily while we aligned with her. We crossed the sliding doors each clad in the coordinated pumps, minis, and halter. The reaction, if I may say so, was priceless.

And for the first time in so long, I felt like I owned the world with every click of my heel. I finally saw what it was that Massie saw. The power, the attention –it was delicious. Heads turned, girls glared and a few flight attendant men raised their eyebrows at us _women-_ us _stunning _women. A decade had altered us, emotionally, mentally, and definitely physically.

Massie Block hadn't changed much except for her more matured features. Her brunette hair had a deep red hue to it from so much sun, and she'd grown a few inches taller. She'd gained a few pounds, but not enough to look chubby, just sexily curvy. Plus, her height now evened it out to the right proportions.

I supposed my ultimate change was maturity as well. My once platinum blonde straight hair was now wavy, and my baby fat had converted into pouty lips. I slightly lacked curves, but had a bit to give me a good enough figure. I was still an A cup. But I was a proud A-cup.

This did not mean that my confidence was completely intact when I saw Alicia Rivera with her now D-cup breasts. (That sight had been…memorable.) Besides this change she had gotten caramel highlights in her hair, had questionablypouty lips, and an intimidating straight nose (also questionable.) However, naturally, her body was still a coveted piece of work. It seemed as if she had grown a small amount of inches as well.

Dylan was the most surprising to see. She had lost so much weight that she bordering on _too _skinny, causing her to only have her A-cups (although there is nothing wrong with A-cups. The problem was that I was positive her chests had been larger in our middle school years.) Her hair though was in gorgeous, lustrous, red curls and she had grown around two inches. Though sadly, was still taller than Alicia.

And last but not least, was Kristen. To describe Kristen with an adjective would be devastatingly inaccurate. Therefore I will describe her with a noun. The only noun that could describe Kristen was _legs. _They stretched for miles, telling tales of her athleticism. Kristen was golden hair, nearly b's, and a tan on legs.

Several struts later we reached the long sleek back limo. It would take a while for us to reach our new residence, so in this time we divulged each other's whereabouts over the past decade.

"Fill me in," Massie said, not bothering to hide how anxious she was to hear. Like a true Alpha, Massie knew when to uphold her cool façade, and when to let it melt, "It's been way too long."

Alicia nodded, drawing an imaginary tally, "Point."

"So," she smiled, "Who wants to start?"

Each of us shared, telling of our careers, and our achievements. I told them how I shoot commercials and ads and things. It wasn't anything big yet but it paid for rent and I still got to be on screen. I received encouragement from Massie, which caused some of us to choke on our drinks, and all of us to be silent.

Yes, surprise, Massie Block has encouraged someone.

What happened to my controlling, dominative yet fashion filled leader. Had she gone _soft? _

Dylan filled us in on her show, which she had taken over from her mother. I recall watching an episode she did the other day with Ellen. It was so hilarious Jamie considered taking me to the hospital for my lack of oxygen.

"Who knew celery could be so funny?" Dylan laughed. It was gusty and deep- maybe because her body was so hollow.

We learned that Kristen was a gym trainer, an occupation that was more than predictable for her. What wasn't predicted was Alicia's career choice. After the grades she received, and her constant complaints about school we figured she's stay as far away from the place as she could. However, ten years later, we find Alicia as a kindergarten teacher.

"What," Alicia threw up her hands at our open mouth expressions, "The children are sweet…"

"Stop the car!" Massie shouted. The car stopped abruptly, "Quick, someone call 911. Alicia used the words children and sweet in the same sentence!"

"Oh hush," Alicia slapped her after leaning forward, and apologizing to the driver, "So what do you do then, oh funny one?"

As if her fashion sense had predestined her, Massie had become a Fashion consultant, and editor for Cosmic Girl. We learned that she was the secret author behind the Eh-Meh-Gawd column.

Massie smiled proudly. "So...this is how we turned out?"

"I guess so," I squeezed her hand, more than a little surprised when she returned the gesture.

"We're here!" Jamie exclaimed and practically leaped out the car that was in fact still moving. "Frigness- this is so cool."

"Frigness," Alicia giggled as she repeated it, "I heart that."

"Don't drool," Massie raised an eye at Jamie, her voice sharp. But Jamie dismissed it completely.

"I'll try not to," she smiled, unfazed as she ran inside the mansion.

We toured the house, taking in the concrete fountain in the front, the spiraling stairs, chrome showers, massive bed rooms and finally, the pool.

"What the effing hell is this," Massie said first. "Some flipping maze pool? I'm not paying for-" Massie trailed into a rant, her face beginning to turn a feminine pink. Figures that Massie's flushed face with be attractive as well. If it weren't for the fact that blushes were completely involuntarily (I would know) I would think that she practiced them in the mirror.

The pool was oddly shaped as we stood in front of it. A bar had been placed at a random point in the middle, and curved like a horse shoe at another. Finally as I stood back, I realized how it was shaped.

"Shut up Massie," I laughed, interrupting her endless swearing spree, "Don't you get it? It's PC!"

Massie stared at it a moment longer then started screaming with excitement. That was so un-normal for our normally composed friend. We were all so confounded at her actions that we did the only thing we knew to do. We joined in.

Six martini glasses with our names written on it were positioned, at the bar, which happened to be the hole of the P. Suddenly, Jamie started stripping. Yanking off her shirt and skirt and chucking her heals until she was down to a lacy panty, and a zebra and pink bra hugging at her breasts. Jamie executed a perfect dive and swam to the bar, taking the martini with her name and sipped it seductively.

Her voice was at a man's octave as she spoke,

"Would you sexy ladies like to join me?"

Giggling like little girls, we stripped down to our multicolored undergarments; cannon balling, diving and just jumping in. We splashed and laughed, for once forgetting all the cares that had accumulated over the past years like a giant oppression plume of smoke. We were all together in this moment, and right now that was all that mattered.

Massie moaned embarrassingly loud with contentment as we lay in the Jacuzzi, "I could so get used to this."

"Point," Alicia sighed as well and laid her head against her cool martini glass.

"This is _the _life," Kristen smiled.

"I second that," Dylan smiled.

"Isn't this great? I have all of my best friends back here with me. We can stay up late and everything," I squealed delightedly. Maybe one martini was too many.

"Way to bring up a Kodak moment Claire," Jamie laughed.

We chattered until out of a moment of pure silliness, Kristen splashed her martini on Dylan making her scream. Massie laughed, clearly in a good mood. But I noted her joy was soon broken as she heard a voice from over by her fence,

"Well, well, well," the deep, sexy, voice announced, "I never thought I'd see the day when Massie Block would be in her bra and in a Jacuzzi."

Massie spun around to face a male sexier than the voice he possessed. The gasp she emitted was the perfect sounding of our thoughts. "_Derrick?"_

"Howdy neighbor," he smiled. And that's when Massie blacked out.


	3. Chapter 2: I Do Not Hook Up

**Chapter 2: I Do Not Hook Up**

"_I do not hook up…I fall deep"_

_~Kelly Clarkson_

**Massie POV**

"What the hell are you doing here," I spoke without thinking, slightly slapping myself at my crass comment. _Nice, Massie, don't say something you'll regret. You don't want to hurt him. _

"Fine, next time you black out in a Jacuzzi I'll leave you there; longer time for me to get to stare at your ass anyways." _Ok, you don't want to hurt him…a lot._

"I mean what are you doing here?" I questioned, "In this neighborhood –no, this state."

"This planet," Alicia murmured; Kristen subtly fived her.

"I live here, on this planet, in this state and coincidentally next door."

There was an uncomfortable silence. No. This couldn't be possible. I'm Massie Block. Awkward silences don't exist around me. I don't fall into uncomfortable silences; I _make _them when I want to.

"How's your head feeling," Claire asked nervously. It was just like her to be truly concerned.

"Fine, thanks," I smiled genuinely at her. _See? Nice. Was that so hard to do? You're doing better, Massie, _"But it would feel a whole much better without this obstruction here." I glanced pointedly at Derrick. _I spoke too soon. _

"I thought when you got older you get more mature," Derrick's emotions played perfectly with his words, "That just didn't happen for you did it Mass?"

"I have more maturity in one of my ass cheeks then you could _hope _to obtain in your whole body."

"The fact that you're arguing who's more mature proves a point," Derrick said smugly.

"Says the participant in the arguing," I cheeked.

"Wait," Jamie interrupted. "Is this ass-crack that went out with Massie?"

"Yes I went out with Massie," Derrick said, before correcting the offense, "but I don't know who the ass-crack is."

Jamie smirked disgustedly, eyeing Derrick pointedly, "I think I found him."

I.

Officially.

Love.

Jamie.

"Alright," Claire clapped her hands together, "We can't be so quick to judge ok? Let's just…Let's just forge this, and get reacquainted."

"Hey, Claire, Cam is waiting to see you," Derrick smirked knowingly.

"Yah well my foot is waiting to shove-" Dylan started

Alicia placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

"Hey," I called out, gaining control of the conversation with that one syllable word. I made sure to speak calmly. _See Derrick? Who's mature now? _"You have no place being here. Not after what you guys did to us."

"Man, you guys are so full of it," he let out a short laugh, one devoid of any actual humor. He shuffled a hand through his hair; his sexy, blonde, lustrous hair- _snap out of it Mass_ie, "Look, how's about we all just settle this crap over dinner? We even have a new friend your pal here could hook up with."

"Uh-uh," Jamie shook her head fiercely, "I _so _do not hook up."

"Can we just get this over with?" Derrick asked dismissing Jamie, "We're going to be neighbor. We'll have to be civil to each other anyways. What do you girls say... unless Massie still makes decisions for you?"

We were all deathly silent at this- his words meaning more than he could've known. There was no way he could know how much that troubled us all.

"Woah, I was just joking," Derrick held up his hands, "Mass, I'm sorry."

"Would you girls want to go out to dinner tonight?" I asked them, ignoring the earlier jibe.

"I'm game," Claire said. The others agreed.

"Fine then," I said, "Tonight at 7, you pick the place and you pay."

"Now that's the Massie I know," Derrick nodded, "Manta Lodge, seven, don't be late." he smiled and headed towards the door, "I'll tell the guys. And Massie-"

"What," I snapped. What? The man made me tense.

"Try not to knock yourself out again please? We need you conscious to eat."

Before I could even spout out a comeback he was gone and we were left in silence. That was until Jamie, wonderful Jamie, finally grumbled,

"I sure as hell don't hook up."


	4. Chapter 3: Clumsy

**Chapter 3: Clumsy**

"_You got me tripping, stumbling...so in love with you."_

_~Fergie _

**Massie POV**

I took one look at her outfit, and tried to think of kinder words than the ones that had originally registered. "Hey, Alicia?"

"Yah," she was turned around, bending down to strap her shoes. Her thong strings were very apparent; neon pink, and apparent.

"Maybe you should wear a dress?" I suggested.

Ok, so that was nice. Wasn't it? I was trying. I couldn't afford not to try.

"Looks slutty don't it? I knew it," She sighed and stepped back into my wide closet where the girls were arranging their outfits.

I looked over my own outfit, and not to toot my own horn –ok, I was going to toot my own horn –I looked damn good. I decided to go with a fitted black skirt, accompanied by a satin, white top, and my patent, electric blue, peep toe, pumps.

Seeking for the comfort of familiarity, I called out something I hadn't called out in over ten years. I didn't know why I felt the need to fall back into old routines. However this one would be slightly different.

"Rating," I called.

"Jamie," I screened her outfit. She was wearing a grey, bow dress with wooden hoop earrings, and black, patent, Mary-Jane heels. In her hands was a metallic clutch. The outfit suited her very well, "Gorgeous. But why don't you try on my half, red, woolen coat?"

As Jamie left to search through my closet I inspected Kristen who was dressed in a washed, blue jean skirt with a baby doll, orange shirt, and gob stopper purple earrings. These matched with her casual flip flops, which clashed with the formality of her makeup. "Very cute –but switch the flip flops for those purple, suede pumps I've been eyeing."

Next was Dylan in black dress pants with formal white button up toned down with red beads. Her feet shone in her silver, ballet flats. "Good call with the flats, Dyl, we don't want to look too formal."

Alicia stepped up, sexy in her grey tube dress spiced up with a black bow waist belt and toned down with a white cardigan. However my eyes were drawn to her Stuart Weitzman red, suede bow pumps. "Does everyone own suede pumps? I'm stealing those. Oh, and _vast _improvement," I smiled at her.

Last, but not least was Claire, sultry and sophisticated in her midnight blue cocktail dress with black pull over, and Roberto Cavalli silver heels. "Stunning, especially the graphic heels. I approve girls, majorly. The boys are going to have a heart attack."

The girls stared at me with an inquisitive mirroring on all their made up faces.

"What," I said getting agitated at the amount of times I was receiving this look in one day, "Why are you all effing gawking at me?"

"You didn't give us numbers, like out of 10," Kristen said.

"Point," Alicia tallied, "Why not?"

"Why, do you want numbers?" I raised a brow.

"Hell no," Jamie mumbled.

I chuckled at her expression, "Right then. Can we go?"

"Yah, yah," Dylan said, "Let's head out."

"Besides," I said as we headed towards the door, "We're all tens."

Claire's eyes remained on me as we crossed out the door. Her eyes bore into mine though they were lifeless and dull. Like she'd cried so long that she cried out the color as well. What had happened to change Claire this way?

"You coming Lyons," I managed to say as confidently as I could. It felt as if her eyes were trying to penetrate through every shield I had worked so hard to put up.

"Yah," she mumbled as if lost in thought. "Yah, I'm coming."

**The Sorority**

"The Manta Lodge sounds like a frigging wannabe five star sea food place," Kristen shuddered, "I don't do fish."

"You sure would be kinky if you did," Jamie snorted. Kristen stuck out her tongue.

"Gawd I love you guys," I sighed, exhaling the anxiety pinching at my shoulder. _No, _I corrected myself, _no anxiety. _

"Feelings mutual," Dylan said.

"Is anyone, nervous?" Claire said sucking on the ends of her hair.

"Gross, Kuh-laire," Alicia snapped, "And no, but I do wonder if Josh is hotter now."

"Haha," Dylan snickered, a snort gracing the end of the sound, "get it, Josh is _hot."_

"I don't get it," Jamie stated.

Claire patted her knee, "I'll tell you later."

We pulled up to a sort of cabin-esque scenery. Pine trees, probably faux, had been "planted" and a stony river cascaded down at our feet as we stepped out of the limo.

"Heels and rocks are not effing cool," I grumbled.

"Double point," Alicia said trying to level herself though having to rely on Kristen to keep her up straight.

"Ok," I announced before we entered, "We aren't sluts; we aren't boy obsessed pubescent teenagers anymore. We're mature women who demand respect and look sexy doing it. Understand?"

The answers were of mutual agreement as we gave ourselves the last once over, and proceeded to walk in. Next to me, Claire gulped. I squeezed her hand for assurance, getting a glimpse of those lifeless, dull eyes again. I tried clearing the stare of those orbs from my mind, hoping that anything would come as a distraction. My prayer was answered as I looked at the table of men. Then I did the best thing I could ever do in a situation like this…

I tripped.

**Claire POV**

Why Fergie? Why had you picked such true words? I didn't think I could come across as an idiot on a first impression within the first three seconds of sighting but _bam! _I did.

I saw those one blue and one green eyes, and I swear something in me died.

So.

Damn.

Beautiful.

_But he hurt you..._When I was what, 13? I'm out of college now...

_You were old enough to understand that once a cheater, always a cheater. ..._I was also young enough to believe I had to listen to whatever Massie said.

No Claire, that wasn't nice. She's changed. No point in bubbling over past grievances.

_Grieving. _

Okay inner self, you can shut up now.

The crack in my chest was almost audible as I let my mind peek at one of the most painful areas of my being. I halted my movements, nearly turning around and running from the other eleven people acquainting themselves in front of me. And it hurt so much. So much that I almost began crying. But I didn't. I wouldn't. I'm not.

"_Claire?"_ a deep, resonating voice sounded, "_Claire is that you?_"

"Who the hell else would it be," I heard Jamie mutter. I uttered a silent thanks to God for bestowing me with her. She snapped me back to present.

"Cam," I cleared my throat, "This is Jamie. Jamie, Cam."

"Asshat," Jamie spun away from him. She took her places next to a man I had never met before, and by the looks of him (or rather the looks I was giving him) he was highly attractive. Black spiked hair, bulging biceps, and foreign eyes that were interesting, and bright.

"What did you tell her about me," Cam asked, his tone slightly clipped as we both slid into the table. We were both at the end, him seated directly across from me. We were leaned in already, whether that was from our whispering or unconscious want of proximity, I didn't know.

"Nothing that wasn't true," I snapped back. _Cool it Claire. _

"_We are not dwelling on the past,_" Massie's loud and demanding voice sounded from her seat, "We are all _mature," _she glared at Derrick, "adults here, and shall conduct ourselves as such."

She grabbed her already filled wined glass and raised it poised.

"To new beginnings,"

We all hesitated, not daring to touch our glasses. I knew we all wanted to mull over what happened and how it happened and _definitely _whose fault it is, but Massie wasn't tolerating it.

I sighed and raised my glass reluctantly, "To- whatever she said."

Finally, people raised their glasses. Then as if the clink of our drinking utilities was all we needed, we shifted into a comfortable conversation.

_Look inside yourself…trust the voice within… _

"Who the hell as _Christina Aguilera _as their ring tone," Massie scoffed.

"Piss off, I like her," I defended, scrambling through my purse to reach my cell phone. Even though I knew who was calling, even though I knew she called every night, I still checked the caller ID.

_Mom, _the screen flashed.

"I'm busy right now," I rushed, wanting to disconnect the call as quickly as possible. Every moment we remained in contact with each other had my lungs constricting. And if you've never felt that feeling before, let me be the one to tell you it wasn't pleasant.

"You left," her voice was rough with either alcohol, or harsh emotion, both of which were constants in her life.

"I-I can't talk right now," I stuttered into the phone, "I'm sorry."

"Are you apologizing for leaving, or refusing to talk to me," her voice grew louder, "because I won't accept an apology for either one?"

I positioned my finger over the red symbol, cursing myself as I prepared myself for what I was going to do, "I have to go."

"Claire!" she yelled just as I disconnected the call.

And as soon as I did it, I realized how cruel I'd been.

I just shut the phone, on my depressed mother.

_I'm going to hell_.

"Claire," Massie began softly. I suddenly remembered the surrounding bodies, "You could've taken the call, we wouldn't have minded."

"I know," my raw voice sounded harsh, a slap to Massie. "She just, overreacted. Sorry."

"She sounded pretty upset,"

"Really, it's no big deal," I insisted, "just let it drop."

After a pursuing moment of awkward silence the table reassumed their conversation, seeming slightly uncomfortable now, but eventually growing into each other's presence. I joined the conversation more enthusiastic then probably necessary…anything to get their eyes off of me.

The only thing was that they weren't. The eyes weren't off of me. Sure, Derrick, Massie, Alicia, Kristen, Jamie, Dylan, Kemp, Josh, Chris and the new boy Keegan weren't looking at me. But they didn't matter. It was Cam's eyes that were glued to me. And those blue and green orbs remained that way for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 4: Gravity

**Chapter 4: Gravity**

"_I don't want to fall another moment" _

_~Sara Bareilles _

**Massie POV**

_Those bitches!_ Pairing off and leaving me with of all people! Ugh. Sneaky, conniving hoes is what they all are.

_I mean, _I sighed. It was no use. It seemed as if my new way of reform was going to the dust. But I couldn't let it; the consequence of my harsh words was too great. I had to reign it in.

"You're different," Derrick said in a calm voice.

"Age does that to you," I smiled up at him.

Smiling…_Good_.

Smiling = Being nice

"Although you have grown impeccably more beautiful," he grinned, "That's not what I meant."

Did I just blush? No!

Blushing = Not nice

Blushing = falling into this man's trap. His sexy, big handed trap...

_STOP_ _IT_.

"Thank you, for the compliment," I said.

"It's not like you don't already know it," he snorted.

"I'm not like that anymore," I informed him, "So you can stop trying to test me. It's not going to work. I'm new now."

"I hope you're not too new," he chuckled sneakily, "Or else this wouldn't work at all."

His hand crept up my thigh, rubbing it playfully. I pulled my leg away, but the damage had already been done. Already I felt the thrum at the pit of my stomach. Not, good.

"Believe it, or not, I lost the promiscuity to," I smirked.

"You also know big words now don't you?" he said, "College did something for you."

"Oh Derry," I shook my head, a small smile playing at my lips. I leaned in closer, challenging him with a stare, "Nothing you can say or do will get me to snap. _Nothing._"

"Do I look like a customer to you?"

"Wait what?," I leaned back, now confused, "No?"

"Then why do you think I'm buying any of this crap?" he smirked.

"OH -you're good. But not good enough."I laughed, leaning in a bit closer to let him, this time for him to be tortured at the sight of my chest. I knew he was looking, but he as sure as hell was _never _going to get to touch. "It's too bad you're not buying the new me. Because the new you is looking pretty sexy."

He sat back shaking his head as if to clear it, "Man, Mass, a decade later and you still have me chasing circles."

My hand crept up his knee making him jump, "Let's keep it that way shall we."

The girls entered back in, cackling and conversing with their opposite gender. I calculated each of their expressions and gave an internal groan as I realized the shit eating grins plastered on their faces. The girls had fallen –again. Derrick's movement as he shuffled a hand through his hair caused me to cast a raised eyebrow glance of him. He took a rather large gulp of his ice cold water.

_Is that holding you off until the cold shower you'll have to take when you get home? _I scrawled on a napkin.

**You could join me if you want **his quick scratch read.

I smirked and replied, _you wish, _

He laughed out loud at this one. Thankfully, no one paid attention to our exchange. They were all stuck in their own, hormonal worlds.

**You don't know to what extent that statement is true. **

My eyebrows turned down in confusion at his words.

_To _what _extent is it true? _

**Never mind Mass. It's a good thing I'm an ass crack, or else this whole thing could be difficult. **

_WHAT? WHAT WHOLE THING? _

I never got a reply. And after 3 hours of dining, and conversing I was left, on my way home in the limo with the girls thinking about our conversation. Was this going to end up like our middle school drama? Or would this really be _adult _matters? Was everything here physical like he'd implied about the cold shower? Or could he actually want_ me? _Whatever it was, or it was going to be it told me one thing for sure.

This was going to be one hell of a year.

**Claire POV**

Stupid pairings and coincidental moments of aloneness; I was alone with Cam! It was us two, (again, _alone) _and at the back of the Manta Lodge, sitting on the damp brick wall, bare feet swishing in the cool water. If it were under any other circumstances I might have been happy –heck, I might have even called this romantic. But these weren't under normal circumstances, and the current one had my heart throbbing, not to mention the Mississippi river running down the life lines of my palms.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, his voice laced with concern, "You seemed kind of...I dunno, screwed in there."

"I'm fine," I shrugged, poking a stone with my toe. I could say I was surprised by his question, but I wasn't. But this didn't stop me from diverting the conversation; "You seem to be doing well. You and Derrick's boating business has shot off from the start. Is it any fun?"

"It pays the bills," he laughed.

I joined in, "I said the exact same thing about my job earlier today."

"At least yours sounds a bit more exciting. Traveling is something I've always wanted to do."

"Uprooting yourself isn't fun," I countered, "Sounds like it at the time. All these exotic places- Panama, Trinidad- but then you leave and you're a plant without soil."

He looks at me weirdly, though I dismiss him.

"I never thought of it that way," he said softly.

We were silent for a few moments before he pulled something out his pockets.

"I know it's dumb, but I couldn't help but bring it as a peace offering."

I stared at the sour gummy bears that he placed in my hand. I giggled once again like a little girl standing in a candy shop, and extended my hand, "I remember you used to give me these like, every day. You weren't helping my blood-sugar at all Cam."

"You liked them. You could have refused," he laughed along.

"As if! These are the best things ever," I popped one in my mouth.

Now I have never considered myself a coordinated person. Granted I can walk across a flat surface unscathed, but once multitasking or hand-eye coordination was involved, in three words –I was screwed. And had my coordination kicked in any other time I might have congratulated myself, but of course like the best things in life it took the worst moment to show up. In a moment of pure athleticism, and technique I managed to accurately throw the sour gummy bear into my mouth, choke on it, _and _fall off the wall

Take that Michael Phelps.

Cam was at my side in an instant. "Oh man, Claire, are you alright, can you hear me."

"Yah," I laughed like a maniacal idiot, "I- just, swallowed the wrong way." _And completely made a fool of myself, but it's ok. I know a person on Craigslist willing to find me a good hole to crawl into. _

Without hesitation he lifted me up off the ground.

It was like a shock. Our bodies pressed together, my curves against his- his hands on my lower back, my hands on his chest and my face inches from him.

It was like a shock- I pulled back.

"Sorry," he stuttered out. A pink flush that matched mine creeping across his cheeks, "I was just-"

"I know," I laughed, "We should head inside. Before the gummy bears seek more revenge for my ignoring them for so long. If anything, I deserve it."

He laughed, "Claire, no one so beautiful could deserve any wrong doing."

And like that, I tripped again, though his hand was there to steady me.

_Can't help it, the girl can't help it... _


	6. Chapter 5: Do You Know?

**Chapter 5: Do you know what it feels like?**

"_How can I love you if you just won't talk to me?"_

_~Enrique Iglesias _

**Massie POV**

"_Why the hell are you in my kitchen_?" were the first words to leave my mouth this morning. My unwashed, chapped mouth,

"Claire invited us for breakfast," Derrick smiled, spooning another share of Coco Pops is his mouth. Why was he so cute? '

Ugh, I hoped he'd choke.

"Thank you for telling me Kuh-Laire," I darted my eyes over to her where she 'coincidentally' dropped her spoon and bent down to get it. Cam bent down at the same time as her and their hands brushed together. I could see the instant reaction.

Oh, so her negligence was due to the boy...

"For goodness sakes you two," I glared at them both, "Why don't you just jump each other already- it'll help with the sexual tension. Gawd –its tangible!"

Their faces were bright pink.

"Ugh," I scoffed, "God save the virgins."

I smirked with satisfaction as I saw them turn redder. Serves her right; here I am standing in my boxer shorts, a t-shirt that reads Be Mine with a pathetic bear smiling on it, and hair all eschewed. Yah, that's sexy for you. Not to mention the monkey slippers. Those helped quite a bit.

"Ha, nice slippers Massie," Dylan burped, "Or should I say Monkey."

"Shut up,"

"Running out of come backs Massie?" she grinned.

"UGH," I stomped my way back upstairs to quickly wisp my hair into a pony tail, wash my face, and pull on some black, cotton shorts and a white tank. I only bothered to put on some mascara and lip gloss. I wasn't trying to impress anyone, was I?

"Aw, no monkey slippers eh Nana?" Derrick cooed.

"I don't know who the hell you're talking to but I'm not Nana."

"It's his new name for you Mass," Kristen laughed, "Get it? Monkey's like bananas, so you're called Nana-"

I glared daggers at her. She lowered her gaze to her bowl and mumbled, "I guess you get it."

"I'm going to the court." I announced.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Yes," I snapped, but then remembered that I haven't been following with my promise this morning. But really? Monkey slippers? "Fine…No. Grab a racquet from the rack. I hope you can keep up."

"Since when did you start tennis," Derrick jogged to reach up to my quickening pace.

And the questions start...This is _exactly _why I picked up a sport; to get my anger or annoyed feelings out on a ball instead of in words.

"I started almost a year ago." I said, cringing at the idea of why I picked it up. "It stuck."

We rallied a few points and to my surprise. The blonde actually had game in him. I was no Serena, but I had progressed excellently over the past few months. After all, I needed to know what I was doing if I was going to get the feelings out properly. He gave an ah-dorable grunt as he put his effort into the swing to match my last play. _Forehand, backhand, volley, forehand, forehand, _though somehow we managed to keep up a conversation.

"And you _like _it? I didn't think you the type to actually break a sweat."

I swatted the ball hard in the opposite direction of him and passed it short, making him run.

"Hey Derrick? Tip," I said, "Don't act like you know me. You don't."

He tipped the ball, sending it over into my box.

"I do know you Mass," he received the ball, "I was with you long enough to know."

"Ten years," I grunted, "You don't know a damn what's happened in these ten years."

"Why don't you tell me," he puffed.

"Because," I backfired, "I don't want to."

"How are we supposed be friends if you keep distancing yourself? Don't be afraid, Mass, be mature about this."

I smashed the ball, sending into his stomach making him drop his racquet and sink to the ground.

"You don't know what I've been through, and you didn't give a crap to try and 'be my friend' through that decade; so don't try and tell me I'm immature when I've felt things you can't even image you could feel."

Dropping my racquet I stalked off the court, locking myself in my room and realizing that I had just broken my self-rule.

**The Sorority**

"_Massie, you've changed since our last session- I can see it," Dr. Carter mentioned. _

"_I have a new outlook on life, I guess you could say that," I answered. _

"_Outlook? Care to explain?" _

"_Do you believe in karma Dr. Carter?" I asked. _

"_Karma?" _

"_You know, like payback crap," I articulated. _

"_Though I don't think it's particularly like that, yes I know what karma is, I was just wondering why you brought it up." _

"_If I'm nice to others now, I won't get paid back,"_

"_I don't think I understand..." _

"_Well if I don't do anything bad, there won't be anything to be paid back for..." _

"_Massie, I understand that. But are you saying you deserved what happened to you?" _

"_Yah, I am and I did. I've been horrible to my parents, strangers, helpers, boys...friends, for my whole life. What happened was pay back. Now I have to watch myself." _

"_Massie you didn't deserve it. No one deserves-"_

"_Karma's a bitch Dr. Carter. I don't care what you say. It is." _

Lying on my bed, practically suffocating from the blockage of my nose from crying I think about what will happened to me. I know now that karma doesn't smack you down every single time you deceive it but instead it works much differently. Cruelly and slowly, it waits until things build up and then it reprimands you with a colossal punishment.

Eye's red and swollen, I peered out my window to find that Derrick was still sitting, though not in fetal position, in the middle of the court, head in hands.

Why is _he _looking guilty when I had been the perpetrator?

Straightening my face up by adding foundation and bold eyeliner to hide my red rims, I made my way outside to where Derrick was on the court. A cool breeze danced through the court, tugging at my hair and shirt, and blowing through Derrick's mane.

As a universal sign of friendship or at least politeness, I stuck my hand out waiting for him to grasp it. A few seconds later, his strong hand wound around mine, making it hard for me to believe that it was _me _who was helping _him _up.

Killing myself for letting these words pass my lips, I knew they would at least bring some semblance of happiness to him,

"Derrick?"

"Yah," he said, finally looked up. Something, I don't know if you'd call it hope, sparked in his eyes.

"You can call me Nana- if you want." I grimaced at saying the name.

A full grown smile broke across his face as he engulfed me in a hug. I smiled to myself at how such a silly thing could make him happy. But I knew that I'd let him call me anything, as long as I got to feel his strong arms around me, and see that full blown grin again.

_Oh no, _I thought, _this isn't good. _


	7. Chapter 6: Cable Car

**Chapter 6: Cable Car**

"_Let's rearrange, I wish you were a stranger I could disengage..."_

_~The Fray  
_

**Claire POV**

The rhythmic thudding of my sneakers on the pavement matched the beat of the Fray's "Over my Head" blaring through my head phones. Every pound of my foot gave clarity to at least one of the mundane thoughts rolling around in my head Running helped me think; think about my life, all I'd done wrong, and all that was happening.

I had been running for almost an hour and a half way past my exhaustion point, but I was only just reaching my breaking point. I wasn't really running. I couldn't push myself anymore to do that. I was more doing a combined staggering, and jogging. _Thud, drag-thud, _was the beat of my joggers symphony.

_You need to stop Claire, _

One more lap. I can take one more lap,

_You can't breathe and you're going to try and do three more miles? _

I pass my house and continue running a tad faster just until I couldn't see the house anymore.

Too late now,

_Stop running Claire! _

"Stop running Claire," I heard the musical voice bark. He was running closer, his brown-gold hair in my peripheral. There was no thudding now, only dragging. I couldn't finish, and I wanted to slow down, but I wasn't allowing myself. I had to run.

"Claire," he panted, sprinting to get next to me. He reached out to touch me, and with that tiny pressure I gave out and collapsed on the grass.

"Are you ok," He said kneeling next to me. Green and blue- that was all I focused on. Muscle spasms sent daggers through my body, making me want to curl up, and stretch out all at once.

"What happened, should I call 911-"

"No, just, stay with me," I took shallow breaths, ignoring the pain of the cramps in my calves and focusing on the wondrous fingers of Cam's, kneading into my legs.

"Alright," He crawled up to me, pulled off my shoes and pressed my feet forward. I groaned loudly, the pain more pronounced. It slowly began to fade becoming less sharp.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"It's ok, I'm- I'm better." I sighed. Grabbing his thigh as support to pull myself up, "Thanks."

"Why the hell would you run for so long Claire? You're obviously tired. You shouldn't push yourself like that."

"I can take it," I mumbled flopping back, "Trust me. Of all the things I've been through running in something I can take."

"What do you mean-"

All of a sudden a stream of pure pressured water shot at my face, causing my heart to stop and my lungs to splutter with the sudden intake of liquid. The sprinklers shot right into my face, also hitting Cam dead on. I think it was the surprise that got me laughing, or else I would have been pissed. Not to mention the old lady in pink slippers coming out with her cane. That was disturbing.

"You don't have sex on my land you ruffians! Not again! Not after finding all of your new-age sex devices all used on my chrysanthemums –you can knock boots anywhere else just not on my lawn!"

I stood like a dear in the head lights, unsure of what to do next at the sudden confrontation.

_Do I apologize? _She didn't look too open to that.

_Do I yell back? _She's too elderly, and cute for that.

"GET LOST, YUH HUSSIE," she yelled and slammed her door behind herself.

Ok, minus the cute, and add the disturbing. Very, very, disturbing,

I hadn't even realized that Cam had picked me up and placed me in his car by now. Both in hysterics, we tried to figure out what had just transpired,

"D-did, she seriously just call condoms new-age sex devices?"

"She still calls people hussie's," I laughed, hair plastered to my face in what I was sure was an attractive way.

"That-," Cam said, wiping his eyes, "Was classic."

"Epic," I said, using the edge my shirt to wipe my eyes. Not a good idea,

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," I babbled like an idiot. A string of expletives entered my mind, but never left my mouth. I didn't make it a habit to swear.

"Sit still," Cam commanded, using his thumb to wipe the dripping mascara from underneath my eyes. He'd even wiped it on his own shirt.

Raising his lips to my eye, he began to blow cool air, providing instant relief to the burning sensation in my eye. However the burning sensation was quickly replaced with another sensation. Cam's hands went to my cheek and I knew it was happening. I'd get to kiss him. I'd get to kiss _My Cam. _Just like I'd gotten to kiss him 10 years ago -

Right before he sexed up Olivia.

"We," I started, clearing my throat. My lips were so close to his.

_Shut up Claire. That was 10 years ago. He was an immature, hormonally driven 14 year old. Olivia the skank probably forced him too. As if, _

"Can't. I can't do this Cam. We can't be friends if this is going to happen."

"What if I don't want to be friends? What if I want to be more?"

"You always want more. That's why you banged Olivia! You couldn't wait for me so you took what you could get."

"Olivia was there-"

"I was there- but I also had to be there for my friends, and you couldn't wait for me. So I didn't wait for you and now I've moved on.

"Do you...have you... is there someone else?"

I glared at him harshly, biting hard on my lip so I wouldn't let any tears drop. I wasn't going to cry now. "I guess it's your turn to be jealous now isn't it?" I said with a sad smile. Picking up my iPod, I jumped out the car that had stayed stationary and ran.

**Massie POV **

"Hey, Nana," Derrick cooed, waltzing into the kitchen. I swear on a pair of my Choo's that I'd wipe that smirk off with this frying pan if he wasn't careful.

"Milking it aren't you?" I scrunched my face up. "What do you want?"

"Meow," he hissed, "You girls are going to go to the club with us guys tonight."

"Assuming are we?" I raised an eyebrow, "And you think that we don't have any other plans. Some men down the street have already made some appealing offers."

He pulled at a tuft of his deliciously shaggy hair, a troubled look beginning to form on his face, "Wait…A-are you serious-"

I chuckled at him, "As much as I'd like to be joking, the 70 year old man across the street asked how much I'd charge. I wondered whether to take that as a compliment or..."

Derrick chucked releasing his hair. I sauntered over to him and ran my hand through his hair, letting my fingers scratch over the back of his neck, making him shudder.

"You're so sexy when you're jealous," I smirked.

"I'm not-"

"Save it Harrington," I laughed and walked him to the door, "Tell the boys we're coming."

"You don't want to ask the girls first," he asked. He can't possibly know what he's doing when he says things like that. He doesn't know what happened…no one knew what happened.

"I'm pretty sure they're as in need of partying as the girls are," I answered. "Now go home."

"Fine, fine," he lifted his hands in defense, "I'm going."

"Oh, and Harrington?" I said as he began to leave.

"Yah?" he said.

"Call me Nana in front of anyone else and I'll effing castrate you, understood?"

He smiled and pecked me on the cheek, "Whatever you say Nana."


	8. Chapter 7: Club Can't Handle Me

**Chapter 7: Club Can't Handle Me **

"_I see you watching me, I go all out" _

_~Flo Rida_

**Massie POV**

"I swear if I ever see his stupid face again I'll…I'll _kill _him!_" _

"Wow," I scoffed at Claire as she stormed into the room, "That was really threatening."

"Shut up, Mass, and let me vent," she spluttered. I raised an eye at her, not bothering to comeback. Instead I continued to file my nails. I didn't even know if I really did this to groom myself or whether the grating of the sand papered utensil was just calming. Repetition helped keep my mind numb, and unthinking. Something so trivial as filing my nails did a whole lot of good for my mind.

_Oh…too round. _

"Are you even listening to me?" She took the file from me.

"No," I answered, taking back the file, "There isn't really anything to discuss."

"_What?" _she plopped down in the chair across for me.

"Are you thatobtuse?" I shook my head, "Really. I swear I could cut the sexual tension between you two with a butter knife."

"Lust has nothing to do with love," she argued.

"I didn't say that- I was simply stating the facts that you two share an emotional and physical pull towards each other, and whether you want to face that now or later is your choice. Though I must say," I snickered, "the latter will make you feel quite stupid."

"Since when did you become the Guru," she laughed. Good, her anger-fest passed; now I could tell her.

"Club tonight, you game?"

"Like hell I am," she smiled deviously. The smile was slightly alarming, her plotting and mischief plain on her face. Somehow I knew there was a side to Claire that was safer when contained.

"I'm going to make Cam so jealous he'll piss his pants."

Then again, I've been wrong before.

"Oh Claire," I sighed, releasing a little chuckle at the end "We're really going to have to work on your remarks."

**Derrick's POV**

"Do you have to be so incredibly heartless? I'm flipping cuff-linking my heart on my sleeve here and you're just groping your hair!" Cam raved on the couch next to me. I really wished he'd stop moving so much. He was distraction me.

"Dude," I sighed muting Sponge Bob, something I _rarely _do. "Leave the hair out of this."

"I think she's doing someone else," he said frustrated, completely ignoring my comment.

My eyes snapped to him at that moment, caught off guard by his choice of words, "Hey asshat, if you think Claire is just some random sex then don't even flipping try. She doesn't deserve that."

He scowled at me, "I'm not the prick, remember hypocrite?"

I reached for the remote again. I was not passing up Sponge Bob for this.

He took the remote, "Look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything that I said. Ok, I did. But I don't think of Claire in that way at all D, and you know that. I was just saying the thought of her being with someone else, even if it's just to hold his hand is tearing me up. She's just too damn beautiful- inside and out."

"Dude," I said.

"What?"

"Your vagina's showing," I laughed.

"You see what I mean?" he fumed.

"I'm sorry," I stifled the laugh, shuffling a hand through my hair. He's right; I did 'grope' it constantly. But it was more like a nervous reflex. "You know I don't do well with feelings."

"Maybe I should try talking to Kemp..." he suggested.

"Ugh, no," I sighed, "You've known me your whole life. You should be able to talk to _me. _Ok, so you were talking about her tearing you up? What exactly did she say to you?"

"She said that she moved on."

Sometimes I think that Claire and Cam deserve each other _too _much. They're both so _obtuse. _And it wasn't even like this was a recent development. The two of them had always been this oblivious from the beginning of their existence. I loved the guy, but sometimes I wondered how much common sense lay upstairs.

I rolled my eyes, "That just means she doesn't like you not that there's someone else."

He groaned and planted his face in the pillow.

"Oh, that didn't help did it?" I realized, "That doesn't mean she can't. It's just 'cuz you screwed up in the past. Don't look at me like that, I know I screwed up too I'm just stating facts."

"So what do I do about it?"He whimpered pathetically.

"You get her back! Grovel, suck up, and embrace your inner ball-lessness. Gain her trust and take it from there. Don't rush it though." I instructed.

Wow, I actually sounded like a concerned and wise friend.

"You're totally right," he said brightening slightly, "Whatever it takes."

"If you say so," I grumbled, itching to unmute the TV.

"Hey, thanks D, for you know being here for me. It took time but you pulled through."

"Yah whatever,"

"Come on, that wasn't so bad," he punched at my shoulder. "Admit it. Say something man,"

About to resume my Sponge Bob relaxation, I at least told him _something, _

"Fisher, you are so freaking whipped."

**The Sorority **

**Cam's POV**

The pounding beat of Kanye West's "Stronger" created a pulsing beat in my chest. The congestion was so severe that just getting through the door required a great amount of effort. My body pressed against the ones of voluptuous girls, appreciating the feel, but not focusing on the lingering sensation. My eyes only screened the crowd for one person.

The bar was a few feet away, mostly filled completely. Miraculously, I made my way past the barrier of bodies. A drink would help so much- not to mention I wouldn't look like a freak waiting for the girl who didn't want me.

I turned again, broadcasting the room as much as I could but there were just too many heads. Too many blonde's, brunettes and only a few red heads but none of them were our girls.

Then I saw Massie's head and I knew that my girl was coming. I sucked in a lung full of air, I couldn't agree with Kanye more.

**Massie POV **

We strut in to Flo-Rida's first words that described perfectly what the men in the club did. With each vibration of the amplifier our feet connected to the glass floors. Curvaceous and confident, the room demanded our attention. Except we wouldn't pay it any –it was our night tonight. We did nothing for no one but ourselves.

_You spin my head right round, right round, _

Except we weren't strippers; I sure as hell looked sexier than any stripper. I'll admit I dressed up for Derrington, but only because I wanted to see that same lustful and anxious look in his eyes that he seemed to acquire when I was in sight.

I sported a tight empire waist, black dress that stopped right above my knees. Considering my medium height and the length of the dress my legs looked way shorter than usual, so I pulled out Kristen's purple suede pumps. It was conservative, and classy. It was going to make Derrick lose it.

"Nana," I heard from behind me. Thank goodness, my group had dispersed. Rather quickly I noted... I could only assume that they had left to find their respective others.

My intention had been to leave Derrick drooling, and unkempt in my path, but as I turned around I was gob-stopped by the sight before me. Sex hair, laid back stance, and eyes complimented by the Armani, green shirt he wore. This boy, or rather as I looked at him now, man would be the death of me; the slow, agonizingly, tortuous death.

"Derry," I smirked knowing he'd hate it.

"Please Mass, don't call me that," he groaned.

"And miss the priceless expression that goes on your face? Not a chance."

He pushed a hand through his hair.

"Don't do that," I said seductively, pulling his hand down from his hair and pushing my own Sephora Pink nails through. "I want to be the one to do that."

His hands attached to my waist, "Mass, you don't know how crazy you make me."

I snickered, "Let's go dance. Then I can _really _make you crazy."

That's how I made the worst decision of the night.

**Claire's POV **

"You're really pretty," he smiled his best smile, boldly leaning forward and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I cringed at the feeling of his cold, sticky fingers. Moving back seemed like the best option; perhaps he would get the message. He moved forward to counteract my move. I supposed it was time to verbalize it.

"Thanks, but I'm not interested." I said.

"Come on, relax," he hooked his arm around my waist. I pried him off for about the fourth time, but he put his arm back around me as if it was meant to be there. I looked around, hoping that someone would sense my discomfort.

"I have a boyfriend," I blurted.

"Oh yah?" he smirked, "Where?"

"That's not really your concern is it?" The male voice from behind me boomed.

He wrapped an arm around my waist, replacing the arm of the offender. He pulled me away from the man, only turning to rasp a threat in his face, "Bother her and I'll snap you."

Hands locked together, he pulled me up to the second floor, which also included a bar. It was less packed than the one down stairs, probably because people wanted to be closer to the dance floor. Although it wasn't eventful as a party area, it certainly served as the perfect haven. We were finally able to catch some peace as we took a seat at one of the abandoned tables of the upper level. From our area I could view the entire dance floor. Surprisingly, I was able to catch a few of the gang, dancing and letting loose wild howls of laughter. I wouldn't be surprised if they could see me. My white dress wasn't very inconspicuous amongst the dark clad women of the club.

"You really didn't have to do that," I gushed thanking the stranger. Immediately I am stunned by his attractiveness. He had a pure, intense, and rugged look to him, the effect added by his slant eyes and eye brow piercing. He was hot; bad boy hot. But that was as much as I thought of him.

"Well you're boyfriend wasn't there at the moment, and I needed some action for the night," he shrugged, "I'm Markus with a k."

"I'm Claire, with a C," I giggled and shook hands with him. "And I don't really have a boyfriend."

"Serious? A banging chick like you?" he raised a brow. "I mean, I'm gay, but even I'm not blind..."

I choked considerably on my drink, "You're g-gay?"

"Um, maybe..." he raised a brow, "Is that a problem?"

"Of course not," I said, "I was just surprised. I mean, I didn't expect…" "You expected lips stick, and high heels," he rolled his eyes, "Sorry to disappoint you honey. I only wear those for special occasions."

"I'm so sorry," I shook my head, "I normally don't follow the stereotypes."

He shrugged, "I can't pretend it's the first time I've heard it."

I gave a small laugh, tipping the brim of my glass to my lips and taking a greedy gulp of my sprite.

"You don't drink do you?" Markus asked. I shook my head in reply.

The effects of drinking were too detrimental for me to allow. Being inebriated meant that I was out of control. Control was the only thing I had –control over my actions, over my words. I wasn't going to let a few drinks take that from me. I wasn't about to let alcohol reveal the all the secrets I had worked so hard to withhold.

"Why?"

"I get plastered very easily," I lied, "and my family has a history of alcoholics. I thought I'd break the generation trend."

"Yah, my old man died of it," he said, "that's why I don't drink either."

Like a ton of bricks suddenly being released over my head I felt the pain of his words. I sat my drink down, taking a few seconds to recollect myself. I hoped that he wouldn't catch my actions, and even if he did I would not explain them. However, I was able to genuinely empathize with him, "I'm so sorry." Whether I was muttering these words to him or myself, I had yet to find out.

"Thanks," he nodded before lifting up his hand in a high five motion, "Hey, we can be not drunk together."

At that second, I caught glance of Cam sitting down on a bar stool peering up at me and Markus. I looked away quickly, knowing that he hadn't seen me acknowledging him. Every shred of anger and resentment I'd felt for him made itself known in that moment. I wanted Cam to feel everything I had felt from 10 years ago up to now, and I wanted him to feel it hard. If he wanted to watch, I'd let him watch –just like I had to watch him.

I entwined my fingers in Markus's and leaned forward slowly, whispering quickly, "I need a favor."

"Claire, I told you already, I don't roll _that _way," he said shooting a pointed glance at our fingers.

I threw a quick glance at the surveyor downstairs, hoping that Markus would get my message.

"Oh," he laughed realizing, "I'm game."

I raised my eyebrows at him, wondering how many times he had to do this for other girlfriends. Nevertheless, I proceeded to lean in until my lips grazed his. All of a sudden his mouth enveloped mine and we were entangled, arms, legs and tongues. I let him trail down my neck feverishly until out of the corner of my eye I saw Cam get up, and storm from the bar.

"We're good," I mumbled, pulling back from his mouth. He might be gay, but Markus sure knew how to kiss a girl.

"Who is he, another fan club member?" he asks, wiping my lipstick from his lips.

"Not exactly," I sighed, "It's just…complicated."

"He won't like, beat me up or anything...will he?"

"No, not if I didn't want him too. He's not easily angered. Maybe depressed but not angered. Like me,"

"Well you seemed kind of angry when you spotted him," Markus commented. "Are you sure you did the right thing?"

Had I done the right thing?

Anger made you do some irrational things, and there was no questioning the fact that every time I saw his face I was enflamed with anger. There was something about Cam that made me want to break down into both tears and laughter. The pain he had caused me was more than just disappointment, it was pure unadulterated heartbreak. I wasn't normally a vengeful person, but in that moment I had wanted Cam to suffer everything I had. I wanted him to see that I was fine without out. I wasn't the problem –he was. He was dispensable, forgotten, and replaceable. He was just as he had made me.

But was it the right thing? Had I lowered myself to his lowly standards? What did I gain from all of this? For more than the first time I hated that the rational side of me was beginning to win out. Why couldn't I pay someone back, and just not care. _Cam deserves this, _I convinced myself, _you shouldn't care. _

Does he even care though?

Why did I think that this would eve faze Cam? What if he didn't care? Although it didn't seem that way when he stormed from the bar…where is he now? Why did I care?

And as much as I wanted to pretend I didn't, I couldn't help myself from scanning the club for him, just to make sure he was ok. I found Derrick Massie dancing, I found Dylan drinking, but I couldn't find Cam. After a few more seconds I found him, and it was in that moment that I found my answer in the corner locked in a lip embrace with an all too familiar face.

"Yes," I lifted the corners of my lips, attempting to smile at Markus even as everything inside of me fell to pieces, "I'm definitely sure I did the right thing."

**Massie POV **

_It's not the same_, I tell myself, Massie, _this doesn't even equate to what happened_.

This is dancing. You _own _dancing. Dancing requires touching. How can you be a dancing seductress if you can't handle being touched? I can handle this, I _will _handle this.

Of course then, the song '_Closer' _by Ne-Yo blared through the speakers practically instructing everyone's dance partners to do such.

I glanced around, taking in my surroundings. Kristen was up with Chris dancing, Dylan was laughing at the bar with Kemp, Claire was somewhere, Alicia was making out with Josh and Jamie was sandwiched between some stranger and the new boy Keegan. Everyone _but _me was probably having the time of their lives. How could I do this?

"Ever danced by speakers?" I asked mischievously.

"Why-"

I dragged us to where the deepest vibrations caused my chest to thrum. With the heart of the music pounding behind our backs, I let the intensity of the sound numb my mind and nerves. I listened to the instructions of the song, bobbing my head back and forth as I synced my body to the beat. Derrick's hands lay at my side, gently resting.

_Telling me that she wants to own me…To control me…Come closer_

The weird thing was that with Derrick, I didn't feel controlled. I felt cared for. Even in the way he held me while we danced. The panic that I had been anticipating didn't come with him, and I soon found myself letting go and really dancing with him. I showed him what Massie Block could really do.

_I just can't stop, no, no, I just can't stop. _

I could feel his torso against mine, moving in ways that weren't dirty –just natural. He had gained confidence, holding onto me a little more surely than before, but I didn't mind. Derrick wouldn't hurt me, I was sure of this.

All of a sudden, there was a different body. Different hands, different smile, different _scent. _It wasn't Derrick I was dancing with anymore. This _man, _this _stranger_ –the thumping behind me and him squeezing me, I felt my comfort begin to quickly crumble.

_Thumping…_I was screaming, begging, fighting.

_Squeezing… _he was squeezing me, moving me and squeezing me.

_I just can't stop... _

Stop! Stop! Stop! I thought. I soon realized I was mumbling it, then repeating it out louder. I would scream if I needed to. I wouldn't let this happen again. I wouldn't let him hurt me again, not without a fight.

"Massie," I felt hands at my hands, restraining them. Restraining _me? _I was the victim, why was he protecting the animal?

Derrick's body was in front of mine in an instant. His hand tangled in the unknown man's shirt, raising him a measurable amount off of the floor. Even in the dark I could see the white hot passion of rage coming from him, unbridled, and almost tangible.

"What did you do to her," he barked, his eyes black with fury.

"I didn't do anything-"

"Bullshit, she wouldn't be half screaming if you didn't do-"

"Derrick, stop," I managed to squeak out. I hated being weak. _I'm not weak. _My voice had a new sureness to it as I spoke, "He didn't do anything. I'm sorry."

I clambered off the dance floor pathetically, not even turning to see if anyone else had witnessed what had happened.

I ran out of the club, not knowing where to go, and certainly not caring. Anywhere would suffice in this instant. I knew there was a small girl's bathroom around the corner. It would be nasty, but I would be alone, out of the dark, and relatively safe.

There was no problem with crying. I wasn't weak if I cried, I had learned that. But I didn't like other people seeing me cry. Then _they _would think that I'm weak. I'm not weak.

My shaky hands unfastened the port-a- potty door only to find a couple getting more than intimate. The man glared at me, trying to ward me off with his stare. I'd seen toddlers more intimidating than him.

"What," I barked, glaring back, "You've never seen a girl crying before?"

"We're kind of busy," the honey haired girl snapped.

The anger was building in me; I was shaking again, trying hard not to slap someone, or to say something I'd regret. I reached my hand inside of the bathroom, and grasped the wrist of the frail girl, daring her to retaliate. Not wasting a second, I yanked her out of the stall, pushing her boy-toy out with her.

"Psycho," the girl muttered as they proceeded down the alleyway.

I was a psycho. I had certainly lost my mind if I was crying in a port-a-potty, even if this was an astonishingly clean port-a-potty. I let the scenes play in my head a little. The scene from the club blended with what had happened a year ago, and I found myself struggling to differentiate between the two experiences. I soon found myself trying to find out what had happened tonight, and what had happened _that _night.

"Massie," someone knocked. "I know you're in there. I saw the couple running from the bathroom- only you have the power to kill passion like that."

My only response was to press the heels of my hands to my mouth hoping to stifle the sounds of my sobbing.

"Are you- are you_ crying," _he asked his voice cracking on the last word. "I didn't mean- you don't really kill passion, I was just making a wise crack. I'm an ass; a not funny ass-"

"I know you don't do well with all these feelings and crap Derrick so you can just go back to the club. I won't mind."I interrupted his rambling trying to gain some composure.

After a sudden snap outside, I was soon crammed in the port-a-potty. Seeing Derrick made me lose I it again. The unfamiliar warmth in his face, and the look of concern had me fighting against the tears, not wanting his consolation.

"You can go back," I turned from him. "I don't need you to come in here."

I heard the toilet seat slam down as Derrick sat upon it. He pulled me onto his lap and cradled me. My head against his chest, I was able to pull in the smell of the most delicious scent. It seemed everything about Derrick at the moment was perfect, and comforting. And I hated him for it.

"I don't need your h-help, I'm f-fine," I grumbled, "I'm being an idiot. I mean I'm crying and he didn't even do anything. Plus I'm a psycho like the couples said which is true. Who goes to a port-a-potty to cry, even if it is a surprisingly clean port-a-potty? And now you're here holding me while I ruin your very approved and sexy Armani shirt-,"

His soft lips pressed to the tears that had rolled down my cheeks, effectively quieting me, "Shut the hell up Nana,"


	9. Chapter 8: Are you Alone?

**Chapter 8: Are you Alone? **

"_It's a lonely truth: I've been spending all my time, by myself, without you."_

_~The Starting Line _

**Derrick POV**

"I am a worthless and wasteful excuse of a human being who's spiraling into depression and unable to grasp my way out of the deep, black abyss I've been consumed into."

"Cam, get your ass off the couch and go do something with your life would you?"

"Man- I kissed _Olivia. _Oh-Li-Vee-UH," he said, "Millions of effing girls in this state, I kiss a black haired one, and it's one that screwed my life over. How the hell does thathappen?"

"Because you were an ass and kissed another girl in the first place. Now how the hell did thathappen?"

"Look, so I'm sitting at the bar, minding my own business and scoping out for Claire right? So I look up, and there she is flirting with some punk-ass dude and not even punk-ass in a cool way! Then he was all over her, tongue in her mouth and down her neck and she just…she let him."

"And," I asked turning away from Sponge Bob. Honestly, I don't know why he always had emotional problems while I was in my moment. Sponge was _my time. _

"Don't be a dick again D- it _hurt," _he said flopping back on the sofa.

"She's making you jealous, idiot."

"B-but, why would she do that?"

I loved Cam like a brother. We'd grown up together, talked about everything and trusted each other completely. So why had it taken me this long to figure out that he was so clueless?

"C, honestly, ask another dumb-ass question like that again and I'm thumping you. Understand?"

Cam sighed frustrated. "You know how you don't do feelings? I don't do girls."

I backed away a considerable amount, "Woah- Cam, no homo,"

He punched my shoulder playfully, "You know I didn't mean it like that. Unlike you, I don't own a flipping XX chromosome manuscript."

"Think hard Cam," I sighed, "Why would Claire try to make you jealous?"

"Well she did say something in the car about it being my turn,"

"So... she likes you." I clarified, "She wants you to want her."

"Or she's just getting even," he groaned, "She's. Screwing. Me. Over."

I snorted at the irony of his words, "Funny because you actually want to for that to be happening to you."

"Derrick!"

"Sorry- ok, ok, she wants you, plain and simple- so play into it; make her jealous."

"Why the hell would I do-"

"Oh my effing goodness Cam! You're worse than a freaking 5 year old, just take my advice."

"You know Harrington sometimes you're a real-"

"Don't say something I would," I clucked and pinched his cheek, "You're so cute when you're frustrated." I mused.

He slapped my hand away and left to go to his room. I knew he was pissed off at me, but I was alright with that. I had paid my dues, and listened to his endless whining. I had even given him advice! What more did he want from me? Huh, well, I could at least watch one more Sponge Bob and then head over to check on Nana.

**Massie POV**

I tried to forget about the night before. Just pretend that it _did nawt _happen.

Except that it had.

Derrick had held me, consoled me, reassured me and...kissed me. On the cheek nonetheless, but that made it just as sweet. _Since when have I dated someone sweet?_ Weren't they always hot, fab, and tough? Even though Derrick definitely was all of those, there was a side of him that I'd seen...and liked. There was a side of him that I couldn't help but think I needed.

Despite me being tired and wanting to sleep, I remembered that just because I had moved to a new home did not mean I didn't have a job, and obligations. At times it often seemed unrealistic. It had taken such a short time for me to land this editorial seat that people often wondered if I was sleeping with one of the CEO's. But the truth was that I had put my all in to this job. I'd known since age twelve that I would end up in the fashion industry, so from then on all I had to do was stay true to my word. I spent countless hours educating myself, engaging myself in extra training courses, and I'll admit kissing a few asses. But look where it ended me up? I was doing the job I loved, on my time, and with ridiculous pay. It almost seemed too good to be true.

From:

To: "Editor"

Subject: New Piece for Eh-Meh-G

_EMG! _

_ So who's lipgloss was definitely not popping at the premier of the hawtest club Aphrodite? Hilary Duffs! I think, girlies, we need to learn our new lesson. _

_**Lip gloss Do's and lip gloss Nawts!**_

_1__st__ Hint: If you're lips are shining so much you swear someone can see their reflection then LAY OFF THE REAPPLYING. You don't need to do it every five seconds. People might mistake you for the man next to you who has just finished scarfing down his pork._

_2__nd__ Hint: STAY INSIDE THE LINES. You know all those pictures of dinosaurs you had to color in Kindergarten? Please apply those same skills. Marking above your lips doesn't make them ANY bigger. Using a darker shade of lip liner before glossing over with a similar shade is the most effective way of increasing lippage. _

_3__rd__ Hint: Ah, last but not least. The subject of glitter! You put it on your body, you put it on your face and I don't really want to know where else you put it if you do- but you also put it on your lips. It doesn't matter if you saw Edward Cullen's lips shining, glittery lip glosses right now, are a NAWT. However, shiny glossies are a DO. _

_Key Hint: Remember, looking good doesn't mean you have to get the most expensive brand- pop by your nearest Wal-Mart, waltz into that cosmetic isle proudly, and pick up an L'Oreal smacker._

_Alright readers, take my fashionista wisdom to heart and be on your lipglossing ways. Ttyl xoxo. _

I hit the send button and peered down at my clock. By now it was around 7:00pm, and the house was devastatingly empty. Normally it bothered me being alone in such a large house while the other participants were out tending to their lives. But right now I was tired; beyond tired. I lay back on our black leather couches, in my blue shorts and green spaghetti strap top, noticing how out of accord I was. I wasn't matching.

Trying to fight the sleep that I knew would inevitably come I drew my eyes wide open. Maybe I _should _try to get some sleep though. Claire had this uncanny way of sleep talking or rather shouting. She always said the oddest things, sometimes apologizing, sometimes just dry sobbing unintelligible things. Either way, it always subtracted around two hours of my sleep time since it was hard for me to return to slumber. My sleep side won out, and I finally let my eyes shut.

"Nana, did you know that your eyes cross when you try not to fall asleep," the deep, pestilent voice sounded.

"No they do not!" I argued, though it came out more grumbled.

"Don't worry, it's cute," Derrick smirked and walked around the couch towards me. I sighed heavily, pained at the thought of having to sit up to create room for him.

"Nuh uh," he objected after sitting down. He patted his lap, "I interrupted your sleep."

"I wasn't sleeping I was just-"

"Resting your eyes," he chuckled, raising a brow, "where have I heard that one before? I don't mind really."

"Why are you here?"

He placed a hand at his heart, feigning hurt, "Where is the love Nana?"

"I'm mean, it's not that I don't wantyou here," I said, but then mumbled, "and it'snotlikeIdo_…_But yah, why are you here?"

"I couldn't take Cam's incessant moping about 'him not being good enough' or 'him spiraling into an abyss," he rolled his eyes, but then he averted his gaze, "And I wanted to check on you."

"Really, Derry" I sighed, nestling into his arms. I think I could spend eternity here...Woah Massie back track- _what the eff was that? _

"Yah really," he said brushing back my hair. I took the chance to really stare into his eyes. Sparkling and playful...figures, I think that's alwayshow they are. I snapped my eyes back open after realizing my drifting. I felt his chest rumble as he laughed. The sound was warm, "So adorable."

I started being unable to comprehend most things at that point. I was losing consciousness, and Derrick just felt so nice and...protective. I couldn't get hurt here. Karma couldn't pay me back here. I was safe.

Just as I let go of my last thread of worry, I felt his soft lips press to my forehead.

"Night, Nana," he whispered as he got up.

_Why? Why was he leaving me? _

I wanted to tell him to stay. Tell him to never leave me like that again, but I couldn't. I wasn't weak. I wasn't dependent on him.

So as I heard the front door click, I let my tears drop onto the leather. Anything could happen now. Anyone and _anything _could get me.

I'm vulnerable.

**Claire POV**

The past few days had been agonizingly endless. It seemed that every event of the day was taxing whether it was directly related to me, or my friends. My mind had been fretting over Dylan's constantly being sick all the while replaying the horrid scene I'd witnessed between Cam and that –that…..

How could the same spawn as before be back in my life- back in _his _life and stealing him from me, for the second time? Why was it that she always seemed to find a way to royally screw me over?

_Technically she couldn't have stolen what wasn't in your possession. _

Shut up inner Claire.

The two weeks of our residence here had done nothing to slow my annoyance. Josh, and Alicia have fought, broken up, and reconciled at least ten times; all of which happens in Spanish. Kristen and Chris are lovey dovey and the 'picturesque' couple, holding hands and waltzing down every blasted sidewalk. Dylan and Kemp decided on taking it slow- though acted more as if tomboy friends then as if they were in an actual relationship, and Jamie and Keegan were like frigging rabbits screwing each other endlessly.

So much for 'I do not hookup,'

But here Derrick and Massie were, as if they were the best of friends being kind and trustworthy to each other- something I had never seen them doing. There was definitely a change in Massie, and sometimes I wondered if it had been for the better or the worse. I liked that she seemed to be more in tune with others feelings, but at the same time I wondered if she was exchanging who she really was for whom people expected her to be.

Speaking of Massie, she was currently re-doing her nails that seemed to chip every flipping hour at the rate that she kept on doing them. I didn't understand how the hell she would think to do this when it was 11:00pm.

Alright, so yah, I'm pissed.

"Kuh-laire, you're messing the leather by fisting your hand into it like that. Stop."

I shot her a glare.

"Still haven't gotten laid by Cam yet?"

Ignoring her jibe I let out a groan, "He's with Oh-liv-ee-duh remember?

"That wh- I mean really?" she flustered, "_Why?" _

"I guess he really likes her," I sulked "This is so stupid! A few days ago I was rejecting him, and now I feel like my heart has been ripped out and trampled on while someone laughs maniacally, and an orchestra plays freakish music along with it."

"Ok- why am I friends with you again?"

"Not-helping-Massie," I sighed frustrated.

"Can't you see? He's making you jealous," Massie clarified while also clipping at a stubborn hang nail.

"Why would he do that?"

"The same reason why you kissed that gay dude," she scoffed, "He wants you."

"His name is _Markus, _and so yah, what if he did like me? Why would he be going out with her still? He must actually like her."

"God help the virgins," she threw back her head and sighed. I felt my face heat at those words. It was so true. "If you're going to be so stupid I'll just go back to my mani-pedi."

"No, please help me Massie," I pleaded.

She took in my begging expression and was more pleased than a Cheshire cat lapping at milk. It was good to know that not all of Massie had changed. There was still the part of her that strived to be wanted.

"Continue making him jealous. If it works, he'll be so heated and envious that there will be a moment he'll have to argue whether he should ravish you immediately or wait until you're in private."

"You need to stay away from the romance novels Mass," I chuckled.

"You don't laugh. The novel has seen more action than you have," she barked.

I shut my mouth immediately reddening. It didn't matter for how long I knew her, Massie always managed to embarrass me. There was something in her tone that could right me within seconds. I had learned by now that there wasn't any point in retaliating. She was always the Alpha, and I was always the follower.

"Sorry," she sighed, "I didn't mean it."

Before thinking, the words left my mouth faster than I could stop them, "Oh, so now you've learned to apologize?"

Almost as if the world was dying to contradict my previous thoughts, I witnessed something I never would have expected. Massie's eyes flooded into a pool of hurt, slightly tearing and yet filled with anger. For once in a long time, I was truly scared of Massie Block.

"_Go to hell," _she gritted. I reeled back from her hostile tone, as did she when she realized.

Dropping her nail things she left the room, flying up the stairs and slamming her room door shut.

I sat back on the leather, shutting my eyes, trying to figure out what exactly had just transpired there. Massie was more than confusing me. One moment she was the fearless and fierce Block we all knew, ready to squash any form of anarchy. And then the next instant, she was insecure, lost…broken.

And as if the issue with Massie wasn't enough, the cosmic universe decided to slam another heaping portion of stress on my plate.

I felt a tightening in my heart as I picked up the phone.

"Hello," I barely whispered. Although I didn't know why I would do this –it wasn't as if her reply would be any quieter.

"Come back," she hiccupped into the phone, "I'm sorry. I'll change –just come home."

"I- I can't," I murmured, "I'm sorry."

It didn't matter how many times I said it.

I never meant it.

"Why won't you give me a chance," she yelled. Some poor object fell victim to her rampage, ending up crashing in the background.

"Look," I sighed, "I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Claire-,"

Hanging up had become almost too easy to do.


	10. Chapter 9: Pretender

**Chapter 9: Pretender**

"_What if I say I'm not like the others? __You're the pretender." _

_~Foo Fighters _

**Cam POV**

"Olivia has got to be the most flipping annoying woman ever created," I scrubbed at my teeth with the napkin in my hand, making them immaculate. "I don't know how much of this I can take D."

"Do you purposely decide to strike up a conversation of your love life or rather lack thereof while I'm watching SpongeBob or is this God's way of telling me I need to stop watching TV?"

"Frig Derrick it'll come on again and I'm sure you've seen this episode one million times."

"And?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Would it kill you to take a step off you're freaking pedestal and listen to me once in a while."

"If once in a while means once every week then yes, yes it would. But go ahead I'm listening."

"Ok, so there we are eating breakfast. I'm trying to talk like a civilized person when she goes and grabs my crotch."

"Woah, that's hot," Derrick raises a hand for a five, "Did you take her right there or something?"

"_We were in flipping IHOP," _I said.

"Woah...that's not," Derrick let his hand drop as he fell over in the couch in hysterics.

"She's so... horny, I can't deal with it. Everything with her is about sex."

"So how many times have you done it with her?" Derrick said after catching his breath.

"Zero. I swear, even kissing her makes me feel as if I just going to acquire an STD."

"What is she like a slut?"

"Gah, Derrick, is that even necessary-," I started,

"I'm sorry, is she promiscuous?"

"Very," I sighed, "I've heard of her escapades. There was apparently this one time she did something with a girl a shot glass and a soda pump-"

"Dude, do I really want to know?"

"That's the thing. I mean I like imagining things too, but Olivia just makes everything so _dirty._ When I do it for the first time I don't want it to be a back seat thing, I want to like, _make love _you know?"

Whatever it was that Derrick had been eating, it now had been coughed up onto our coffee table.

"What's your deal man," I slapped him on the back.

"You've never- you still- you're a _virgin?" _

I felt the heat creeping up my cheeks, "Yah. I thought you knew that."

It seemed weird to me that even though I knew Derrick inside and out that there was something I shared with him that made me embarrassed. Of all people, Derrick hardly ever made me blush.

"Oh my goodness, you're blushing," he gawked, "You're not joking."

I threw a pillow at him. "Why the hell would I joke about that?"

"I don't know! I just can't believe it. But 10 years ago, Claire walked in on-"

"But we didn't do it," I stopped him before he finished. I hated remembering that day. It reminded me of what a royal screw up I am.

"Well how far have you gone," Derrick asked.

"D!"

"I'm just curious. I'm not some sicko or anything jeez Fisher, I'm practically your bro for goodness sakes."

I felt my cheeks burn again. I think that Derrick was right about me having a vagina because honestly, blushing? Where was this coming from?

"I've only touched a girl's breast outside of its shirt. That's it."

Derrick remained silent. Of all the snide remarks I expected to fly from his rash and insensitive mouth, I didn't expect his actual reaction.

"Why?" he said. But it was not in a snarky or condescending tone. It was a tone of curiosity, one that I was grateful for.

"If you haven't noticed," I said, "I'm pretty shy."

"No shit Sherlock," he laughed quietly, "Have you gone any farther with Olivia."

"And catch herpes or something?" I said with horror.

Derrick and I laughed at this for a few minutes before he astounded me yet again with another comment.

"You're probably waiting for the right girl," he said. "Don't worry about it man. And definitely don't rush it. You'll regret it." He was about to un mute the TV until I brought up the courage to ask him,

"Derrick?"

He sighed, putting down the remote, he mumbled something about 'later my yellow friend' but still turned to answer me, "Yah man?"

"How old were you when you first did it?"

"16," he said. "With Strawberry."

"No way," I gasped, "From BOCD?"

"Yah, it wasn't her first though." He said. "I've never deflowered a girl."

"...Do you regret it?"

He looked up to me and I swear for the first time in months I had seen some real emotion in his eyes. Not just the 'I'm too cool for this' façade, but actual feeling.

"Every time I touch Massie, I wish that I hadn't touched any other girl except for her." He sighed, "So yes Cam. I regret it. Every day of my life,"

I saw how much Massie meant to him. At first I thought that he looked at her as if she was something he could conquer, but in this moment, the look of sadness, want, hurt, longing, and _regret _was enough to bring me to my final conclusion. I would wait for Claire- even if it meant I was a virgin for the next decade.

**Derrick's POV**

"Oh Tim, you're so funny," I laughed at the TV. It seemed that the night was the only time I could watch nickelodeon in peace, even if I did have to stay up until eleven o'clock to do it. But for once the guys had left the house, and as much as I liked them –there was way too much testosterone up in here. With my feet propped on my leather couch, I tuned out the world around me, and sunk into the world of Home Improvement.

_Knock, knock, bang! _

I leapt up out of the couch, and grabbed the nearest thing to me, ready to face my attacker in my smiley faced boxers. Once at the door, I mentally prepared myself for the worst, envisioning a ripped perpetrator armed with a weapon. I flung open the door, about to swing until I realized it wasn't a big, burly man trying to break in but rather a small and fragile looking Massie.

As soon as she saw me she burst out crying, her tears crashing just as my world was at the moment I saw her.

Pulling her from out of the rain I took her over to our couch.

"I-I'll ruin your l-leather," she bawled.

"You have got to stop being so materialistic Mass," I scolded her.

I lay down my 'weapon' and cradled her while we sat on the couch.

"Nana, you're soaking."

In my defense, I had not intended to start referring to her has Nana. It just kind of _stuck. _Plus, every time I used it, it reminded me of when she was in her adorable pajamas.

Did I just use the word adorable?

I lifted her off me, almost feeling a sick pleasure at her whimper from being away from me. At least that's what I assumed it was from.

I positioned my fingers at the beginning of her soaked top. Her eyes snapped with an emotion that I couldn't identify. Was it _fear? _Did she think I was taking advantage of her?

"Massie- relax," I said, "I would never."

She nodded her head. I pulled off her shirt, pushing out the thought of how sexy she looked in her black bra, and laid it on the table. Then I removed my black sweater and placed it over her head. It was almost as if I were dressing a child. I helped her get her hands through the overly large sleeves.

"I'd give you my boxers but- I have a feeling that would make you quite uncomfortable to have two halves of me naked."

She smiled slightly as she peeled off her own jeans though remained in my sweater that reached at least half way down her thighs. Since when was Massie fun sized?

"Mass, what happened," I asked her. Why wasn't she talking to me?

Almost as if I had insulted her the dam broke again. I could feel myself tense with every tear that dropped, and with every sob she made my heart quivered.

I pulled her back into my arms, letting her cry there. At least it was _me _there for her and not some other guy. I hated the thought that any other male had been able to comfort Massie, or touch Massie in the past 10 years.

"What were you going to do," she laughed through her sobs, "Surprise me with your smiley faces before battering me with your spatula?"

I chuckled, "Have you tasted my cooking? But, Massie please, in all honesty what's wrong?"

"D-Derrick?" she sobbed.

"Yes,"

"Am I a bitch?" she asked, the question catching me off guard, "Tell me the truth."

"Well," I struggled with the battle inside of me. Women were so complicated. They either meant, 'tell me the truth –the one that will make me feel better,' or, 'tell me the truth –the one that's the actual truth.' I couldn't tell which one Massie wanted. I sighed, deciding to go with hardcore honesty, "Not currently."

"But I was a bitch ten years ago wasn't I?" she sniffled. "No one really liked me. Everyone was pretending."

"I'm sure people weren't pretending," I assured her. Well a _minority _weren't pretending, "I mean, obviously the girls wouldn't opt to live with you if they didn't like you."

She shook her head, "But all they seem to remember is how bitchy I was. Why can't people see that I've changed? Even you didn't believe me."

"That's because in general I'm an ass," I admitted to her, "But it's hard to change your perception of someone if all you know is the way they acted before. You have to give us a chance Mass- to know the new you."

"Were you pretending?" She asked, biting her lips. Her pink, delicious, small and round lips...

"I can never pretend when I'm around you Massie," the words slipped before I could filter them.

In my defense, it was all her. I mean, maybe I should have done something to stop her, but really- I can't award myself with that kind of control.

In seconds, her soft lips were against mine. At first I was startled and didn't respond, but that only consumed about a millisecond of the time. Immediately my hands were at her waist, innocently just feeling her.

She climbed on top of me, straddling me with her bare legs, resting on my thighs. As she moaned I could feel myself react to her. Her tongue was inside my mouth in moments licking across the top of my mouth almost making me become undone at that moment.

I let my hands travel to her thighs, brushing against the warm skin there. To explore my mouth further, she climbed fully onto my lap, the core of her being resting against mine.

"Derry," she whispered.

My mouth found its way to her neck, licking and sucking as I trailed kisses down. I let out a sharp breath enjoying the feel of her on top of me, tilting my head so she could gain access to my neck column.

She was demanding, and rough, doing what she wanted to me –not asking for one thing. Trust me, I had no objections.

I don't really understand what happened. One second we were in the moment and the next she had moved me on top of her, _in _the moment. There were sighs of pleasure, and things were murmured unintelligibly. Then out of nowhere it was as if she was almost choking. The air had escaped from her body in an audible breath, and for a moment it seemed as if she was having a seizure.

"Massie," I picked her up, "Massie!"

"I have to get out of here," a broken sob escaped her lips. I could feel my heart plummet, "I'm so sorry Derrick. For me, this one time, you be one of the pretenders. Pretend like this didn't happen. I'm not ready for this."

She ran from the house.

I wish it was a burglar who had entered my house. At least they would have stolen something materialistic, unimportant or something I could get over. But instead it was Massie and she stole something I was hopeless without.


	11. Chapter 10: It's My Life

**Chapter 10: It's My Life **

"_It's now or never. I'm not going to live forever." _

_~Bon Jovi_

**Dylan POV **

"Dude," Kemp called from outside of the bathroom, "Are you sick _again?_"

I spit in the toilet, brushing back a lock of lackluster, red hair that had escaped its clip. The piece was disgusting, just like the rest of me. I dared myself to look in the mirror, but coward seconds later. I didn't know if I wanted to face the disappointment of seeing myself.

"I can't hold anything down," I told him, "But I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Maybe we should check a doctor or something?" he sounded so confused. He's such a boy.

"I'm fine," I called.

"Do you still want to see that action flick later?"

"I don't think I'm up to it," I lied. "Grab Keegan or something."

"Won't be the same," he sighed and trailed away from the door.

I plunged two fingers down my throat, causing me to heave. My recent meal cascaded out into the toilet, the smell alone causing me to continue to puke.

_ Why does he still think of me like his boy friend? _I knew that Kemp and I were dating (kind of) and all, but that's all it was. Ha, dating. This wasn't any different than us just being friends. He still thought of me as one of the guys, albeit a more fragile one, but still. _He feels no physical connection... _Maybe that's why we haven't kissed before. I've asked him before and all he did was grunt like a freaking caveman.

I glanced at myself in the mirror, instantly despising how I looked. Why would he feel physically attracted to this? My nose was too hawkish, my eyes were bulging, my lips were thinner than half the thickness of a piece of paper, and overall I was just atrocious.

_Gawd, when did I put on so much weight? _

_Were my cheeks always this big? _

_Oh my freaking goodness, how are my pants still fitting me? _

_Should I really have eaten those fries? _

I didn't matter now. It was all gone and down the toilet. In a few weeks I'd be dropping dress sizes, and Kemp would be drooling at my size Zero figure. I had to remind myself that all of this was going towards the final goal.

I will be skinny.

I will be beautiful.

I will be perfect.

I'd have to be more conspicuous about going to the bathroom though. Massie and the girls just wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand that I had to do this. I have to make Kemp want me. I have to make myself beautiful. It wasn't as if I wasn't eating anything right? At least I was getting some food! It could be worse. I could be anorexic.

"Dylan," Claire called from outside the bathroom, "Are you alright hon? Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I think I got back that stomach bug. It must not have left my system. I just need to get it out, I'll be fine."

"Can I come in?"

"N-no," I said hurriedly, "You'll just catch whatever I have. We can't have two sickly people in the house."

"Dylan, you're really starting to worry me," she said, "This has been going on for weeks now... maybe you should see a doctor-"

"I'm fine Claire," I said sharply. I didn't need her nosing into this. I was flattered by her concern, but it wasn't helping things.

As she left, I stuck two fingers in just to make sure it was all out. Digits touched to the back of my throat, eliciting the most vicious wretch I had done yet. The ugly spilled out, leaving me in violent heaves. Tears slipped down my cheeks as my throat burned.

If Kemp would like me, then this was all worth it

**Jamie POV**

We'd just come down from our climaxes when I decided to tell him. As much as I loved these sex-capades that had been happening, I wanted Keegan to know that I felt it on more than just a physical level. Just being his booty lady wouldn't cut if for me anymore. Not cool.

If I were to be completely honest with myself I'd admit that ever since I was a little girl I had dreamed of finding the one guy who wouldn't like me for my knockers, or my backside, just me. I wanted someone looked me in the eyes and saw that I was more than what I put out. I wanted to be treated like a lady, and I thought that I saw some of that in Keegan. Granted he couldn't keep his hands of me, but I couldn't blame him. I just wanted us to stop doing this constant hit and miss thing, and start something…I don't know, real?

"I wish we could do something more..." I led suggestively.

"I didn't know you were ready so fast," he smirked.

Mistaking what I was saying, his hand began to crawl back under the covers. I liked this playfulness. Heck, I loved seduction as much as the next girl. What I didn't like was being shut down when I was trying to achieve a decent conversation.

I tried to ignore the humming that was building in my head as well as the rest of my body.

"We need to talk," I argued. "I don't want us only to be physical," I rushed out because I was sure I wouldn't be able to form coherent sentences soon.

"But this is so much fun," he said, "Don't make this more difficult than it has to be-,"

"I'm not making this any harder-," I cut in.

"_Harder?_" He smiled mischievously, "Well if you say so."

"Now you're just taking everything I say out of context -Keegan...stop, we have to talk-,"

_Well, _I thought, _we can always talk later. _


	12. Chapter 11: Take It Slow

**Chapter 11: Take it Slow **

"_We're just ordinary people…We don't know which way to go…We're just ordinary people…_

_Maybe we should take it slow." _

_~John Legend _

**Claire POV**

I stared into the foam of my cappuccino, forming wisps and peaks in its airy mass. Markus sat across me, firing off something that had happened earlier this week with a dog and a paperclip. It seemed as if my mind was on everything except what was happening to me now. Well, maybe not everything, just everything related to Cam.

_Stop thinking about him, _

What was going on with me? Why couldn't I pay attention? Was I so wrapped up in Cam that I could no longer formulate cohesive thought?

I felt pathetic.

How exactly did I feel about him anyways? I knew that every time he entered the room the air seemed to disappear as if it were vacuumed out. My face would heat, my fingers would sweat, and my skin would get this weird tingling feeling across the surface. It didn't help that I smiled like a right fool for most of the time we were in each other's presence.

A balled up napkin meeting my forehead called my attention, "What the hell is wrong with you? I'm talking about a lady that hemorrhaged yesterday, and you're smiling?"

My face drained immediately, "I-uh-it-well-,"

"I'm joking," Marcus, "but since you believed that I know for sure you were not listening."

"I'm sorry," I shook my head, "Things have been complicated lately."

"Look Claire, if you want there to be change, you need to stop trying to rush this," he wrapped his lips around the thin, cylindrical tube of his drink and pulled up some of the lemonade through it.

For the past week or so Marcus and I had been in a faux-relationship. I had been skeptical at first, but he insisted that it was the greatest way to pay Cam back.

Okay, so it's petty.

But as odd as it sounded, somewhere deep inside I knew this was meant to happen. Olivia was not meant for Cam, and I needed to show him that.

How do you tell someone there girlfriend's a bitch?

Maybe he knew, and maybe even liked it. Maybe they had a deep emotional relationship in which they loved each other, and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Maybe, Olivia was secretly nice, and not a man eating snake.

_Ha, that's a good one. _

Whatever it was that was going on between them needed to stop. I had been through losing Cam the first time, and I never wanted to feel that again. The worst part was that I hated the fact that I wanted him. I wanted Cam, but I didn't _want _to want him.

"We're going too fast at this," he rolled his eyes, "Sure he's seen us kiss –but people kiss all the time. This could be a fling for all he knows."

"So what do we do," I groan, "No offence, but I don't like the way your chap-stick tastes."

"Why!" Marcus's eyes widened, "It's mocha flavored!"

"Regardless," I got him back on topic, "It's not like I'm going to have sex with you to prove it to him that we're really together. How do we approach this?"

Marcus's eyes changed from their widened state into a more mischievous form, "I propose a three stage plan; bliss, bust, and bury."

"You're going to explain that right," I raised an eye brow.

He shook his head, his thoughts about my intelligence clearly shown on his face, "At first we're the perfect couple, then second there's trouble in paradise, and then third -we destroy their relationship –if you can even call it that."

"How will they even get to see all that if we're never in the same places," I asked, "It seems unrealistic."

"That's why you need to invite me over more," he grumbled, "Cam takes Duh-livia places doesn't he?"

I nodded.

"Right," he threw up his hands, "Are you embarrassed of me?"

"What? No-,"

"It's because I'm gay isn't it?" The table of old ladies next to us gave me a scolding look.

"Marcus, cut it out," I kicked him under the table, "Fine. I'll invite you over more."

"Good," he smiled, "So you're on board for the plan?"

I sighed heavily, "I guess."

"Oh, and we're going to have to double date," he smiled.

I coughed and spluttered on the drink I had attempted to take a sip of, "That's funny, I thought you said a double date."

"That's funny, I thought you actually didn't understand me," he patted my head, "It's not that hard, I mean you and Cam are actually friends right? Just say that I wanted to meet a friend of yours."

"Sure, I can see this going perfectly," I scoffed, "Hey Cam! Want to go on a double date with my gay boyfriend so we can make you dump your cheap, fake ass girlfriend?"

"Has Massie been helping you with your insults," Marcus asked.

My cheeks reddened, "Maybe."

"Good, you'll need them if you're going to be near Olivia," he chuckled, "Look, I have another coffee date to get to –are we all set."

"Yah," I nodded. Standing up, I left a wad of bills of the table before packing my things in my purse and straightening out my outfit, "Marcus? Thanks so much for all of this –you don't know how much it means to me."

"No problem Claire," he smiled, giving me a platonic peck on the head, "Call me later okay?"

I walked out of the coffee shop, my mind now filled with new aspects to consider and mull over. To me the plan sounded like a sure fail, but a rather large piece of me was begging for it to be a success. Though after him and Olivia broke up, what would it mean for us? Did I want to get into a relationship with Cam again? _Hell yah. _But I guess it didn't matter how much I wished, or how much I was pining for the green-blue eyed boy. The real question was whether Cam wanted to get into a relationship with me?

**Massie POV**

"_I'm so glad you're not a bitch anymore Massie," Olivia smirked as she headed out the door._

_I smiled as she left, my teeth digging into my bottom lip acting as an effective muzzle. _

"_Mass, don't listen to her," Claire hugged me, "She can't even spell bitch." _

"_Are you kidding?" I shrugged, already turning to run to my room, "It didn't bother me in the slightest." _

"Nana," I heard him call from outside my room door. "Nana, are you in there?"

I was silent. Maybe if I didn't answer he would leave. I had to remind myself over and over again that last night did _nawt _happen. Since when do I run to some boy crying? I'm Massie Block for heaven's sake. I made a pact with myself that I would be kinder, not some spineless damsel in distress.

"Nana," he called. "Nana,"

I was still in his sweatshirt and my underwear.

_I could still smell him on it. And the way he looked shirtless... _

"I know you're in there,"

"No, I'm actually not," I called back.

I heard the door creak open, forcing me to sit up immediately.

"If you want us to be _just_ friends could you close your crotch?"

I smiled as I closed my legs. He came and sat in front of me on the bed. The moment was awkwardly silent as he looked at me, expecting me to say something. What was I supposed to tell him?

_Sorry I basically broke into your house and decided to go all predator on you. _

"About last night..." he finally started.

I let my hair fall over my face, shielding me from whatever emotion he was showing, and whatever emotion I didn't want to break through. "I thought we were going to forget about that."

"I don't mean _that _part. I meant why were you crying in the first place?"

"It was nothing," I said, "PMS and shit, that's all."

He swept my hair behind my ears, "You and I both know it wasn't 'nothing.' I saw how you were crying Massie; 'Nothing' doesn't do that to you."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"No, you don't want to seem weak." He countered. Something flared in his eyes- determination? "Would you just talk to me Nana? I'm not set out for your destruction or anything. I just...care for you. God I know it sounds sappy- especially coming from me, but believe it or not, I care for you."

"Don't. I don't need anyone to care for me. I don't want you to care for me."

"Why? Even if you are the 'Alpha' Massie, it doesn't mean you have to be alone-"

"Don't- don't call me that," I turned my head from him, slapping away his hand. What was it about Derrick that caused me to let my guard down? It seemed as if every time I cried, he was there and able to see it. "Don't call me the _alpha. _That's what I used to call myself. That's how I _used _to act."

"Are you still hung up about that Massie? How you used to be? Stop killing yourself on how you were when you were 13. We were all immature and wanted popularity. We all screwed up back then."

"You guys didn't. _I did._ I ruined our friendships. I'm the reason we all didn't communicate for 10 years. I'm the reason Claire and Cam won't talk to each other and are still trying to make each other jealous. I ruined everyone's lives," I cried.

"_That's why? _ You don't want me to care for you because you used to be a _bitch?" _

"I don't want you to care for me because I don't deserve it!" I screamed at him. I lowered my voice immediately afterwards, I didn't like screaming at Derrick, "23 years of my life, I've had people there for me who loved me, and I treated them like crap on the side of the street. It didn't matter what I did, they always found a way to cater to me, to care for me. I didn't deserve it. Now, I finally get my payback and yet I continue to hurt people. For some twisted reason they still continue to love me, but I know that I don't deserve it. I'm a horrible person Derrick. I don't deserve for you to care about me."

Warm hands engulfed my hands. His hands entwined with mine, using them to brush away my tears. He was my protector, just like he had been in the club that night. Pulled me into his arms, he didn't try to make a move, or take advantage. He just kissed my forehead.

"You deserve in every way to be cared for, fawned over and loved just as much as anybody in the world if not more."

He smoothed over my hair repeatedly. We stayed this way for a few moments. I took in his smell, kind of like...ocean spray and mint. I loved it. I memorized the way the muscles in his back rippled as he moved his hands over my hair.

"Massie... what did you mean by pay back?"

I didn't know if I could do it. Every time I even tried to think about it, my heart would constrict. But this was Derrick. Derrick who cared for me and loved me at least as a friend- I could trust him.

I did the mental math; we'd been here for about 2 weeks now. It happened four weeks before our arrival here. The day my life was taken away from me. The day I truly realized that there could be hell on Earth.

Tears dripped down my eyes and onto his hands. I didn't want to cry about this anymore. I didn't want to have to be the only one stuck with it. I couldn't take being alone anymore. For now I could let him in. Though somehow, I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up hurting him in the end.

"Massie please," he pleaded, "tell me. I can't stand to see you like this..."

"6 weeks ago," I choked out. All the existing air had finally run out, "6 weeks ago I was raped."


	13. Chapter 12: Slow Down

**Chapter 12: Slow Down **

"_Alright, alright slow down…" _

_~The Academy Is_

**Derrick POV**

"Derrick," her voice trembled. Oh God, please, she can't feel any more pain. I can't take her hurting in any way. It's not fair. "I'm sorry... I-I shouldn't have told you."

I brought my shaking hands to my face and raked them through my hair. I couldn't stop them from trembling. I caught a glimpse of the mirror in Massie's room, not recognizing myself. I saw someone foreign. I saw someone on the verge of losing it.

Her voice broke as she spoke, "Please say something."

"Massie," I groaned, taking her into my arms, "Massie I am so sorry. You didn't deserve for that to happen. Who did it Massie, I swear, I will do everything and anything I need to do to make him pay."

"I- I can't say his name. I can't think about it right now Derrick. It's taken me this long to finally tell someone- I can't even begin to remember it."

The weight of this was crashing on me. Imagine what it felt like on her small, fragile shoulders. I couldn't do anything but kiss her. Kiss her forehead, kiss her nose, and kiss her red and blotchy cheeks. Never her lips but I was fine with that.

She opened her eyes, her pupils crossing cutely to focus on my face in front of her, "I'd understand if you don't want to stay- it must be awkward..."

"Trust me; what I'm feeling is the farthest from awkwardness. You've never told _anyone?_"

"Just a psychologist- he didn't understand. He looked at me as if I was a project to fix. He looked at me as if I was broken." Fresh tears sprung to her eyes as she talked.

"Massie," I lifted her head to look at straight in the eyes, "You have been so strong,"

She started crying harder. I could feel myself wanting to cry from just seeing her. When had I ever felt more connected to someone than this moment? Every tear, every sob, I pushed my fingers through her hair, not trying to comfort her, but to comfort myself. All the while my mind sped through the possibilities of who it could be, and the most tortuous end for them.

To think that someone had forced her…He hurt her. Massie had been abused, taken advantage of…_raped. _The word didn't seem real, at least not in relation to us. It was a weird feeling. Whenever I thought of rape I thought of the stories you here on the news, or the headlines you see in the news papers. My stomach churned, making me want to vomit of the thought of it happening to her. For the first time in years, the world seemed truly unfair.

"I wasn't rejecting you last night, I just- when you were on top of me and I couldn't-"She was starting to hyperventilate. "Or when we were at the club- and the man was just dancing- he wasn't-it was my f-fault."

"Don't worry, shh," I soothed her.

Her tear wet lips smashed against mine as she pulled the hairs at the nape of my neck painfully. Definitely a turn on, but I could see through it.

"Don't force yourself to feel Massie. You don't deserve that." I managed to get out.

"I just want to feel something besides feeling so lost. I want to be with you and not think of _him._"

I kissed her swollen lips softly, elated that she actually wanted to be with _me, "_Then we can just take it slow."

Sighing, she cuddled into my chest, and wrapped her soft arms around my waist. As she drifted off into a nap, I realized my hands were still trembling at her back. Taking a deep breath, I tried to will the anger away. The attempt was futile, just as I knew it would be. Incarceration wouldn't be enough. Inside me I knew that I wouldn't be satisfied if before his capture, his neck wasn't under my hands.

**Josh's POV**

"_Bastardo," _Alicia shouted. "_Yo no le puedo creer!_"

Wow, she's angry. My chick doesn't normally refer to Español unless she's entering bitch mode.

"What do you mean you can't believe me?" I thought over all the things I had done in the past 24 hours. I hadn't slept with anyone else, or made a douche bag comment or said some other girl was hot. I don't get this woman.

"_Que es esto_?" she held up a black leather bound notebook.

"_Nombre de Dios," _I cursed. I didn't know why but I hardly spoke in Spanish. The only times my mother language escaped was when I was cursing, or you know, lady loving…

"N_ombre de Dios es correcto! ¿Que es esto? ¿Y por que, tienes muchos numeros de chicas pero, no tienes mi numero? ¿Pensé que usted fue grave acerca de nosotros?" _

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down Alicia. Yes it is a book of girls' numbers, but it's not mine! That's why it doesn't have your number. I am serious about us! That's why I got rid of all my past shindigs."

"_No es suyo?" _

"No, it's not mine,"

"_Entonces, por que lo tienes?" _

"I have it because... a friend needed to leave it with me."

"_Mentiroso," _she grumbled, heading for the door.

"I'm not a liar! Why don't you just trust me? I can't tell you whose it is because they asked me not to. I'm trying to be a good friend babe, why can't you just let me?"

"_Porque te quiero,"_ she sighed. "_Y, no puedo vivir sin ti. Pienso que, no estas feliz conmigo._"

"Alicia, I love you too and I can't live without you either. But you have to trust me. I am happy with you. I'm not looking out for anyone else's hot ass but yours ok?"

She smiled as she came over to me and hugged me. "I'm sorry," she finally said.

"Ah, English. That's what I like to hear."

She giggled as she left the room, giving me the show of her sexy catwalk.

I knew that I had screwed up and around in the past but I really wanted Alicia to realize that I'd never _intentionally _hurt her. That's why I never got angry when she questioned my faithfulness. I had hurt her over and over, so I guess I deserved it. Sure I got annoyed, but not angry.

Though I don't know how much of this I can take. Eventually, she will stop trusting me completely, and I wouldn't be able to live with that. Just like she had said, _No puedo vivir sin ti; _I really couldn't live without her. So I sure hope as hell that Keegan will take back his damn black book from me; and soon.

**Claire's POV**

"You need to get closer to Cam as a friend," Markus told me.

We were stationed in our favorite Starbucks Café sipping Frapuccino's. I took the straw of my shake and twirled it in the fluffy, white whip cream, finally getting to suck it. I always saved the whip cream for last.

"Why?"

"Because then, you can get to know about him, report back to me and then I can have a better idea as to what the hell we're doing."

"But...it would feel like I'm using him."

"Well duh, you are," he said, knocking me in the head, 'should've had a V8' style, "But you're using him to get to him, which completely justifies your actions."

Does it?

"How am I supposed to become his friend?"

"Are you really asking me how to make a friend?"

I realized how that _did _sound. When was the last time I really had to make friends? I worked for commercials, and people hung around me, but I never really became their _friend. _Just an acquaintance,

"Oh my goodness, Mark, I don't know how to make friends!"

"Claire really, we became friends didn't we?"

"That wasn't intentional," I argued, "You were rescuing me from a man trying to dry hump me on the dance floor. I have never sought after someone with the purpose of becoming their friend. How am I supposed to do that with Cam? What if he thinks I'm weird or freaky? What if I'm one of those people who makes jokes that aren't funny-"

"Alright, alright, slow down," he said, "That's not going to happen. Stop thinking so lowly of yourself Claire- its Cam. You were friends with him before. You'll be fine. Now take out your phone."

"Why?"

"I know you have his number- you're going to call him and ask him if he would like to go jogging with you at six today."

"But-"

"Do it," he commanded.

I pulled out my phone and gingerly pressed the number in for Cam,

"You memorized-"

"Hey Cam," I said before Markus could tease me.

"_Claire?_" he asked, startled. What, was it that impossible for me to call him? My cheeks started heating- even over the phone he had the ability to make me blush.

"Yah, it's me," I laughed.

Please insert awkward silence 'here.'

"Was there something you wanted to tell me or..."

"Yah," I said blushing yet again, "I'm sorry for how our last encounter ended. If you'd like, you could come running with me at six and we can you know, catch up?"

He was silent for a few moments. This is it. He's going to tell me that I'm not worth his time. That I'm an idiot for thinking he'd want to talk with me. I couldn't blame him. If I thought about it, I'd been treating Cam pretty rotten the past few days.

"That'd be perfect. Of course I'd like to," he said gently. "I'll meet you in front of your house at six then?"

"Ok, see you then." I snapped the phone shut just as he was about to say 'bye.' I'd have to remember to not do that next time.

"Hey Mona Lisa smile," Markus threw the napkin in my face, "Please come back down to Earth."

"Oh?" I realized I did have a sickening grin on my face, "Sorry."

"Right, I've done my part for the day. All you've got to do is get me information and you've done your part."

"Ok Dr. Evil," I laughed, "I really think I can do this."

He held out a hand to me helping me up from the table. As we were about to depart to our different cars he gave me a once over,

"What?" I said patting down my hair and straitening my clothes. I thought I looked pretty ok.

He sighed before retreating into his car, "Claire. Please, ask Massie for help. Cuz so help me God, I will attack you if I hear you went jogging in those sweats. Are we clear?"

"Yes Markus," I laughed as I headed to my car, "Crystal."

**The Sorority **

Skeptically, I surveyed the outfit Massie had thrown me into. Feeling out of my skin, I tried to negotiate, asking for shorts that actually reached past my ass. However, I was denied my request. Normally the issue would be pressed until she relented, but when I had initially approached Massie, she'd been acting queerly. I would sacrifice my security if it meant she would keep that light in her eyes.

By the time it was six, I had on makeup, a pair of Juicy shorts, a white tank top and my hair was brushed into a high pony tail. Quite excessive for a run, I thought, but I reminded myself that this time I was going as part of the plan –not for actual exercise.

"You look so hot right now Claire, he won't be able to resist you."

"You really think so," I checked in the mirror. Of course the outfit was slightly provocative but not over the top. This was why Massie was the perfect person to come to.

"Claire, you seem like, 'I'm so innocent the convent kicked me out," she said, "What you need to be is, 'I'm so innocent, but my sex is kinky.' Do you get it? Make him drool."

Yes, Massie was the perfect person to come to if you wanted criticism as well.

"Alright," I nodded, "I have to go. I'm five minutes late."

"Ok," she sighed and tucked money in my bra. I gaped at her. "The night honestly can't end with just running Kuh-laire. I gave you the money just in case you go out."

"Thanks," I said, heading out the door. Please God, I know I've been horrible, but please, let this go well.

**Cam's POV**

_Bounce… Bounce…Bounce _

"Um, Claire," I ripped my eyes away from her chest, "Maybe we could, uh, go sit soon."

"Yah sure," she nodded, "We can jog to Starbucks. But for now we can slow down."

_I don't think I can make it to Starbucks. _

As stimulating as our conversation was there was other aspects of our meeting that were stimulating other parts of me. Claire probably thought I was some hormonal teen by the way I was scoping out her chest. Either that or I was trying to find the meaning of life in her breasts.

_Bounce. _

Forcing my eyes to her face I found her with a small on her face, almost as if she was doing it unconsciously. We'd gotten quiet a few moments ago, just enjoying the light breeze of the night, and the thud of our feet on the pavement. Spending time with Claire had to be my favorite past time. Every bad stereotype, habit, or flaw that Olivia showed me was washed away by this woman here. She didn't have to try to be beautiful. She lived and breathed beautiful.

In that moment I felt a shift in my feelings for her. No longer was it lust for her body that overwhelmed me, I began to lust for her mind, for her presence. I wanted to know every minute detail about Claire. I would never say 'insignificant' detail, since nothing relating to Claire could ever be insignificant.

Except for that prick boyfriend of hers.

To say that I wasn't thrilled about her relationship was such an understatement I almost felt uncomfortable with the lie. I had never actually met the guy, but first impressions spoke volumes. To think that he would disrespect Claire by making such a public display of her was sickening. I mean if I had Claire, of course I would show her off –but there was a line between showing her off and peeing on your territory.

It wasn't appreciated.

But this view certainly was.

_Get a grip. _

I wasn't going to lie, I _wanted _Claire. I could value every inch of her body from her corn silk hair to her Ked covered feet. She had the slightest of curves, giving her a delicate form. Her legs were firm, long, and toned, along with the divine ass she possessed. Then there was her chest which was _perfect. _They weren't too big, weren't too small, they were just perfect; for me.

And the way they bounced.

_Smack._

"Cam," Claire rushed back to where I lay, flattened on the ground, "Oh my goodness are you okay."

A suddenly I was. Not because it didn't hurt; not because I was losing feeling in my face; and not because I had a clear view down Claire's top as she bent over. Rather, I was okay because it was Claire, and the look on her face was one of pure concern. For once in a long time, I felt cared for. It felt good.

"You're really beautiful," I slipped.

Her cheeks lit on fire, her words barely audible, "Thank you."

After she helped me up I found myself still unsettled. My head was ringing, feeling as if someone had taken a mallet and struck me while I wasn't looking. As the feeling continued I started to wonder if it had been induced from the pole, or from my interaction with Claire. By the end of the night, I knew I was in danger of falling. Only I knew it would be much harder than I had ever fallen before.


	14. Chapter 13: Waking Up In Vegas

**Chapter 13: Waking up in Vegas**

"_Remember what you told me." _

_~Katy Perry_

**Massie POV**

_What the hell happened? _

I didn't know what the hell I had done. The night seemed like a play of my imagination –something I had conjured up in a moment of boredom. There were holes in my memory, leaving gaps in the timeline, and also leaving me very confused. All I could remember was Derrick saying he was bored, me joking that we go to Las Vegas and then ending up in a bar.

A loud noise next to me made my heart drop faster than NASDAQ. It took me a few moments, but I finally identified the sound of a snore. Rolling over, I hoped to God that it wasn't a complete stranger next to me.

You wouldn't believe how happy I was to see that head of tussled blonde hair.

Now to check if my clothes were on…

Check.

I dropped my head back on the pillow in relief, almost congratulating myself at keeping my clothes intact. I reach up to push the hair out of my eyes when I catch the sight of a smiley face ring on my left hand, staring blankly in my face. Suddenly the memories of the night before came crashing back.

**The Previous Night **

"Ok, whydid we come to _Nevada_?" I asked Derrick as he helped me out of the limo. We were about to enter the Mandalay Hotel. It didn't show, but excitement was bubbling in my stomach, threatening to spill out. Not to mention I couldn't help the confusion that was present in my mind.

"To have fun," Derrick smiled. His adorable brown eyes lit, pleading with me to go along. I rolled my eyes at his antics. "You were stuck at your flipping computer for the past few days and I couldn't take it anymore. You needed to get out."

"To Las Vegas," I said incredulously, "We hopped into a plane just to have fun? There are perfectly good clubs in California Derrick."

"Massie do you ever shut up?" he laughed as he pulled me into our room. I didn't care about sleeping in the same bed as Derrick. I knew he would never take advantage of me. What I was wondering was how long we were going to stay in Las Vegas for.

"How long are we staying here for?"

"We're leaving on the jet tomorrow morning," he replied, "I actually do have to do some work."

"Oh right, how is business going?" I asked.

"Nana honestly, I don't want to talk about work while we're trying to relax."

"Fine, fine, I know how to relax," I sighed, putting my purse down and flopping onto the unbelievably soft bed. "This hotel is amazing."

He shrugged it off, "I've been to better."

My mouth hung open, "What so you're all high class now?"I raised an eyebrow to show I was joking. He stuck his tongue out and wiggled his butt at me.

I gasped excitedly, "You haven't done that in forever. Every time you shot a goal-"

"Yah," he laughed, "I did it for a while until my bosses thought it wasn't funny anymore."

I laughed into the pillow, "What's on the agenda?"

"Partying," he smiled mischievously, "Partying nonstop."

**The Sorority**

I giggled furiously almost falling off the bench.I shouldn't have had the fourth shot of Grey Goose.

"Let's get married," Derrick shouted to me over the blaring music in the club. He was twice as drunk as I was. Guess he was light weight too, "It'll be fun."

"That's your proposal big boy?" I slapped his arm, "You sucked at it."

"Massie, I don't know your middle name, Block," Derrick lazily picked up my hand, "I am here...you are here...I love you... will you marry me?"

"I guess," I placed a sloppy kiss on his lips, "Well then let's go big boy!"

We skipped hand in hand drunkenly until we reached where we guessed was the 'chapel.'

"Hello!" Derrick shouted, "I want to marry this girl...right over here."

I guffawed at this, thinking it was the funniest thing ever.

"Good night youngsters," the old man greeted us.

"I'm not young," I corrected, "I'm old. I am twenty-something years old."

"Me too," Derrick declared excitedly, flipping the old man his wallet.

"Really," I crowed like this was the greatest discovery, "I am too!"

The man cleared his throat, "I'm happy for your declaration. Would you like to get on with this then? Are you sure of what you're doing?"

"Yes," we duet.

"Then sign here," he pulled out two forms and I lazily print out _mAssIE bLOck. _

I didn't even pay attention to what the man was saying. His voice was like a buzzing sound that was rattling in my head. At some point in time Derrick place an object on the wrong finger and I corrected him in high hysterics. The old man finally gave us the go ahead to kiss and the next thing I knew Derrick and I were at our room.

"Aren't you supposed to carry me over the threshold?" I stomped my foot like a five year old.

"Not with your weight," he laughed. I gaped at him and slapped his arm. "I'm joking, joking. You are the sexiest person I have ever seen."

"Really," I kissed his jaw; the only place on his face I could reach. I giggled (something I seemed to have done a lot) as he pulled me into his arms bridal style and kicked the door open, only to notice that he needed the card. We burst out laughing.

"Ok, ok," he unlocked the door, "Take two!"

After kicking open the door and carrying me into the room he dropped me onto the bed. My red strapless floral Sumakhi dress flowed out beside me as Derrick popped skittles in his mouth from a pack we'd bought earlier on in the day.

"Why are you so far awayyyyyyyy?" I pouted, "Come here."

Derrick came onto the bed with me and lay down beside me. I pulled myself onto him and kissed him gently.

"We're drunk Mass," he stated against my lips. I ignored him completely. "I can't do this if we're drunk."

"But why," whined again.

"I don't want to take advantage of you," he grumbled and moved me off of him. Was he sobering up? I think I was in between realms.

"You're not," I argued firmly, "I give you my complete consent to take me on this bed."

"Massie," he started, "You're not ready for that."

"I know, I know," I stuck my tongue out, "But can't we just have a little fun?"

He knew I had a point. As a matter of fact it was him who had insisted on us having fun in the first place. At my statement he completely lost his argument and began kissing me with more gusto.

I felt his warm and soft lips against mine move slowly, and surely, the doubt no longer plaguing us. I could already feel the tingling in my stomach with him building with ever touch and every bit of contact we gained. He remained at my side, caution not to loom over me. For this I was thankful because I was positive that even in my drunken state Derrick on top of me would cause fright.

The kiss became urgent as I felt Derrick move me away from the edge of the bed and further to the center. I shuddered at the feel of his roaming hands, applying pressure to the bumps and curves of my body. _This is Derrick, _I reminded myself.

His fruity tongue slipped into my mouth and I loved the taste. I battled against his tongue, trying to gain some domination.

I wanted to taste the rainbow.

My legs locked behind him as I pressed myself closer into him. Peeling off his shirt I began fiercely pressing my lips to his chest, marveling at its smoothness. I guess Derrick was one of those 'I like shaving there' kind of guys and I definitely didn't mind.

"Massie," he groaned as I trailed down. I bit at his flesh leaving reddish marks down his torso. I could feel him shiver beneath me.

He pulled me back up to him so that I could regain access to his mouth. The movement of his hands to my destruction site caused me to freeze, my mouth stilling and my hands balling into fists.

"It's ok Massie, it's just me," he said softly.

"Are you sure," Derrick checked. I nodded impatiently.

I almost stopped breathing completely. It was just so good...the feeling of his hands pressing against me. We touched innocently, the night ending when we shared and released each other's names in heavy breathed moans and sighs.

**The Next Morning **

I giggled at the smiley face ring now on my finger as I crawled back into bed to snuggle with him. I knew I would have to deal with this, but procrastinating seemed so much more fun. Right now, I could replay our steamy night from before.

Though as I replayed the best parts of last night, my mind paused and rewound to an aspect I had overlooked. Derrick had said he loved me. Was it because he was drunk? Or did Derrick Harrington, after all these years, finally love me?


	15. Chapter 14: I Gotta Feeling

**Chapter 14: I Gotta Feeling**

"_I want to let it go…Just lose it all." _

_~The Black Eyed Peas_

**Kristen POV **

"Where the hell is Massie," Alicia snapped as she sucked at her frozen coffee violently. I had to remember never to let Alicia go past 8am without coffee.

"She went somewhere with Derrington earlier, I have no idea where," I said. She looked kind of confused as to where she was going to me. I had asked Chris if he knew anything but he didn't know where Derrick was going either. I hoped they weren't getting into trouble. The girls always seemed to be getting themselves wrapped into things that they couldn't get out of.

I didn't want to call them immature, but in a way I felt as if I had surpassed my friends in that area. Over the past few years I had taken the time to iron out the kinks in my life. Seeing as I didn't come from a particularly rich family like my peers did, I had to work harder than a child at my age should have worried about. By day I was Kristen 'part of the clique.' Sure my friends knew that I was the less fortunate, but did they know that I studied from the time I got home until one?

College had been tolling. I spent days at classes, nights at schools, and weekends in the bar with a textbook, getting sloshed while I glossed over every fine detail of my future.

Then something wonderful happened. Chris happened.

Dylan burped.

"Gawd- Dyl, would it _kill _you to nawt do that?" Alicia barked. It seemed as if every chord in her was strung tightly and tensely, waiting for the right moment to snap.

"Leesh, honestly, chill," I told her. "What's going on with you?"

She looked around as if checking to see who was there. I didn't know why she did this seeing as were in Starbucks, and no one really gave a crap what we did. I supposed that was why this was one of my favorite settings. You could leave the confines of your home, travel a short distance and immerse yourself in the rich, blunt smell of coffee and sugar. Alicia's secrets were safe here since we were in our own worlds.

"I'm worried that... he's cheating on me," she finally sighed. Never had I seen such a defeated look on Alicia's face. To her, romance was something she didn't have the time for. Well, this is what she wanted us to think. I think we all knew that Alicia cared more about Josh than she let on. I wondered if Josh knew how indispensable he was.

"Bastard," Dylan muttered, sipping at her apple juice. I wondered if any entered her mouth at all.

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I asked, "Why do you think that?"

"Cause of some frigging black book I found," she took in another heavy swig of her coffee, "It had all the names of these girls in it. He said he was 'holding it for a friend.'"

I coughed on my drink as did Dylan. Though somehow, Dylan's managed to spray across the table. Alicia and I pulled back our cups quickly, already used to Dylan's antics. But thank goodness the guys had gone to stop at Circuit City, before deciding to join us. I didn't know how charming they'd find apple juice drizzled on their skin

"Where have I heard that one," Dylan snorted. I kicked her under the table, eliciting a glare aimed my way.

"I don't know whether to believe him. I want to trust him, but after-"

"Leesh," I comforted her, "what happened 10 years ago doesn't matter ok? We're all together now."

"But that doesn't mean he has changed," she groaned, "Do you guys ever think that Massie's boy fast was for the best?"

We were all morosely silent. No one had mentioned the thing that had broken us apart or the details that followed. Of course we had never vowed to keep it quiet. It was more like an unspoken agreement that the past was not worth bringing up. Too much hurt and too much confusion had been caused by out childish actions. I didn't know if our avoidance was for the better, or if it would just encourage a buildup of emotion.

When would it erupt?

"Something that extreme wasn't necessary," I concluded my opinion, "But at least see how this plays out Alicia, I don't want you to get hurt. You can't give up on him when you don't know what's happening."

She nodded and finished her drink. After throwing it away she looked slightly less crabby, "Enough about me. What's going on with you guys?"

"Nothing," I told her, truthfully. Dylan shrugged her frail and bony shoulders, drawing our attention to her body.

"Dyl, you're like a stick," Alicia verbalized my thought frankly.

"Yah...you've lost so much weight," I covered.

"Really?" she beamed, "Thanks."

"Um, honey," I softened, "I don't know if Alicia was saying it in a good way."

She looked up from her drink and I could see the hollowness beneath her eyes. In that second I witnessed how much Dylan had changed over the past few weeks. My eyes trailed down the outline of her thin limbs, shocked by the weight loss. I supposed the diet, and exercising she'd been doing was working extremely well; _too_ well.

"What do you mean?" she defended, "I haven't even reached my goal. I'm a size three and I'm going for zero."

"You really don't need too Dyl," I told her, "You're perfect the way you are."

"No I'm not," she argued.

"You're not doing anything stupid are you?" Alicia asked her. "Dylan I swear-"

"Would you both get off my back already, I'm flipping 23 not 13, I don't need you're supervision. I'll lose weight however and whenever I want to. So shut the hell up," she barked.

"Kristen is your bitch radar going off?" Alicia sneered.

"If it was it's because she's detecting you," Dylan retorted.

"Stop," I intervened, "We're not arguing now. I already had to wake up at three this morning, so that was torture enough."

"Why would you wake up then," Dylan asked.

I thought about the talking I heard almost every night, mentally groaning at the thought of the disturbance. I had it in my mind to speak to Claire about it, but she seemed so distraught. On top of this she was talking to her mother and you can't tell someone to stop speaking with their parent.

"Claire keeps getting these calls," I groaned, "It's ad all hours of the night. And it's not like I can get back to sleep. What she says keeps me up."

"What does she say?" Alicia probed. I didn't want to gossip about Claire because she was one of my closest friends out of the girls, but I was worried about her.

"She's always giving excuses why she can't be on the phone. It always starts with her apologizing, and then she says something before the conversation stops. The worse thing is that it's her mother every time."

"Leave her be," Alicia shook her head, "She'd probably be embarrassed if we brought it up."

"Yah," Dylan agreed, "Leave it alone Kris."

"I know," I sighed. "Drama loves us, doesn't it?"

"Honey, get used to it," Alicia advised, "Because I gotta feeling it's only just begun,"

And as much as I hated to admit it, I thought Alicia was right. I just hope to God that all the drama would stay away from Chris and me.


	16. Chapter 15: A Night To Remember

**Chapter 15: A Night to Remember**

"_It's too late to back out of it."_

_~High School Musical 3__  
_

**Claire POV**

Two weeks had passed since Cam and I had created our new friendship. Two weeks had passed since we fell in to a mess of comfort and security. Two weeks had passed since I realized that I was utterly, and helplessly in love with him.

I had never been with someone before that seemed so intent on learning every detail about me. He was sweet, he was caring and he listened to me. On top of this, more than one times I found myself gawking over him, or lamely drooling after him.

I had done as I was told and I had gathered information on Cam's dislikes and likes, his pet peeves, and just things that made him happy. It made _me _happy, just learning about him. I could see myself spending the rest of my life with this man.

The only thing is that I didn't think he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. What if Olivia was the one for him? It wasn't the first time I would have been _ditched _by him for her.

Tonight was the night. About a few nights ago I had told Cam that Markus was anxious to meet one of my closest friends, and I asked him if he wanted to bring Olivia over to double. He agreed.

I didn't know whether that's fortunate or unfortunate.

So now here I was in a tight black dress with cocktail beads hanging loosely down my neck. Massie had painted my finger and toe nails a bright, waxy red and had paired my dress with red, patent, Prada shoes. I looked sophisticatedly sexy. Well, at least that's what Jamie told me.

"Wow Claire," Cam kissed my cheek as he entered. My cheeks turned pink, "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," I smiled at him as he passed to shake hands with Markus.

"Kuh-laire," Olivia squealed,"Oh meh gawsh, look at you!"

"No, look at _you_," I plastered the smile on my face. What the hell is she wearing? Who wears a hot pink leather skirt with a black strapless, sequenced top? I didn't even know leather could come in hot pink.

My eyes hurt.

"I know right? This skirt shapes my ass perfectly. Cam couldn't keep his hands off me for the whole ride here, isn't that right sweetie?" she cooed at him.

_You can't punch her. Not right now... _

"This is Markus," I said introducing him to her. Her eyes scoped him out immediately. Apparently liking what she saw, she winked at him.

"Claire," he whispered low in my ear before I could do anything.

"Right," I cleared my throat, "Why don't we all go to the balcony? The server will be with us soon."

Massie had insisted on hiring a server so that it was like a restaurant. I had complained that it was too much but from the way Olivia's eyebrows shot up I was glad. Cam held out his chair for Olivia whereas I had to pull my own chair out. I glared at Markus and he shrugged. Oh right, there's supposed to be trouble in paradise.

"Bread?" I tossed a piece of bread onto Markus's plate and gave him a tight smile before I offered the other two. Cam took some and thanked me but Olivia declined.

"I'm on an all carbs diet," she smiled.

I was about to say something until Markus pinched my leg under the table.

"So Olivia, what turned out to be your career choice," I asked politely.

And trust me; it took all of my will.

"I'm a yoga instructor," she answered.

"Oh really? That must be fun," I said.

"In bed it is," she winked at Cam. Cam choked on his bread.

_Wait... he's been doing it with her? _I felt my face burn.

"Kuh-laire, I know you're in the acting business. Are you still doing ads for Vagisil? Isn't it embarrassing to shoot commercials about uncomfortable itches _down there,_" she scoffed.

"I imagine it would be more embarrassing to _have_ the itch down there. But you would know wouldn't you Olivia?"

Cam almost spit out his water. Thank God the waiter came at this second to present the soup.

"Thank you," Cam, Markus and I all said. I turned to Olivia,

"How many calories is this,"

"Ma'am, I really don't know," he mumbled and walked away. I could have sworn I heard him grumbling about 'I don't get paid enough.'

"Ugh, help just isn't up to standards nowadays," she said and picked up her spoon and began eating.

"I thought you were in on an all carb diet," Markus said.

"Now Markus, that was rude," I said. I tried my hardest not to laugh and only to seem peeved with him. It seemed as if it was working because Olivia smirked at us as we had our argument in whispers. What was really happening was that Markus and I were discussing our next conversation topic. We'd agreed that I had to start bringing out Olivia's bad points.

Topic number one: How she looked.

"It's ok," she smiled, "Everyone's allowed to cheat once in a while."

"More like every day," Cam coughed. I masked my giggling by drinking my water. Though I couldn't hide the way my cheeks started reddening when Olivia shot me a glare.

"Your completely right Olivia," I said, "You especially. I mean, I don't even know why you'd go on a diet. You're so thin and gorgeous. I'd kill to have your body."

"Most people would,"

_You're not going to punch her, you're not going to punch her... ___

**Cam POV**

_You cannot punch a girl Cam; you cannot punch a girl, especially a girl that's supposed to be you're girlfriend. _

But what if that woman was a conceited idiot, couldn't it be justified?

She really thought she looked better than Claire? And I thought the name "all carb diet" was so self-explanatory that the users couldn't be confused about the guidelines.

"And your hair," Claire continued, "How did you get it to be so long and lustrous?"

"Well," she smirked, "I mean, I was born with it, but I leave the conditioner for a long time and _then _wash it out. Genius right?"

_Doesn't everybody do that? _I hated when girls were like this. Pompous and obnoxious,

"I think that Massie does that," Claire responded. For the life of me I didn't know how she remained so decent and poised. I'm already having a hard time not strangling Olivia right here and now.

"Of course," she growled, "Massie does everything first. Jeez, I hate that bitch- she's trying to convince everyone she's different but we all know she's not."

"Olivia I'd rather we didn't-" Claire started to say but Olivia continued.

"The other night when I stopped by, she was acting nice. But the second I mention how she used to be a bitch she gets all Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on my ass. It's all a front I'm telling you."

Every word that came from her mouth made me physically ill. I didn't know if girls knew this, but with every hateful, jealous word they released it made them that much more unattractive. Then, on top of that, to say it about someone your boyfriend cares about? I didn't care who Massie had been. All that mattered was who she was now.

"Olivia," I tried to interrupt, but her annoying, high pitched, nasally (from the nose job) voice killed out all other voices.

"And she thinks she's all that," she laughed... or cackled. "Come on Claire, back me up. You know I'm right, and plus you've never really liked her."

"Olivia," Claire's voice shook, "If you are going to continue to be disrespectful to me, my helpers and my _family, _I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

This is why I loved Claire. She was calm and collected, but she scared the hell out of me.

"Oh," Olivia wrinkled her nose in disgust and glared, "I didn't know it was like that."

"Well it is," she smiled and took a sip of her soup.

I couldn't wait until this night was over.


	17. Chapter 16: Potential Breakup Song

**Chapter 16: Potential Breakup Song**

"_It took too long." _

_~Aly and Aj_

**Claire POV **

It was finally time for us to break them up. A week had passed since the dinner and I was sure that Cam and Olivia were on the verge of splitting. I really hoped so. Every day I was coming closer to just jumping Cam's bones.

I peeked in Massie's room only to find that she hadn't come home yet. All I knew was that she left with Derrick the day before, and they'd been MIA since.

Jamie smiled at me as she passed me on the way to Kemp's jeep. She placed our beach chairs in and walked back into the house with the other girls. I felt bad that I hadn't been spending as much time with the other girls as I should have been. It seemed weird that even though we all had been living in the same house around three months, we hadn't been interacting all that frequently. I used to go on the Starbuck's breaks like the girls had gone on last night, but between Cam, work and my family trying to contact me, I just haven't been able to communicate with them. Though I could get a gist of what was going on with them, Kristen and Chris were still the picturesque couple, Alicia and Josh still had random Spanish spats, and Dylan and Kemp were still at their tomboy stages. Dylan was unusually thin to the point her clothes could drop off her, which was frightening to say the least. Jamie seemed to be head over heels in love with Keegan though Keegan seemed a little... loose to me. But who was I to judge? I was here playing my own love game.

"Hey sexy ass," Markus called from inside the house. I growled at the nick name, walking inside and glaring at him.

"I asked you not to call me that," I said more sharply than I actually felt. I played up on the annoyance since Cam was watching from the couch.

"I can't help it if it's hot," he laughed and reached over to squeeze my behind. I shuddered when he did, not wanting anyone besides Cam touching me there.

"Stop it," I hit him on the shoulder. "Hands off,"

Markus continued to harass me until Cam cleared his throat behind him. As the stare down started I suddenly noticed how intimidating Cam could be, and inferior Markus looked when standing next to him. Then again I was biased, but either way, it was a definite turn on.

"Dude, cut it out," Cam ordered.

"She's my girlfriend," Markus taunted rather than reminded.

Cam shoved past Markus and headed to the car leaving me bright faced and Markus very satisfied.

"Plan is _definitely _in motion," Markus winked as he headed out.

**The Sorority**

I replayed the plan in my head step by step,

_Seduction _

_Suspicion _

_Revelation _

We set out our towels and chairs out on the hot, grainy sand and made ourselves comfortable. The sun kissed at my skin, paying particular attention to my stomach and cheek. I accepted it with open arms, wanting all the lavish caresses it was giving it. The warm feeling that erupts from intense heat burst inside my stomach. I let out unintelligible words as I snuggled into my towel.

"Hey sexy," Markus called, "Put on some sun screen or you'll burn."

"Ah," Jamie laughed as she lay down on her towel, "Thank God I'm black."

"You can still burn smart ass," I nudged sand playfully at her.

"Oh but you see," she stuck her tongue out, "I don't turn red."

"Punk," Alicia snorted and flipped her sun glasses up.

A shadow covered over me. I turned to see Markus, looming over my towel, leering at my body. He played the part of the jerk boyfriend, almost too well.

"Want me to put some on you," he asked cheekily.

"Markus!" Olivia pouted, "Can you come put some on _me? _Cam sucks at this."

I looked over at Cam who was sloppily patting it on Olivia's back. I couldn't blame him; _I wouldn't want to touch Olivia either..._

"Hey Cam," I smiled at him, "You can come help me since Markus is...occupied."

He laughed and trailed over to me. I felt his muscular torso positioned behind me as I scooted closer to him, shivering at the feel of his warm and large hands on my back. First, fingers were kneading small circles at my shoulder blades and down my spine. They then made the journey around my curves. I was soon convinced that Cam was no longer rubbing lotion on me but just copping-a-feel. His fingers trailed right below my chest and shyly forward, brushing over the top.

"Cam, come in the water with me," Olivia's annoying voice cut through.

His face bright red, he shot an apologetic look at me and ran off towards the water with Olivia.

I sighed and crawled over to Markus who was searching in a bag for something.

"What are you searching for?" I asked.

"Hand sanitizer," he said frantically.

"Here," I laughed, and chucked it to him from my purse, "That bad huh?"

"I think I got crabs," he shuddered, "She was like, grinding me Claire."

"Already," my eyes got wider.

"Don't act so innocent," Markus knocked me in the head, "I saw Cam on you over there. You weren't fighting it either. Control yourselves, that's why Olivia took him over there."

"How do we get you back to Olivia?" I asked.

"We join them in the water," he winked and held out his hand, "As awkward as this could get Claire, just remember it's all part of the plan. We're friends got it?"

"Yah, I love you Markus," I laughed, "You don't have to worry about anything."

"As long as you remember that; now come on, let's get in the water."

I walked to the receding waves as Markus ran, full speed ahead into the water. He purposely kicked up the salty water into my face causing me to splutter.

"Markus," I complained, "Ow,"

"Oh suck it up babes," he laughed and continued to splash the water in my face.

_Oh man, _I thought, _it burns. _

"Who wants to chicken fight," Markus shouted.

"OOO-I do," Olivia squealed. "Cam does too."

"Ok then let's do it," Markus agreed without getting my consent.

Markus does a once over of Olivia and then scrutinizes my body closely and slowly. I felt disgusting, feeling the urge to cover my body with my hands.

"I call Olivia," Markus announced afterwards. "No offense sexy ass but, Liv looks lighter; war tactics and all."

I could feel my mouth take the form of an 'o', thinking of several words to call Markus at this moment, all of which were not too delightful. I knew Markus said this was part of the plan but damn, from the look of satisfaction on Olivia's face, I had a feeling I wouldn't mind plunging her under the water, and possibly holding her there for some time.

**Cam POV **

It took self control and then some to not completely floor this prick. The nerve of him to scope Claire out as if she were an amoeba under a microscope- and then to pick the other girl over his girlfriend! I mean, yes, I would _definitely _pick Claire over Olivia, but not openly. I had some respect towards Olivia. She was a bitch, but she still had feelings.

I looked at Claire's face that was not only red from obvious embarrassment and hurt, but from that jackass spraying seawater in her face. He didn't know the meaning of stop, and I swore if he didn't learn it soon I would kick his ass up through his throat.

Claire waded over to me, her head positioned down, and her hair creating a veil. Instinctively, I gently moved her face upwards to face mine. I could see the burning redness of her cheeks and her cold eyes,

"Are you ok?" I asked her. My thumbs brushed over her cheeks to dry off the saltwater.

"Yah, yah," she mumbled, "Are you sure you can hold me? I might be too heavy."

"Hey, look at me," I said the next words without thinking, but they were so completely true, "You're beautiful. Now come on- let's beat their asses."

A heart stopping smile broke across her face as she climbed on my back. I couldn't help but feel accomplished that I had been the one to put it there. In all truthfulness Claire wasn't the least bit heavy. I mean sure she wasn't _light_, but that was perfect for me. Not to mention I loved the way her skin felt against mine on my shoulders.

We did end up winning, and afterwards the whole gang retreated to the shore while the sun was beginning to set. As we took stuff out to eat, Claire traveled a few centimeters away to talk on her phone. Although I wasn't eavesdropping, I couldn't help but hear tidbits of her conversation. Claire sounded distraught as did the loud hum of the voice on the other end.

"I know Mom, but I can't come home right now I have to work. But you can always talk to Todd." Her voice is tight as she says this.

"Mom, I love you, you need to go to bed alright? I'll talk to you tomorrow." She lied. I couldn't believe that Claire would do that but I had to remember that everyone does. She must've had a good reason for it, and who am I to judge?

I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even realize Claire was positioned beside me, and that the others were walking with their partners down the beach. The only people missing were Derrick and Massie and all I knew was that D had mentioned something about 'Vegas.'

"You ok?" Claire asked. Weird, I was going to ask her the same thing.

"Yah," I looked around. This was peculiar, why was everything so quiet? "Where is Olivia?"

An unknown emotion crossed her face for a brief moment, soon replaced by her regular, soft expression, "She had to go to the bathroom, Markus decided to show her."

No wonder, I laughed inwardly.

"So is everything ok with you? You seemed kind of...distraught over there." I hedged.

"Yah, I'm great," she obviously lied. Why? What was going on with Claire? "It was just my mother. She's been really stressed."

"It's ok, we don't have to talk about it," I told her.

"Thanks." She smiled.

A few minutes passed as we talked about our jobs. Not the most interesting topic, but with Claire everything was interesting. I could just sit and be absorbed by her every word.

"Markus has been gone for a long time, where do you suppose he is?"

"I don't know," I don't really care either, "Probably ate something bad."

She laughed and hit my shoulder playfully before getting up and brushing herself off, "Come on, we should go check on them."

Claire was acting odd as we walked off to the bathrooms but I dismissed it as curiosity over where Markus was.

We soon found out.

Have you ever been in a situation where you just did notknow what to do? Man, it was times like these I wished I was Derrick because all I could do now was stand back and blush like an utter fool.

Here Olivia was, legs draped around Markus's waist and lips pressed to his. Markus's hands were lightly on her waist and he had her pushed against the wall.

My reaction: my mouth literally hung open- the epitome of shock.

Claire's reaction: screaming.

"What the hell are you doing!" She ripped Markus away from Olivia so suddenly that Olivia dropped to the ground. I tried to put away my satisfaction at the sight of her frowning.

"Claire, I can explain," Markus stuttered.

"Save it," she said and turned to me, "Cam, I'm so sorry-"

"Why are you apologizing," I laughed. That's what I felt like, laughing, "Man this is so screwed up."

"Cam, baby-"

"Olivia, really, we're done," I stated simply. I had to restrain myself from jumping and clicking my heels together. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to say those two words to her. If I wasn't so appalled at Markus for cheating on Claire, I could kiss him for _finally _giving me the reason to break up with Olivia. Even though this was so monumentally screwed, I felt so happy.

"Claire, please," Markus continued, "I'm so sorry. She means nothing to me, I want you way more, I swear."

I noted how he said 'want' and not 'love.' Was everything for this guy physical? I'm about to get physical on his-

"You've got to be kidding me," Olivia's nasally voice broke through, "You want _that _more than me?"

_Cam, you can't punch a girl. That would make you worse than Markus. _

I wanted to so badly though. But it seemed as if Claire was able stand her own. I have never seen Claire so angry before in my life. It was scary as hell but dang, it was sexy.

"_Excuse me,_" her head snapped to Olivia.

"I'm ten times better," Olivia continued, "Just look at us. Is there really _any _competition? Cam you should be glad I like your ass in the first place! You don't _do _anything. Talk about sexually awkward, I have to wonder if you're gay. Markus- I don't know what happened to you to make you so retarded but even a mentally ill person wouldn't go out with _her. _And Claire- get off your soft assed pedestal and realize that you don't dump sunshine ok? Guys like a _woman _and you're a freaking girl scout! It's _so _obvious you're a virgin. An uptight virgin at that! It's written plain and clear that you haven't ever f-"

The smack was audible and the silence the followed was precious.

Immediately the nasally voice emitted a groan and I finally pieced together what had happened. Claire had just punched Olivia right in the face.

"_Shut the hell up," _she said annoyed, "I swear I've listened to your clogged up voice for _too long_. I. Can't. Take. It. Anymore! Just SHUT THE HELL UP."

With a flustered sigh she threw her hands up and stomped out of the bathroom. After saluting Marcus with my longest finger, I raced out after her. As I ran to try and catch up with Claire, I couldn't help the childish words from dancing across in my head.

_Ding dong, the witch is dead_


	18. Chapter 17: Girlfriend

**Chapter 17: Girlfriend**

"_I know it's not a secret." _

_~Avril Lavigne _

**Derrick's POV **

"Massie," I said finally. We were both in the small plane, positioned next to each other. I delicately plucked the ear bud out of her ear, wincing at the sharp glare she gave me. The next words were my least favorite and least used words. "We need to talk."

"About what," she turned to me.

_Oh, just that not only did I almost take you completely last night while we were drunk, but also the fact that you're legally my wife. _

"Um, I don't know, the fact that we are married."

"Oh really," she raised her left hand that had the smiley face ring on it- when did I get that? "I hadn't noticed."

"Don't look at me like that," I argued, "You were drunk too."

"You _had _to insist we go to Vegas and do _shots? _You know how lightweight we are!"

"But I didn't think we were stupid enough to get married,"

"Relax, we'll just…get an annulment," she sighed and put down her iPod. "Not that hard."

"How long do we have to be together until that?"I asked.

"Jeez _Derry _are you so eager to detach yourself from me?" she snapped.

What the hell bit her this morning? I didn't know about her but I had a great time last night...not to mention that was probably the hottest session I'd ever had with Massie...or ever had, period.

We didn't even have to sleep together just to feel so amazing. So what was wrong with her now?

"What's wrong with you," I tried to read her gaze, "Why are you acting like this?"

"You honestly don't remember do you?" Massie's cold glare switched to a softer impassive one, "Never mind, ok?" she placed the ear bud back in and turned towards the window. I plucked it back out again, receiving another glare that made me twitch.

"Would you just talk to me?"Again, words you normally wouldn't hear me say. The next ones shocked even Massie, "I'm just trying to understand what's going on with you."

Her eyebrow rose, "Really."

"Really," I sighed. Cam was rubbing off on me. I'd have to punch him when I got home.

"What are we Derrick?" Massie asked, "I mean are we girlfriend and boyfriend, or am I a play thing or what?"

"Aren't we doing this all backwards? I mean, technically we're husband and wife," I grinned cheekily. Thankfully that got her to smile, though I did earn a slap with the magazine she was reading.

"I'm serious," she whined.

_I am too. _

"Last night...we did some stuff," she said, "And lately we've been testing my boundaries, but I want to know how you feel about me."

"I don't really know. Don't I get time to think about this?" I asked.

Her expression was unknown, almost hurt as looked at me. What had I done this time?

"Massie-"

"I think that answered my question," she said softly and placed the ear bud back in. This time I didn't take it back out because she obviously didn't want to talk to me. I knew she didn't want me to see, but I saw the tear that escaped down her cheek and felt like the biggest jackass ever. I had just made my wife cry.

**The Sorority**

**Jamie's POV**

"Did you have fun at the beach today?" I asked Keegan in the car. This was it. We weren't in a bed, and _both _of his hands were on the wheel so we couldn't possibly have any distractions. I was going to pop the 'g,' word.

"Yah, I did," Keegan smiled at me and my heart flopped. Although it had only been around three months, I had fallen in love with him. "Might I say that you looked absolutely hot in that bathing suit?"

"Really," I giggled, "I bet the other boys were jealous they weren't getting some of this."

"They can't get any of you," he raised an eyebrow. "because I'm getting some of you."

"You see," I lead mischievously, "That would work if I was actually _yours. _I can go with who I want."

His head snapped to me, "What do you mean, you are mine."

"For me to be yours, and _only _yours, I'd have to be your girlfriend. Seeing as I'm not, I can play the fields and someone else can get some of this." I smirked and slapped my behind. It was hard since I was sitting down, but somehow I managed. His eyes widened as he stared at my behind. Ugh, _boys. _Suddenly we were pulled over and his hands were gripping me as he kissed me.

I backed up, "I don't think so," I said, "You can't have what's not yours anymore."

He stared deep into my eyes, "Jamie, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Not just because you want my body. Do you actually want _me?" _

"Yes, I want you," he sighed, "I… love you."

I think if I had been smiling any wider, my face would have split, "Really?"

"Yah," he said, "Now can I _please _get some."

"I love you too," I giggled, crawling over onto his side of the car, "Now you can get some."

**Claire's POV**

"I'm sorry for punching your girlfriend," I groaned as Cam lay down next to me on the sand. The others had left, leaving us Cam's car. Markus had texted me saying he'd get a taxi with Olivia. I'd have to make it up to him.

"You didn't punch my girlfriend," Cam told me. I rolled over to face him, my eyebrow raised. "I recall that I broke up with her before you punched her. Therefore you punched my ex-girlfriend, something that I don't mind."

I laughed, Cam was too sweet, "Really, but I punched her all the same. You cared about her."

Cam sighed, "Maybe in the beginning but towards the end of our relationship, she was catty and I saw a new side of her. On top of that she was disrespectful to you, something I don't take lightly."

My cheeks reddened but I hoped he couldn't see it in this darkness. Only the parking lot lights shone, creating an eerie darkness. The sudden sounds or movements in the dark caused my pulse to quicken, but Cam's presence made me feel protected. Despite us being in California, it was surprisingly cold in the nights breeze, especially with my wet hair and lack of clothing. I shivered as the wind blew and rubbed at my arm.

"You cold?" Cam asked.

"A bit," I admitted.

"Well what are you waiting for? Come over here," he laughed.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I didn't want him to think that I was hinting at hitting on him.

"If you're uncomfortable," he started.

"Oh, no," I said almost too fast and crawled up closer to him, "I just didn't know how you would feel-"

His warm, bare arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him. I pressed my ear to the smooth skin on his chest. The plane skin there was hot and welcoming, instantly relaxing the muscles of my face.

"You know when I was younger and I would get nightmares, I would sleep with my dad and listen to his heart beat."

"I don't remind you of your dad do I because-"

"No," I laughed and then mumbled more to myself, "This would be highly awkward if I thought of you as my dad."

"Did you say something?" he asked.

"Oh no," I giggled.

"You're a little too happy for someone who just found their boyfriend cheating," he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh hush," I rolled my eyes and snuggled into his side. "Markus and I were ending soon- this just hurried the process."

_Lub dub...Lub dub...Lub dub… _I placed my fingers at his stomach and tapped out the beat of his heart absentmindedly. _Lub dub, lub dub, lub dub..._

"Are you ok? Your heart's beating pretty fast,"

"Yah, yah," Cam grumbled.

This was the closest I had been to Cam if forever and I was in pure bliss absorbing everything I could. I ran my nose back and forth across the tan plain taking in the seawater and dull Dior smell.

Without thinking I brushed my lips back and forth. I felt Cam breathe in sharply. I didn't know if it was consciously or not, but he held me tighter to him.

It wasn't as if I was complaining.

I parted my lips and pressed a soft kiss on his chest. His minty breath washed across my face as he let out his breath. My lips tingled as I placed kisses over his skin. Soon I was trailing down, letting my tongue make an appearance now and then to feel his skin and taste the salty residue of the ocean. As my teeth hit the waistline of his pants he jerked upright.

Slightly whiplashed I shook my head, "I-I'm so sorry-"

"Your boyfriend just cheated on you," Cam started,

"I know, I know," I put my head in my hands.

"Claire," he took my face in his hands gently and forced me to look at him, "You probably don't know what you're feeling... and you probably want comfort- we can't do this right now. You're not emotionally...stable."

I bit back the yell I wanted to emit at these words. Emotionally unstable! Yes, I was unstable! I was freaking turned on, that's where my instability was coming from.

"You're...right," I sighed, "I'm sorry that was so out of place."

"Stop apologizing," he laughed and then even in the dim lighting I could tell how his face reddened, "I enjoyed it. But it's not what we need right now. Give it time after the breakup and see how you feel about anyone else ok?"

I notice how he didn't say, 'how you feel about _me.'_ I didn't want him to think I did it because he was just a boy who was there. I did it because _he _was the boy who was there.

"Come on," he helped me up, "It's really late, I should get you to your bed."

_Or yours, _

"Yah," I sighed and walked beside him towards the car, "It's been a long day anyways."


	19. Chapter 18: Island Part I

**Chapter 18: Island Part I**

"_Let's sail away. Find our country. Let's push our lives aside."_

_~The Starting Line_

**Dylan POV **

"We're going to Grenada!" Jamie exclaimed. We had gone to the beach three days ago and ever since she's been hinting at going to a _real island _and experiencing the island fever. I really didn't care as long as I could show off my new swimsuit body. Although I thought I could manage two more pounds, since my thighs were a bit chunky, but other than that I would be able to walk down the beach with _some _dignity.

"Um no, we're _nawt_," Massie countered, "I just came back from Vegas, there is no way I'm getting on another plane for a while."

"Why do you want to go to _Grenada?_" Kristen's eyes widened, "You know that's an approximately 28 hour trip?"

We all turned to her. Why Kristen knew these things, I'd never know.

"How do you know-"

"Kuh-laire, really, do you _want _to know," Alicia interrupted. "_Yo no le puedo creer." _

"What did she say?" I asked.

"She said she couldn't believe it," Massie said.

We all turned to her, mixtures of disbelief and confusion on their faces.

"_What? _I took Spanish in college," she grumbled and turned back to her nails. How many times a day did she do that?

I sucked in some of my soda and let out long burp. I would be polite, but what's the use? Especially since I have basically no food in my body the air gets stored, and I get a badass stomach ache. I'd not drink the soda but since I've been getting dizzy the sugar and caffeine has been helping.

It had been getting worse; now I couldn't eat without throwing up. I was no longer trying, it was just happening. Besides the few 'too thin' comments I'd get now and then, nobody seemed to catch on. I was happy, I didn't need them gyrating on my back about something that wasn't their business. The only person who seemed to be noticing was Kemp. All of a sudden he was kissing me and hugging me like I was actually a girl. I couldn't help but think it was because of my new figure.

"Nice one," Kemp came in and pounded fists with me.

"What are you all talking about," Derrick asked as he walked in. I expected him to walk over and be Massie's lap dog but instead he sat on floor by her feet. Weird... though Keegan did as he always does and basically groped Jamie in front of everyone- douche.

Kristen and Chris were lovey-dovey and Cam and Claire were just on two completely different seats...sexual tension anyone?

"Jamie wants to go to Grenada," I filled him in.

"Dude, we _just _came back from Vegas," Derrick complained.

"It's not our faults if you guys were carefree and got drunk, but _some _of us might want to go on a vacation," Jamie hushed him.

"We live in Rancho Santa Fe, California and have more money than we know what to do with, our whole life is a vacation," Chris filled in.

"Ok, ok, the truth is," Jamie started, "My uncle lives in Grenada, and...he keeps bothering me about visiting and I've never wanted to do it so I haven't but he's threatening he'll stop giving me money if I don't come so if you would _please _come with me I'd love you forever. I mean it's not like you'd have to pay for anything all I want is your company and you might even have a good time if you try so please, please, please and I'll never ask you for anything again..."

The boy's faces mixed in confusion as they speculated Jamie,

"How is it possible for them to speak so fast-"Josh started.

"Dude, don't ask that before she does it again," Kemp's eyes widened in order.

"Do you think they hear what they're saying or does it sound like a humming in their ears," Cam asked awed.

"Sounds like humming to me," Derrick snorted. Chris was about to high five him when Kristen glared at the two. Immediately Chris retracted his hand.

"_Whoosh,_" Keegan said.

"What the hell was that," Jamie said.

"That was the sound of Chris being whipped," Keegan replied. Everyone burst out laughing. Well, everyone except for Chris.

"Ok, ok, I'm serious. Will you guys come with me? We won't have to pay for anything. I just need your company or I will go crazy."

"I'm game," I announced.

"Yah, I guess," Claire said. Everyone agreed afterwards.

"When do we leave," Kristen asked.

"Um, 3am tomorrow morning?" Jamie bit at her nail.

Claire groaned, "Have you _seen _Massie in the early morning?"

"_Dragon," _Alicia coughed. We giggled but stopped when Massie shot us death glares. I wasn't to be controlled, but man, when Massie wanted to be scary she really could be.

"I'm just a bit cranky," Massie argued.

"_Liar," _Alicia coughed again.

"Leesh, do you need some cough medicine? There's some in the medicine cabinet," Massie quipped.

"I'm good," Alicia glared. I had a flash back of their Alpha Beta days.

"Both of you, cut it out," Jamie intervened, "It's 5 o'clock, We're waking up at eleven and leaving at twelve, we need to be there two hours before."

"EVERYONE LEAVE," Massie commanded, "I need no distractions! I have to pack _and _sleep!"

"Oh man," Alicia groaned, "It's alive.

"LEAVE!"

"Jamie," I turned to her, "This is your entire fault. Now she's getting all hyped cuz of your stupid island."

"Well," she hugged me and then gave me her sweetest smile. "At least we can visit a _real island._"

I groaned and headed up the stairs, "Bite me."

**Derrick's POV **

Tip. Don't wake Massie up from sleeping.

"_Stop whining and don't be such a twat," _Cam smirked.

"She flipping punched me in the nose," I groaned, "How is that being a-"

"If anyone else speaks I'll castrate them," Massie barked. We were all in silence in the car on the way to our guest house. We had just landed in Grenada and not to sound like a Kristen but the view really was exquisite. Palm trees, oceans, mountains... I mean you saw all of this in California, but here it just seemed...Caribbean.

"There's nothing wrong with your nose, suck it up," Alicia said, and then smirked "Massie, I don't have balls you can't castrate me."

"Watch me," Massie lunged but the seatbelt locked into place. Thank God for safety; I doubt the car dudes weren't thinking the belt would help in _this _way.

"Are you ok Derrick," Claire's cool fingers removed my hands from my face and touched tenderly at my nose. Claire was too sweet for her own good; it was times like these that I loved her even more. Of course, only like a sister. Claire was way too 'Miss Muphet' for my liking. "It's not even swollen. You'll be fine, here," she took an icepack from the limo freezer, "Ice it."

"Who called Mother Theresa," Kristen laughed.

"Mother Theresa?" Cam's eyes widened, "You should have seen that left hook she gave Olivia. In the words of Massie, 'ah-mazing'."

Claire's face flushed red as we stared at her. _Claire? _I didn't think she even knew how to whack a mosquito let alone thump Duh-livia.

"Right on Claire," Jamie and Dylan high fived her, though Claire looked awkward returning it.

"Claire never does stuff like that," Kristen commented, "What did Olivia do?"

"The usual thing, she was just being herself." Claire shrugged.

"A whore,"

"A skank,"

"A tramp,"

"A prostitute,"

"A-"

"Guys," Claire shut her ears at the sound of all the names that had come simultaneously, "I meant be annoying. Jeez, I don't understand how you can just call her that! Doesn't it bother you?"

Everyone, except for Massie whose eyes were shut replied with a no.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said she was annoying...that was mean of me. I mean, she was annoying me, but that wasn't a reason to punch her was it? Oh God, I'm a horrible person," Claire started.

"Shut up Claire," Massie grumbled. "Puh-lease can we go to the rooms and SLEEP?"

I suddenly feared sharing a room with Massie.

**Claire's POV**

It was highly and utterly awkward as I entered the room with Cam. Especially since there was only one king sized bed; I didn't have a problem, but I didn't know if Cam would have a problem.

"I can sleep on the couch," Cam offered nicely.

"That's ridiculous. You can just sleep with me," My face suddenly burned red as did Cam's, "I mean...lie with me- what I meant to say was-"  
Cam's face was tomato red, "I-I get it Claire. Thanks."

"Yah, so, I'm going to take a nap now."

"If you're going to change I can leave-"

"No it's ok, I normally sleep in a shirt and underwear, but you didn't need to know that, and I guess I shouldn't sleep in underwear with you. Not that I think you're going to do anything to me because I don't think you're like a rapist or something and I have no idea why I'm still talking so I'm going to shut up now." I climbed under the covers and hid my face so he wouldn't see the embarrassment fully evident.

"Claire," I felt his weight on the bed next to me and him tug down the blanket gently, "Do whatever you want. I'm fine as long as you're comfortable."

"So do you mind if I take off my pants?" I ignored the awkwardness of the question, "And if I'm making a complete ass out of myself?"

"You're not. Trust me, I do it on a daily bases, I would know," he laughed. "I think I'm going to take a nap too."

I tugged down my jeans making sure my underwear didn't slip off (how embarrassing would that be?) and fixed my hair. I felt the warm island breeze slip through our window and caress the exposed slip of skin at my hips. As I turned to climb into the bed I noticed Cam was staring at me. I felt self conscious.

"What?"I said wiping my face, "Is there something on me."

His face was red again, "Uh, um, no. I mean- yes, you have clothes on you but not anything like extra..."

"Are you ok?" I laughed and slipped under the covers. He nodded and stood there watching me as I snuggled into the blankets. "Well, are you coming?" I held open the blanket for him to crawl in and he came. Without thinking I scooted closer to him until our chests touched and my leg was over lapping his hip.

"Do you mind," I looked up at him. "You're very comfy."

"Not at all," he stuttered, "Thank you."

Feeling greedy I moved a bit closer until we were perfectly vertical against each other. It was as if we were made to fill each others' shape.

It felt wonderful.

Apparently it felt _really _wonderful to Cam.

"Why Cam, I'm flattered," I giggled. If I thought his face was red before, I was wrong. Crayola couldn't even buy this shade off of Cam because it was _priceless_.

"God, why?" He groaned. "Claire I'm so sorry, you must think I'm some sort of douche bag."

"I don't even know what a douche bag is," I laughed, "It's ok. You can't control it."

"Are you going to be...um, uncomfortable?" he asked.

I snuggled closer to his chest and closed my eyes, ignoring the tingling in my stomach. "Just go to sleep Cam. We'll forget this by the time we wake up."

He was silent as I drifted off into sleep but not before I heard, "I sure as hell hope so."

**Massie's POV**

"You know, eventually you're going to have to talk to me,"

Derrick climbed into the bed next to me. His chin rested on my shoulder as I faced away from him. I didn't feel like talking.

"What part of 'I want to sleep' do you not get?" I snapped.

"Don't try and play this off as tiredness, you've been acting like this ever since Vegas. What's wrong with you?"

"Acting like what...a bitch," I turned to him, "Look Derrick, I'm tired ok? I'm just tired of everything."

"I didn't say that," Derrick sighed.

"No but I know I'm being one," I rolled away from him, "I don't feel like talking now."

"You'll never feel like talking," he groaned trying to put his arm around me. "What are you tired of?"

"I'm not talking about this now," I said louder and pulled away from him. Now I'm not even in the mood to sleep. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Then, a strong hand clasped around my wrist.

It' was in that moment that all the memories I thought I'd been cured of come flooding back. Just from that simple action, I was back where I was over three months ago. I was seeing a different person; I was feeling a different hand. There were different brown eyes speculating me, except that they were slanted, and glimmered with a controlling spark not with a playful one.

"Please don't hurt me," I pleaded. Maybe if he saw how scared I was he'd let me go. No, it only seemed to turn him on more. "Please, d-don't hurt me."

"Massie," his taunting voice whispered. "Massie, Massie, Massie."

"Massie," the new voice said, "Massie."

"Derrick," I cried, "Help me."

"I'm right here Massie," he said gently, "I'm not going to hurt you."

The other mans face lingered. He reached for me,

"Oh God," I bawled, "Derrick!"

"Massie," he said urgently, "It's not real. You're here with me, in Grenada. Nothing's happening to you. You're safe. He can't get you anymore Massie. I promise I won't let him get you."

I saw Derrick. His brown eyes, his blonde hair- not the brown hair and brown eyes that had tortured me,

"It was so real," I sobbed and rushed to the bathroom. Before Derrick could come with me I slammed the door and locked it. I didn't want his comfort, he was only sorry for me. He didn't love me, and since he didn't love me there was nothing to stop him from leaving me. So I'd better get used to being alone.

**Dylan's POV**

I get to share a room with Kemp. I could almost kiss Jamie right now. Though I couldn't decipher the look on Kemps face; did he have a problem with this?

"If you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me I can always sleep on the couch," I said bitterly.

Kemp finally looked up at me, he actually stuttered when he talked, "Uh no, I'm good."

"Good." I was so tired of this. I wanted him to kiss me; I wanted him to want me!

Trying to be bold I strode over to his side of the bed and tackled him with my lips. I was so surprised when he actually responded.

I felt his hands on my hips, feeling way too large compared to my bony sides. His callous thumbs rubbed at my skin as his soft lips sandwiched mine. All I wanted is more. I'd been waiting so long to get this far. I wanted to take everything out of it.

His cool tongue danced with mine and I gently pushed him so that we toppled onto the bed. I heard his groan as I wrap my legs around his back. Thinking that it was ok, I start to peel up his shirt.

"Can we…not undress," Kemp pulled away.

_What the hell?_

"What the f-" I started to say, but then I heard commotion next door. "Do you hear screaming?"

"Yah," Kemp fixed his shirt and pulled me out the room to go and see what the commotion was.

**Cam's POV**

"Kill it, kill it, kill it, kill it!" Claire screamed.

"I'm trying," I yelled. More like I'm trying not to focus on your wondrous jugs as they bounce up and down while you hop on the bed.

Focus.

She screamed. "It's right next to your foot!"

"Where," I yelled and hopped onto the bed with her. Honest to God, I hate spiders.

"Get off the bed and go kill it!" she pushed me.

"Why do I have to," I complained, "I hate spiders."

"You're the man, you do it," Claire huffed.

"Way to stand for feminism Claire," I glared at her. "You kill it."

"Cam Fisher, get off the bed and go kill it," she growled at me.

"No, there is no flipping way I am getting near that thing! It's huge."

"Don't be such a twat!" She yelled. I pushed her playfully,

"Claire Lyons, watch your mouth. You're spending way too much time with Derrick."

"Look the spiders on your Blackberry," she pointed to my phone.

Not my baby.

I ran and was about to massacre the being when I realized it was not in fact on my phone.

"Ha! You're off the bed. Now kill it." She commanded. "Oh my goodness! It's on your shoulder."

"Very funny Claire, I'm not falling for it this-" I looked on my shirt and saw the hairiest, big ass spider I have ever seen. That's saying something because I don't swear. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"What the hell is going on in here," Dylan burst through the door. Taking in her surroundings and looking quite ticked off she marched over to me and squashed the spider. Then she left.

"On my shirt? Really?" I whined. I had really liked this shirt, and now there are spider guts on it.

"It's ok," Claire giggled and leaped over to my side. I had to bite my lip to restrain myself when her small fingers curled under the hem of my shirt and lifted it above my head. "We'll just have to take this off and wash it."

Her nails raked across my abdomen as she pulled it up and over. I couldn't help myself I had to feel her. Some part of her, any part of her. My hands discreetly brushed across her thighs. I loved the way she wore t-shirts to bed and the way she did her adorable stretch before she slept. I loved the way that she was completely fine when I... um, got excited under the sheets.

I didn't know if it was me or not, but as my finger tips fluttered underneath the curve of her behind, her hips shifted forward. Just like I had on the beach, I lost control. My fingers spread across the back of her thighs as my palms flattened against her bare, warm skin. My lips pressed to the side of her face, her eyes, then her nose…

"Claire," I threw my head back as she placed tiny open mouthed kisses around my neck. I held her closer to me.

"Cam," she stuttered, "I-"

"Claire," Massie's voice sounded from outside the door. The first thing I felt was anger, until I realized the tone of her voice and there was something I'd never heard present; desperation.

"I need to talk to you."


	20. Chapter 19: Island Part II

**Chapter 19: Island Part II**

"_It seems like we can never catch a break…" _

_~The Starting Line _

**Claire's POV**

"Claire," Cam asked as soon as we had come back from walking around the island house. I could still feel the painful crescent scars in my hand from my clenched fists. I felt as if I was going to spontaneously combust, shattering into a million, tiny, Claire pieces. "Are you angry at me...I didn't mean to push you like that earlier."

"I'm not angry at you," I tried to say as calmly as I could, Massie's words still burned my ears.

_Claire, I was raped._

I realized I must have been so unpleasant to Cam these past few hours. "Trust me please, I'm not."

He sighed, relieved, "Why are you angry?"

_Don't tell anyone, you can't Claire. Please, I'm begging you. _

"I can't- I just need time to cool down. I can't tell you right now."

"You can tell me anything, I'm here for you," his long arms wrapped around my body and pulled me to him in a hug. As I was about to hug him back, my phone rang. I noticed the caller ID.

"Mom," I sighed into the phone.

"You're damn selfish you know that?" I heard Todd bark into the phone.

"Todd," I gasped, "Where's mom."

"Like you really give a shit," he yelled, "Do you want to know where our mother is? Our mother is upstairs locked in her room suffering from her fifth hangover this week and screaming your name out. Do you know why? Because she thinks you're dead. She hasn't seen you in so long she thinks you're dead!"

"I-"

"No," he cut me off, "Don't pretend like you're sorry. If you were sorry you'd visit once in a while. No one's asking you to live here Claire- I don't even do that, but the least you could do is see us once in a while. You don't even call her. You're a coward Claire. You run from all your problems- just like Dad used to-"

"Shut up!" I screamed, "You ungrateful bastard! You don't realize how it was. I took care of Mom all those nights- I held her while she cried. You never had to hear her say she wished it wasn't him and to hear her say she hated you. You think all of this happened after the accident? The shit hit the fan way before Todd- but we always turned it in the different direction so you wouldn't get the mess. But guess what? I took it all Todd. So next time you want to say I'm damn selfish, shut the hell up and keep it to yourself."

I snapped the phone shut and collapsed to the ground, keeping my head positioned between my knees I sucked in deep breaths. I'm _not _going to cry.

"Claire," Cam's voice pulled me from the ball of thoughts that had been rolling around in my head. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"I can't Cam. Not right now. I just can't."

He sighed and pulled me into his arms, cradling me as I steadied my breathing.

"Have you ever truly hated yourself?"I asked.

He seemed at conflict whether to tell me. "Yes," he finally answered, "10 years ago."

"Why?"

"I did something that I regret doing," he admitted.

I didn't want to pry so I didn't ask. Instead I asked something else, "Have you ever forgiven yourself?"

"No... I don't think I can until I do something..." he shook his head and turned to me. I saw the most painful expression in his deep green and blue eyes. Plain regret and longing resided there, and I wanted to do anything to take it away. "Claire I-"

"Guys," Chris pounded on the door, "Come on, we're going out to dinner."

"Alright, we're coming," I called. "What were you going to say Cam?"

He smiled sadly and shook his head, "Nothing, we should go and eat." Without further protest I grabbed his hand and we headed out to dinner.

**Kristen's POV **

I'd meant to go jogging on the beach. I mean, that's what my intentions were. It's not like I was trying to spy on Jamie and her Uncle, but I couldn't pass up this scene.

Okay, so I love gossip. Sue me.

"You can't control who I let into my life," Jamie whisper-yelled. "I love Keegan."

"I don't like him Jamie Lee," he answered back at the same volume, "there's something wrong with him. I don't like the way he looks at you."

"He looks at me like he loves me," she snapped.

"He looks at you like he _wants _you," he countered.

"There's nothing wrong with that! He's supposed to want me I'm his girlfriend."

"Are you his only girlfriend?"

"Why the hell wouldn't I be" she asked.

"I didn't want to tell you before but I heard him calling a person on the phone 'sweetie' and 'lovely' and stuff."

"He has a sister," she defended, "He calls her pet names. Something I think is awfully cute. Get out of my business."

"I'm just worried about you Jamie Lee," he sighed. Even I could hear the distress of the old man. "I just want what's best for you."

I saw her hug him, "Keegan is best for me."

The fight seeming to have broiled over, the juice of the scene dried up. I escaped around the corner to reach the beach, feeling relief once the waves of sand gave way beneath my feet. I had a nagging feeling about Keegan too but Jamie knew him better than I did, so she should be the judge. I'm glad everyone approved of Chris; that would make the news about him and me moving in together that much easier.

**Josh's POV**

"Are you sure you don't mind me hanging with the guys querida?" I whispered into Alicia's ear. She shrugged me off and nodded. I knew she had wanted to hit the local jewelry stands, but the guys were going to play the Wii out back and that wasn't something I wanted to miss. Cam might seem sweet- but he was always competitive at video games, something I would not pass up.

"Honey," she tugged back on my hand. "What do you think about Keegan?"

The question threw me off, "Keegan?"

"Yes, Keegan," she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Do you want to answer or just stand there?"

I sighed and pushed my hands further in my pockets. I didn't like when Alicia got testy...it scared me.

"I don't know, he's a cool guy," I shrugged.

"I'm worried about Jamie and him," she said.

"It's their business babes, don't get into it." I warned her.

"_Uno, _don't tell me what to do, _dos, _when it has to do with a punk messing with my friend it is my business."

I took a step back in case she was going to slap me- not something I wanted right now.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "I didn't think there was anything up."

She closed in the space I had created, and used her doe eyes against me. This was the thing about Alicia- she could act like a bitch all she wanted but just from looking in her warm, dark eyes I knew she cared.

"Do me a favor, _por favor?" _She said softly, "Try and talk with him. See where he's going with the relationship? I don't want Jamie to get hurt."

After my short silent debate, I finally sighed, "Ok, ok querida. Now can I go?"

"Bien," she kissed me quickly, "Bye."

**The Sorority**

"YOU CHEATED," Cam jumped up and down on the couch pointing at Chris. "YOU DISTRACTED ME."

"Or maybe you just really suck," Derrick laughed. "I can't wait to tell Claire."

I saw Cam's face reddened. Ha, Cam was so gullible- poor guy, completely whipped and wasn't even getting any; such a softy.

"Man, really, so gullible." Kemp chuckled as he sipped on a beer.

"Hey Cam," Chris reached over to Cam's face and positioned his thumb in between the split of his pointer and middle finger, "Got your nose."

Cam then smiled and did the same thing except reached over from Chris's crotch. "Hey Chris, got your dick."

The whole room burst out into a raucous laughter...well everyone except Chris; funny how it was always Chris who wasn't laughing.

"Shut up," he mumbled, "Let's play some pool."

We all headed to the pool vicinity and grabbed sticks. "D, you break," Cam called.

I trailed over to the beer cooler and noticed that Keegan was there. We were going to play pool in teams so it would be a while until it was Keegan and mine's turn. Now was the perfect opportunity.

"So, Alicia was telling me you and Jamie are getting pretty serious," I hinted, "Congratulations man."

Keegan almost choked on his drink, "Oh? She did?"

"Well, I mean you guys as have been together for a few months...and now you're girlfriend and boyfriend. Seems pretty serious to me,"

"I guess we are," he shrugged and then nudged me, "But man is she hot."

I nodded and headed off the other guys. I thought Keegan was a cool guy and all, but the way he referred to Jamie was giving me the same suspicions as Alicia. I didn't think it was my business though. My main issue was whether or not I was going to tell Alicia what he had said.

**Massie POV**

It had been a total of three days since I'd truly spoken to Derrick. At first it had just been me rerouting so that I could ignore him, but after the first day, he just avoided me like the plague.

The weird thing that it wasn't only us two that had tension, it was like, everyone else as well. There was a rift between Jamie and her Uncle, Cam and Claire were a little _too _polite and Dylan was flat out being bitchy to Kemp. The only seemingly perfect people were Josh and Alicia and Chris and Kristen.

The only benefit from this was that although we were getting further from the guys, us girls were growing closer together. We had kind of been catching up seeing as we had completely neglected each other for our jobs and our guys. But now, that we were all positioned at the same lunch table and trying to make the most of our last day here, everything was just...awkward.

"I can't take this anymore," Jamie exclaimed, "What the hell is wrong with all of us? We need to have fun."

"I've been having fun," Claire interjected.

"I meant us, as in _all of us together. _So little Miss Muphet, that would involve you and Cam being in the same room," she cruelly stated. Both Cam and Claire's faces' turned bright red.

Claire cleared her throat, "So what were you planning?"

"Tonight," she began, "We're going to hang out at my uncle's band practice... might seem boring but I'm promising you it'll be tons of fun. Then afterwards- a bonfire."

"Bonfire?" Derrick raised his eyebrow, "With who?"

"Just the twelve of us," she smiled, "But drinks will be included."

"I'm in," Josh said quickly. Alicia laughed and nodded along with him. It was then decided that we would try and have the most fun tonight and put aside any differences that had accumulated. Damn, that's so much easier said than done.


	21. Chapter 20: Island Part III

**Chapter 20: Island Part III**

"_But we're in love…and that should be just fine." _

_~The Starting Line _

**Claire's POV **

It was Massie's idea to wear matching wraps and white spaghetti strap tops. I wore a blue wrap with sea shells swinging from the fringes and just a bare thong underneath. She had insisted that we should be talented enough to not flash anybody; as well as if we did they'd think we were unbearably sexy.

I had yet to agree.

I think she got a little carried away though because she even got us thongs in the matching colors of our wraps and made us where our hair down. Weirdly her firm manner wasn't controlling but just demanding in a friendly way. I could tell at certain parts she was worried about how she came across, but in the end we all were full of giggles after getting ready.

Might I add that we all did in fact look incredibly sexy? I could tell by the look on the guys faces as we met them outside. I slid into the limo after Cam and the wrap scooted up my thighs. I saw Cam staring at my legs.

"A-are you wearing anything under that?" he asked.

Although my cheeks flared I managed to take Massie's advice and try to be bold. I giggled, "Wouldn't you like to know..."

"Dang, you look hot," Keegan slapped Jamie's behind and she giggled helplessly.

"Why thank you baby," she pecked his lips.

"Get a room," Derrick groaned.

"I think we should," Massie laughed and slapped Derricks arm. A shocked expression crossed his face. I couldn't blame him- he and Massie had been on rough terms.

I looked down to see Cam's hands clenched in fists. Was he angry at me? What was wrong with him? I placed one of my hands on top of his and uncurled the fists, twisting my fingers in his.

"Relax," I whispered into his ear, "We're going to have fun."

His large palm squeezed against mine as he nodded.

**Massie's POV **

We had been here for twenty minutes and all we had done was listen to the first few songs and be total social idiots. It was only the twelve of us plus the five band members. It's not as if the songs weren't good, but I think we were all over thinking this. Jamie looked absolutely tortured that we weren't having fun.

Suddenly a tune struck up that I knew I had to dance to.

_Rise up this morning...smiled with the rising son _

"Claire, come on, dance with me," I tugged at her hand. Her eyes reached her forehead.

"Do I have to?"

I didn't wait for answer, instead I pulled her to the area in front of the patio where the band was playing and began swaying my hips to the calming music.

_Don't worry...about a thing... _

"Cuz every little thing," Claire giggled.

"Is gunna be alright," we sang together.

It was like at that moment, I decided to let it go. Just for tonight under the island tree's and feeling the warm air yet cooling winds blow- I would be Massie.

**Derrick's POV **

I was in love with Massie Block. I was fully, whipped and head over heels in love with her and I didn't know what to do about it.

As I watched her sway, care free to the music not only did I find her incredibly sexy, but I found her incredibly...beautiful.

There was something in the way that she closed her eyes and the small smile displayed on her face. She twirled effortlessly with Claire, barefooted and angelic.

I sounded like Cam!

"Dude," Cam nudged me, "I'm about to go to Claire- go dance with Massie."

"I- I can't." I think for the first time in my life, I stuttered. "I'm in love with her C."

Cam smiled at me.

"What?" I punched his shoulder.

"You finally understand how I feel," he shook her head, "D, I'm not waiting anymore. I'm getting Claire- and you deserve Massie. It's been 10 years D. I'm ready- I know you are too."

I looked at Cam's face and I saw pure determination. He was serious. No more pussying around- he was going to get Claire. I'm past ready to get Massie...the only thing was if she would want me too?

**Claire's POV**

"It's called twelve stacks. Well, in our case, the number depends on how many people there are playing." Jamie smiled.

We were all positioned in a semi circle, the small fire burning to my right. and a wooden, circular table in the center of us. On top of the table, or more like tree stump, there was a bottle of red liquor, twelve pencils, one tack, twelve shredded pieces of paper and twelve shot glasses.

"Ok," Jamie said once we all sat down, "This is how the game goes. Half of us will write out shallow questions and half will write out deep questions. Then we go around the table removing the pieces of paper and everyone will answer each question. It's just a getting to know you game."

"What's with the liquor," Keegan asked.

"You _have _to tell the truth. This is for us to get to know each other. The truth is hard to tell- that's why we have liquor. But you all are making the decision, before you get tipsy, to tell the truth because it's wrong to do it if you're not in your right mind." She told us.

Was this something I was going to do? After all I had stayed away from drinking for this exact reason. But was I ready to out my truth?

"I'm game," I found myself saying. The others soon followed suit.

"Alright, the liquor is strong so take when you need. It's some weird mix my uncle and his friend's drink- some type of raspberry vodka. Beware," she giggled.

Jamie split us up so that half of us were writing shallow questions and half were writing deep questions. Afterwards we stacked the twelve pieces of paper to the center of the table and began clockwise

Keegan was first. He plucked up a question and read it aloud.

"Favorite color," he smirked, "Red."

We went through the first few questions pretty quickly. My stomach was fluttering; I knew the whole game wouldn't be this easy. This was just the beginning.

We were now on the sixth question,

"What is your pet peeve?" Chris asked and then paused for a few moments, "I hate it when people crack there knuckles. It freaks me out."

"That's mine too," Keegan shuddered, "What about you Jamie?"

"I third that," she laughed, "makes me think that something is breaking."

"I hate it when people click their pens over and over again," Kristen answered.

"You know what I hate?" Josh said, "When girls talk really fast."

Kemp and Cam agreed as well receiving death glares from Claire and Dylan.

"I hate when boys make pompous remarks," Alicia said. "Cough- Josh."

"I hate it when people are hypocrites," Claire put in her two cents before people could get into each other's faces.

"My pet peeve is when people beat around the bush," Dylan glared at Kemp. Kemp shifted uncomfortably.

"I can't stand it when girls cheat," Derrick said. The disgust in his tone was enough to make us silent, "I will not stay with a girl who cheats on me. No discussion- I'll leave."

We all nodded in agreement, "I hate it when people lie." Massie told us.

"Alright guys," Jamie said, "We're entering the difficult round. Participants, please, ready your shot glasses. Any who is brave enough to start, go ahead."

Kristen shrugged and picked one up, "Why was the last time you cried? I lost my job." She said.

Chris squeezed her hand, "Last time I cried was because Kristen told me she loved me." Kristen and him shared a loving glance.

"Saps- last time I cried was when I dislocated my knee," Josh added.

"Same, well a different injury but all the same," Alicia told us.

"Hmm," Jamie thought, "Last time I cried was when I was watching The Notebook."

"I was there," Dylan said, "That was when I cried too."

"I think the last time I cried was when my sister was born," Keegan admitted, "That was a few months ago."

"Technically, I wasn't willingly crying four days ago when Massie punched me in the face, the tears just came," Derrick said.

"Yah Derrick that does count," Cam said "Last time I cried... My dog died, that was around four months ago."

"I honestly can't remember the last time I cried," I told them. "I just haven't in so long." They stared at me a few seconds before Massie broke the awkward silence.

"Last time I cried was yesterday, because I was angry at Derrick,"

Massie grumbled. Derrick's eyes widened and pain was evident in them. He poured himself a shot and downed it. We all followed suit. This was going to be a long game.

**Massie's POV**

"Ok," I grumbled, "Ok- no m-more shots. Someone pick the fifth question. We're almost done."

"I'll read." Kristen gasped after throwing back her shot. "Oh- I, I don't know if I can answer. I can't think straight."

"Read the dang sheet woman," Jamie said a bit too loudly.

"Ok- Something you regret doing," she said. "I- I regret the first time I had sex."

Only two people didn't agree to that.

"I- I've never had sex," Claire flamboyantly stated, "I'm a virgin lovelies."

Cam coughed on his shot, "What about Markus with a K?"

"No, he's what I regret," Claire nodded soberly. Who would have thought the Claire would be the one out of all of us able to handle the most shots? She had taken the same amount I had, around six, and was only slightly tipsy. I'd crossed that line a few shots ago.

Cam held Claire's gaze- he too was not that inebriated. His next words showed how truthful he was, "I regret going out with Olivia."

"You don't regret sleeping with her?" Claire squeaked.

"I didn't- I've never slept with anyone," he declared. A smile broke out on her face. I'm surprised she didn't blush. _Gah- freaking virgins..._

Jamie groaned, "Last question. I already read it, we're going to need another shot."

"No," I said a little bit too loudly, "No more shots."

"I'm telling you," Jamie warned, "It's hell."

"Get on with it before I start puking," Dylan grumbled.

"Ok-" Jamie burped, "This is the deal though. You answer the question and there are no questions asked got it?"

Everyone nodded.

"What is one of your darkest secrets," her voice shook, "I stole from my uncle."

Keegan answered next, "I used to do drugs."

Chris cleared his throat, "I used to see if Kristen was cheating on me."

Kristen suddenly laughed, "Really? That was my secret." Why were they so freaking perfect?

I mean aw-nestly.

"That's abso-fricking-tabulous," Dylan said, "I have self esteem issues."

No questions asked, no questions asked, "I'm scared of being intimate with Dylan because I don't want our relationship to only be physical." Kemp blurted quickly.

We were silent for a while until someone else got the courage.

Josh finally spoke, "I've taken steroids."

I could tell Alicia was trying her hardest not to say anything about what Josh had said. Instead, she offered up her own secret, "Last week I had to take a pregnancy test. I'm not pregnant "

The breath Josh let out was highly noticeable. I couldn't help but be relieved as well. Out of all of us –no offense to her precious self –Alicia wasn't ready for a child.

"I'm scared to have sex," Cam admitted.

Derrick was about to say something though shut his mouth as if dismissing it. "I hit a dog with my car...and cried for almost two hours."

The group looked expectantly at Claire and me. I saw Claire take a shot and I followed suit. Just don't think about it Massie. These are your friends. There are no questions asked. Say it and you can start to let it go.

"I'll go first," I looked at Claire to see if this was ok. She nodded. "I was raped."

I was met by silence. Only the crackling of the fire was heard and the crickets and frogs sounding. Someone's shot glass crashed.

"How the hell can I not say something to that-" Cam yelled. His face was beat red.

"Cam, sit down," Dylan shook her head, but even her voice cracked.

"No! You have got to be kidding me. Are you all dunce –didn't you hear what she just said -,"

"I said no questions asked," Jamie's firm voice silenced him. "Claire, you are the last."

Claire cleared her throat,

"The…uh, last time I cried was when my father left my mother. And the odd thing is that I didn't cry when we got in the accident, or when the doctors announced he was dead. Surprisingly I didn't cry when my mother implied she wished it was me that had died in the crash. A-and she calls me every night, asking me to come home. The worst is that I didn't cry when I left to come to California, even though I left on the day of my father's funeral- and as some of you are crying now...I still can't cry, because I'm still angry with my father...and I hate myself for it."

"Ok- ok, we're -it's done," my voice was hoarse through my tears. "I think- I think I need to go back to my room."

**The Sorority**

"Massie," I heard Derrick close the door behind him. We all had pretty much sobered the hell up. Depressing things could do that to you. "I know you're in here." He stepped from around the hallway and strode over to the bed.

I took my head from my hands, "Have you ever felt lost?"

Derrick shook his head, "Not anymore."

He climbed on the bed and sat cross legged in front of me. I positioned myself to be on my knees.

"Not anymore?" confusion was etched in my voice. "Were you recently confused-"

"Massie I love you," Derrick silenced me. "You know I have such a hard time saying what I mean but this is the one time I know at least three words I have to say. I love you. I've never been surer than I am now."

"Derrick-"

"Wait," he put his finger to my lips, "I'm on a roll."

"I want to be your safety. I want you to feel safe when you're with me and never have to doubt. I want to be the last one you think about as your eyes cross and you deny falling asleep. I want to be able to call you Nana and know you're mine...and do all those gushy fluff couples do. _I _want to be the one Massie. Now you can say something."

I couldn't. The only thought that was racing through my head was, _finally. _

"Any moment would be fine."

I punched his shoulder, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you? Ugh." I hit him again. "Ugh!"

"I tell you I love you and you punch me? Thanks." He laughs nervously. "So what do you think?"

"I love you, you ignoramus, immature, oblivious ah-bominably cute fool," I almost shouted in exasperation. "What the hell else did you think?"

"So...I can kiss you now?" He hedged at.

"You're asking," I raised a brow.

"The other day..."

"Just be careful with me," I smiled small, "kiss me you fool."

His warm lips molded to mine and a bubbling feeling tingled beneath my skin. I felt the slow, warm pressure and passion boiling from my toes to my head.

I was urgent though- it had _way_ been too long since I'd last had my fill of Derrick. I pulled his bottom lip between my lips and began sucking contentedly.

"Uh, Massie," he groaned and gently pushed me from climbing onto his lap. "We need to stop soon."

I moved his hands aside and growled in his ear, "I'll tell you when to stop."

His body quivered beneath mine as I closed the distance between us.

I took his bottom lip and continued with the tasting; sucking as well as peeping out my tongue to cross the soft surface. Derrick's hands locked into my hair and pulled my face closer to his. With his swollen lips he placed feverish kisses around my face and down my neck. I guided his face wherever I wanted, holding it to me rather forcefully.

"Eager are we," he chuckled though continued.

"Talk one more time and you'll have nothing to be eager for," I rumbled.

His mouth did wonders on me. As his tongue would sneak and create patters and shapes, my abdomen warming with his actions. I peeled off my shirt and threw it across the room. After all, Derrick was already under there.

"Massie- maybe we should-"

"I said I'd tell you when to stop." I peeled off his shirt, just to revel in the way our bare chests felt together. I shook at the wondrous feeling of us finally being together.

"Much better," I sighed.

His next words were unintelligible.

His fingers combed through my hair continuously, as he slowed our movements. Suddenly I was frozen, allowing him to place appreciative kisses, starting at my forehead and making his way down to my collarbone. He made stops at key intervals in between, whispering he loved me, over and over again.

"Derrick," I whispered, "I want you to be the one."

"I am your one," his lips pressed to mine.

"No," I mumbled between kisses. "I want you to be the one who makes love to me. The... my first time wasn't love- I was forced. I want to be made love to."

"Now," his voice trembled. He stopped kissing me. "Massie I'm not rushing you. Maybe you're not ready for this. The other day-"

"If you say 'the other day' again I will knock you back into 'the other day'. I'm ready Derrick. I love you. I want _you." _

"Ok," he finally said, "If it's what you want. But if you want to stop, _whenever _you want to stop- tell me."

I answered him by pressing myself into him, the thin fabric of my sarong in between us. I felt Derrick's fingers unwrap my white sarong. He tossed it aside and stared hungrily at me in my thong. This was it.

"You're wearing way too much," I smiled and he shifted his hips so I could slip his shorts from beneath him. With us both left in our underwear Derrick took initiative and began peeling down mine.

_Look at the lacy panty- yum... _I remembered. I blinked my eyes a few time to shake off the memory.

This is Derrick. Derrick's here with me. Derrick's loving me. I felt his fingers probe me. I squirmed.

_Aren't you ready for me Massie? _The voice taunted. No, I was never and never will be for you- but I'm past ready for Derrick.

"Are you ok?" Derrick whispered tenderly. Derrick is not going to hurt me. I nodded desperately. I needed him.

"I'm ready Derrick," I told him. He nodded and then he began.

I almost screamed when he first did. I clenched my fists and my eyes and chanted _it's Derrick, it's Derrick, it's Derrick. _I felt Derrick pause as he unclenched my hands and kissed my eyelids.

"I love you," he repeated. "Are you ok?"

I nodded, starting to get testy at how cautious he was being. However I couldn't blame him for being careful with me. Nevertheless, I rolled my eyes, "Well...go on then!"

.bliss.

Every move he and I made was harmonious. Something that I'd thought I'd never have was happening to me with someone I loved and who loved me back. This wasn't me being raped- this was me being made love to. Every movement, every kiss, and every touch –nothing about this could be misconstrued as harmful or forced. I wanted this, I wanted him. Derrick loved me and I loved him back, and now, I had every piece of him.

**Claire's POV**

Cam stormed into our room and almost slammed the door on me.

"Why the hell are you angry," my voice louder than normal although I was sure it wasn't from the alcohol but rather from my own anger.

"Why didn't you tell me Claire?" he groaned and plastered himself to the wall, his eyes shut tightly. "I just want to be there for you ..."

"It wasn't something I could talk about," I tried to calm down. "I still can't talk about it."

"I'm trying to be in your life," he said, "I missed out on you for ten years."

"You could have been there," I shouted, "Instead you left me for Olivia."

"I didn't even like Olivia!" he replied at the same volume, "I was only with her because _you _didn't trust me."

"Like hell I didn't!" I stalked and poked him in the chest, "Because you were going around with someone else!"

"I was confused!" he lifted his hands in defense, "Excuse me if I had some semblance of feeling for someone else besides you. It's not like I did anything about it! There's nothing wrong with that."

"If there was nothing wrong, why did you hide it from me," I asked.

He was silent.

"Exactly," I stalked away from him. "That's why I can't share anything with you. You don't share anything with me."

"That was 10 years ago!" Cam objected, "I'm different now!"

"You didn't like her _then _and you went out with her; you don't like her now and you _still _went out with her. Have you really changed?"

"I screwed up," he admitted, "I have changed. That doesn't mean you can't share anything with me now. I want to know what's going on with you!"

"You know what's going on with me?" I screamed. The words in my head and the words in my heart did this weird flip-flop motion and completely screwed each other up. It was as if the lights at a cross section messed up and gave the wrong traffic directions. Suddenly I was saying things I had never meant to actually say, and what I meant to say was waiting idly at a stop light. My mind was stopping while my heart was continuing, _go, go, go,_ "I flipping love you!"

"You what?" he yelled.

"I love you," I repeated.

"Well- I love you too," he replied back shouting.

There was almost this tangible moment of realization as we processed the words that had just been shouted –quite angrily I might add –between us. As reality dawned on us we discarded the distance between us, closing it with quick strides. And for a movement with so much purpose, it held a lot of hesitation. We met, face to face in the middle of the room before we finally claimed what was ours.

Our first kiss was clumsy, messy, and I'm positive I missed Cam's mouth a few times. But it was filled with so much eagerness and desperation, and pure need that it didn't really mattered. Every pinhole that had been poked into my persona that had stretched and ripped until it left gaping flaps was now being sown back, just by the caress of his lips. I wound my fingers in his hair, willing myself to never detach.

We made our way to the bed, our hands flittering appreciatively over each other's body's as we explored what we'd been denied for so long. Giggles and incoherent nothings were shared as we kissed, only pausing for this and for short breaths.

Okay, so it was only me giggling.

"What's so funny," Cam murmured.

"I'm just," I laughed maniacally, "I'm just so happy."

And he shared my laughs, mixing them with mine between our attached lips. It was like we were passing the happiness back and forth in some weird drug exchange; except I was positive that no drug could achieve euphoria like this.

Articles of clothing were quickly lost while the minutes began to tick away. We didn't waste any time trying to tease seeing as we were both more than ready for each other. In my heart I knew that I had been saving my virginity for Cam, and I hoped to God that he had been saving his for me too.

I won't try and candy coat the truth and say that it didn't hurt. It did. I'm not going to even say the first time was the picture of bliss because it wasn't. Truth be told, my actual first time left a lot to be desired. But that was more because of the discomfort than Cam's skill. The second time around was the charm, and when we were finally able to not worry about the mechanics of our act we were able to enjoy the feelings of it. It was a beautiful act, one that had made me feel like a goddess being adored. The amount of adoration Cam held in just one of those discolored eyes was enough to send me sky high. We moved together, kissing and sharing the moment. It was love. There was no more sexual frustration and tension. It was just me and him.

It was Cam and Claire, only this time, forever.


	22. Chapter 21: Sugar, We're Going Down

**Chapter 21: Sugar, we're going down**

"_Is this more than you bargained for?"_

_~Fall Out Boy_

**Massie POV **

I woke up to the most ah-dorable sight. My first view of the day was Derrick, wide eyed and guilty, staring at me. His blonde hair was more than disheveled, and his brown eyes were slightly unfocused.

I also swore that I would never be one of those girlfriends who lays across from their guy and stares at them until they enter menopause, but somehow that's where I found myself in that moment. Neither of us needed to say, or do anything, all that mattered was fact that we were finally together in that moment. I drank in every part of him, memorizing every part of his features –just in case.

"Morning Nana," he pushed back some of the hair from out of my face.

"Morning stalker," I stuck out my tongue and smiled goofily, "how was your night?"

"Verygood_,_" he chuckled. "How about you? Think it's something you'd do again?"

"Hmm, I'll think about it," I yawned, "Though for now- I could really use something to eat."

"Sure… but Massie we need to talk about this marriage thing." He held my gaze.

"I know," I nodded, "But right now let's go see what everyone else is up to ok?"

"Yah-"

A ruffled Claire burst through the door. There was a few things wrong with this scene. One, her face was completely red- though not from crying. No, her face was a flustered, beet red that could only be described as anger. The other thing wrong was the fear present in her eyes. It didn't make sense to me that she was angry and scared. The third thing that was also amiss in this picture was that she was in her bra and underwear, something that Claire would _never _walk around in.

"It's Dylan," she gasped, "She's unconscious and she won't wake up."

**The Sorority**

"I should have seen this," Jamie held Dylan's hands and stroked it tenderly. "She kept asking me how she looked- if I noticed how she looked thinner."

"You wouldn't have known," Kristen rubbed her shoulder while Chris stood loyally next to her, "You didn't know that she had eating issues- but we did. How did we not see this coming?"

I shook my head in response and viewed the room. Claire sat stonily, positioned on Cam's lap while Josh held a comforting arm around Alicia. Kemp sat with his head in his hands, shaking it from time to time when the reality of the situation seemed to weigh down on him. The person who looked the most out of place there was Keegan. He stood awkwardly by the door.

Me? I clenched onto Derrick's hand like there was no tomorrow. Dylan's face was empty and gaunt, and lifeless. I hated thinking it but a corpse looked livelier than she did. The only reason I knew she was still alive was the rising of her chest and the tell tale heart monitor beeping annoyingly. I wanted to point fingers. I wanted to scream at her for being so insecure when she was such a beautiful woman. How could she not see how she was hurting the ones who loved her so much? How could she hurt herself, knowing that she would be hurting us too? I wanted to point fingers, but all of them would be pointing to the bystanders in this room. We were all at as much fault as she was. I think deep inside, we all knew that she had never gotten over her demons from childhood. We hid behind pretentious smiles, covering up what we thought was too ugly to come to the surface. All the while we broke inside, trying to pick up our own pieces. When would we ever learn?

"Can't we get a freaking doctor in here," Claire shouted. This was… out of the ordinary. I never knew her to be so vicious. If we weren't in such a serious situation I would find it amusing. But for now I feared for the doctor's safety.

"Alright, I'm here," a robust woman waddled through the door. Ah, pregnant- that was something I never see myself doing. "Ms. Dylan Marvil…. Diagnosed with calcium deficiency, malnutrition, cause of anorexia and bulimia… anyone here family?"

"No," I answered since I seemed to be the most present, "We're not residents here. We're on vacation- or we were."

"And you are…"

"Ms. Block," I answered, "I think I'm meant to fill out some forms."

"You're going to have to fill out your marriage status I'm afraid- even if you are divorced…" she glanced down at my finger where Derrick's Briarwood Signet ring was now placed. He said he wouldn't have me wearing a smiley face around as long as we were married.

"Oh, I-I'm not married," I argued. "I-"

"Honey, just fill out the forms," she smiled and handed me the forms, "I'm afraid we won't be able to discharge Ms. Marvil for a few days. She'll be fine, but we need to get her back to a healthy state and into a rehabilitation center."

"But we don't live here," Kristen reminded her, "Isn't there some way she can go to one in California?"

"We can't discharge her until we are sure of at least a mildly stable emotional and physical state- sorry it's policy."

"So what are we supposed to do? Should we stay here until she gets better?" Alicia asked.

"I-I want to be here for Dyl, but Cam and I _have _to get back to work," Derrick said.

"Yah," I muttered, "I have to go into the office this week."

"Maybe some of us should go," Alicia said. "Can anyone stay back?" "I will," Kemp said, "I owe it to her- I'm the reason she's like this. You guys need to leave now if you're going to catch the flight though. I'll tell her you were here once she wakes up."

"You sure man?" Keegan asked.

"You guys can always stay at my uncle's," Jamie offered, "Please tell her we're thinking of her and that we love her."

Kemp nodded as we began to depart. Placing one last kiss on Dylan's forehead we left to go and get our suitcases. I had never felt like I was betraying her more than in that moment.

**The Sorority **

"Mass," Derrick's shook me gently, "We're about to reach the house. You need to wake up. Please don't punch me."

I yawned obnoxiously. Traveling was no joke- especially when you were stressing over your friend who was battling an eating disorder on an island miles away. I didn't think things could get worse than this.

And then they did.

Still in a haze I unbuckled my seatbelt and hardly waited for the car to stop before climbing out. I couldn't even wait for Derrick to help me with my suitcase, I just needed a bed.

How could things have gone so wrong after such a wonderful night?

Derrick entwined his fingers through mine before walking me up the steps. The baby blue of the sky signaled the beginning of a new day but the end of mine. If I had known what would be waiting for me at the door, I would have skipped work to stay back in Grenada.

Totally unaware of our visitor we walked hand and hand to the door where I bumped into an unfamiliar figure. About to apologize I stare up into brown eyes I had tried hard to erase from my worst nightmares.

"Dempsey man, what are you doing here?" Derrick crowed and pulled him into a manly hug. My body went rigid as Dempsey wrapped his arms around me in a friendly salutation.

"Hey Harrington," he smiled and then smirked at me, "Hello Massie."

My world went black.

"Massie," his voice cooed, "Massie- wake up. Maybe I should have called first."

"Nah, man, our house is your house," Derrick assured, "She did this the first time she saw me."

"Get away from me," I sat up, "Now."

"I know we ended badly, but I swear Massie, it isn't like that anymore," Dempsey raised his hands.

"You-you," I flustered immediately, prepared to rat him out. After quick thinking, I relaxed, "You're right. After all, everyone breaks up right? Why don't we all settle in the kitchen and catch up?"

He was trying to appear as the innocent one when he wasn't. The worst thing was? I knew that everyone would believe him. Although Derrick was the master of charming, Dempsey somehow outshined him. They would all let him in…unless I told them that he was the one. But I couldn't. He had threatened he'd find me. I would think that it was impossible but here he was, inside our house. Would it really be that hard for him to find me later? It was as if I was in a freaking whack a mole game where Dempsey was the amused contestant and I was the in the machine. You assume the mole will get away- but everyone knows that he'll whack it. The smug look on his face made me crawl. What was worse was that he knew he had that power over me. Anger aside, I completely feared him.

"Massie, can I speak to you for a moment," Derrick asked. My heart accelerated.

"Sure," I could feel my face flush. Derrick pulled me down the hall away from the others who were conversing in the kitchen. He violently tugged his hand through his hair, a tell tale sign that he was either stressed, nervous or confused. I guessed all three.

"There's nothing going on…between you two. Right," he finally looked at me. All I could see was the hurt in Derrick's eyes at the possibility.

Shaking my head fiercely, I spoke, "There used to be. But that's more than over Derrick."

"Have you…slept with him?"

My heart flopped.

"Massie,"

"Yes," I gulped, "But you've slept with other girls-"

"Nana, I'm not accusing you of anything," he chuckled, "I was just curious. I just want to know, honestly, do you have any feelings for him?"

I placed a gentle kiss on his nose, "I told you- you're my one. So stop being so jealous Harrington."

"I'm not jealous," he groaned, "But- I do think that you should talk things out with him. Alone."

I coughed, "What?"

"I don't want one of my best friends on the wrong side with my girl- so please. Do it, for me? The gang and I will chill in the kitchen, just step out back and settle things."

Not even waiting for my response, he entwined his fingers with mine and pulled us back to the kitchen. If Derrick knew, he wouldn't be forcing me out there with him.

Either way, somehow we ended up outside. I surveyed the area for potential weapons. What could I fend him off with? Derrick was right inside though, so obviously nothing could happen with him there could it?

"Long time no talk Massie." He smiled wickedly.

_Grow a back bone Mass- he can't hurt you. Embrace you're inner bitch-dom. _

"So this is how it's going to go down," I said with a smile, "You're going to stay here for a maximum of two days. Then you're going to make up some crap excuse about leaving for business. While you're here- stay the hell away from me. I swear, if you come near me-"

"You'll what?" he laughed, "Rape me?"

My cheeks burned, "Don't even screw with me-I want you out of my house. You have no right being here."

"Oo, temper, temper; you think you have a right to be here? I thought they all hated you. Isn't that what you used to cry about all the time when we were together?"

"They don't hate me," I growled.

"Of course," he smiled, "Now let's hug and make out."

"I swear, I'll kill you," I snapped as he pulled me into a hug. His next words chilled me as he whispered in my ear,

"Not if I kill you first."


	23. Chapter 22: The Show

**Chapter 22: The Show **

"_It's bringing me down I know, I've got to let it go."_

_~Lenka_

**Claire POV**

"Do you think Massie's acting weird?" I asked Cam as we lay in his bed.

"She's been doing a lot of work these past two days since we came back, but I assume she's just catching up."

"Maybe," I shrugged, "Or maybe it's all this change that's happening. I mean, she's together with Derrick, you and I are finally together, Kristen and Chris are moving into an apartment and Dempsey, her ex boyfriend is here. It's a lot of things to work about. On top of this, Jamie says that she thinks she's going to move here with Keegan."

"Yah, I heard about that," Cam sighed, "Look, something doesn't sit right with me about Keegan. He was really cool at first but the way he treats Jamie irks me."

"What do you mean 'the way he treats Jamie'," I questioned.

"With no respect," Cam answered, "It's like he wants the sex and nothing else. Plus, I swear I heard him talking to another girl on the phone last night."

"Then we have to tell Jamie," I turned to him, our naked bodies brushing against each other. As lovely as it felt, I had to keep my mind centered on these problems. "I can't let her put herself with someone who doesn't care about her."

"I swear if he's playing her he's not sleeping in this house," Cam groaned, "I almost hate cheating as much as Derrick does."

I planted a cheek on his kiss, "You know I would never do that to you right?"

"I know," he captured my lips, and immediately round two began.

**Massie POV **

I had practically been holed in my room doing work for the past two days. Not that I actually had that much to do, I was rather finding every excuse to not go out with Dempsey and Derrick.

The two had immediately clicked with one another, showing their obvious camaraderie. Derrick kept asking me to join them to the movies or out to lunch or some other form of entertainment (torture) but I kept rejecting him. I could see the hurt that crossed his face when I did and eventually I explained that I had a lot of work to do, and that it wasn't because his best friend was my rapist.

Okay, so I didn't mention the other part.

In these past two days I had accomplished a few things I had put off before. For one, the annulment papers were top priority. I love Derrick, there was no doubt about that, but I didn't think the marriage was the best thing for us right now.

That and the fact that I wanted him to ask me when we both weren't piss drunk. A knock sounded at my door.

"Come in," I said.

"Hey," Jamie walked in. Her smile was bright as she sat down on my bed, "still cracking on work?"

"Yah," I smiled, "Work is quite the biyatch,"

She laughed and lay back, "I'm about to go jogging –want to come with?"

"I really can't," I shook my head, "Sorry, rain check?"

She nodded, "Need anything while I'm out."

I searched my mind, "I need you to drop something off for me at the postal office."

I grabbed the annulment envelope from off the bedside table. The deadline for sending the papers was tomorrow, and if they weren't sent then they would no longer be valid.

"Please, don't forget. I need you to mail this."

"Jeez Massie, I know I'm forgetful but not _that _forgetful," she took it from me after standing up, "sure. See you later."

"Thanks," I answered. As she left a thought struck me. I should have brought up Keegan.

Yesterday, Claire had come in and had been talking to me about the changes happening in the house. We had come across the topic of Jamie and Keegan, and she too thought that something was up with him. She had told me that Cam had heard Keegan talking on the phone with another woman the other night. I couldn't say that I was surprised.

_Lying douche bag, _I cursed inwardly. I would have to tell Jamie, even if I knew she wouldn't like the news. Hopefully she wouldn't shoot the messenger.

Shutting down my laptop, I began to get ready for an early night. Tiredly, I slowly stripped off my garments and began to pull on a t-shirt. I felt a draft from the hall seep into my room.

_Odd, _I thought, _didn't Jamie close the door?_

I turned around only to be face by my worst nightmare; Dempsey.

His hot breath gave me unpleasant shivers down my spine as he pulled me close to him, "Thanks for the show."

"Get out, now," I said firmly, though inside, every organ was quivering.

"Hm," he fake contemplated for a moment, "I don't think I want to. You see, Derrick had to stop by his office, so I thought, 'Hey, why don't I go over and see Massie?' Wasn't that kind of me?"

"Get out!" I began to raise my voice, "So help me I'll scream."

"You can scream all you want," he smiled, "No one else is here. They all went out with their respective others."

My heart plummeted. "Please, just leave me alone."

"Not just yet. I think we could have a bit of fun."

He gripped my wrists tightly and forced me against the wall. I tried using my legs to kick him but his body weight against me stopped any and every movement. His lips swarmed mine and then journeyed down my neck. He bit my neck harshly.

"Moan," he commanded. I screamed.

He banged my head against the wall. A dizzying stupor clouded my mind. His hands didn't even touch anywhere else before they plunged straight into my underwear.

"I missed being here," he panted into my ear. I felt dirty, violated and useless. It was happening again. I was being raped _again. _He poked and prodded me harshly, causing painful spasms. Though it was a horrific experience, my body was still reacting. There was no way I could stop it. It was nature but this wasn't.

I couldn't feel anymore when he continued. He had forced me on the bed and stripped me of my clothes. I was merely a toy to him as he continued going in and out of me.

_Using me. _

"Derrick," I whimpered repeatedly.

I was slapped across the face, "Say _my _name."

"Derrick," I wailed louder, "Derrick!"

My brain was wracked once more with the force of his slap, "I said, say my name!"

My body shuddered and I dreaded what was about to happen. He would have the satisfaction when I did it. He would feel accomplished. I didn't want to say his name but I knew that if I didn't, I could possibly end up battered and most likely dead. Though I wondered if being dead might be a better alternative to living through this experience.

I could see it on his face that he was about to as well. He squeezed my hips as he continued taking everything from me. My body had finally had enough. I felt myself begin to quiver, he felt it too.

"That's right Massie," he went harder, "Say-my-name."

"Dempsey," I wailed as my body released its tension. Maybe it was the horrid experience, and my traumatic state but I heard slamming. I would have thought someone had come home in time to save me from anything else Dempsey had planned, but I was wrong.

I was still here, a play thing.

His body relaxed soon after, muttering my name and then collapsing on top of me. He planted lazy and sloppy kisses over my neck. I couldn't even rejoice when he finally detached from me. I couldn't feel anything anymore. There was no rejoicing, there was no mourning...just nothing and complete emptiness. I was left, like a dirty towel, on the bed. Dempsey zipped his pants and walked over to the door, completely unfazed.

"Thanks Massie. I had a good time," he said as he left, taking every last part of me with him.


	24. Chapter 23: Breakdown

**Chapter 23: Breakdown**

"_What right do you have to point at me? It's not the time to break down. Keep it together now." _

_~Chris Daughtry _

**Derrick POV**

"Dude what are you doing," Cam sat up from his nap as I searched around frantically, stuffing clothes and belongings into a suitcase. There was no thought process; all I knew was that I had to get away. I couldn't stay in this house, no, this country, any longer.

"Derrick," Cam got up and placed a hand on my shoulder, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," my voice said cracking. Was I crying? I didn't know- I couldn't tell what I was feeling.

"Wait," he said as he tried to shake the previous sleep stupor from his mind, "_Leaving? _Where, no, wait, actually why?"

"Massie," I barely made out as I emptied my entire closet. Golf clubs- yes, I would definitely need to do some golfing. "Massie cheated on me."

Cam was silent, "Are you sure? It could be a misunderstanding. Maybe you should just talk to her-"

"She was freaking screaming out freaking Dempsey's name Cam, you are obtuse but you're not stupid," I growled, picking up my wallet. Where to? England? France? Spain sounds good…

"Hey, watch it. Derrick this isn't the answer- you can't run away from her or Dempsey."

"Yes I can, and I will," I moved past him towards the door; my own best friend and my girlfriend- why did this seem like a bad chick flick. I didn't like thinking it but somehow the betrayal of…_Massie _felt worst than knowing Dempsey would go back after her. I almost puked.

"Ok," Cam sighed and stepped in front of the door. "Promise me- you won't drop off the face of the Earth though? I've seen you like this Derrick, I don't want to be lost to you again. You're my brother man, please, at least call me when you arrive to wherever the hell you're going?"

"I have to keep in touch with you dumbass we have a business together," I managed to choke out. Finally, I looked at Cam's face and was met with the seriousness of it all. This was goodbye- I didn't know when I'd be able to return and face him, especially since he was with Claire and Claire would be with…_Massie. _My voice softened, "Of course. You're my brother too Fisher. I'll call you on one condition."

"What?" he asked.

"You can't tell _anyone, _especially Claire or…_Massie, _where I am." Her name was spat off my lips like poison. She was poison; poison that I desperately wanted but would never dare to take again.

I knew it was difficult for him but he managed to agree, "Fine. I promise on my life. Be safe."

"Yah, man," I pulled him into a hug, "I'm going to miss you."

"Yah," he nodded, "Derrick. I know this is hard to ask of you- but don't do anything stupid."

I coughed out a laugh, "I can't promise anything."

With that, I stalked through the door, many bags in tow. I wrestled the mass into the car ignoring Jamie who was now trying to talk to me.

"Hey, are you going out? Stop by the post office and mail something for Massie for me-"

"I'm not doing _anything _for Massie," I barked back at her. She took a step back and surveyed the scene in front of her.

"Are you leaving?" her face clouded, "What did she do?"

"She's up there, screwing my best friend," I smiled, "So you can go ahead and mail that for Massie."

With a stunned expression I pulled her into a hug. Jamie and I didn't have a strong relationship but it wasn't as if I didn't care for her at all.

"Goodbye Jamie, please tell the others I'm sorry." Before she could say anything else, I shut myself in the car and drove off. I was leaving them behind- leaving everything behind. My thoughts jumbled together like snap magnets, connecting with painful and loud realizations and having to be pulled apart because of the annoying sound they created in my mind. The only thought that stood out and replayed was one that I hoped would eventually die out.

_Massie doesn't love me…_

**Claire POV**

I have to tell Jamie. It's not fair to her if she doesn't know. She needs to know that Keegan is cheating on her and I won't wait another second. I saw her on the drive way, a stunned expression on her face.

Did she already find out?

"Jamie, can I talk with you inside." I pulled her by the hand until we were in the confines of our home, "It's really hard for me to tell you this, and it's not good so I think you should sit down.

"I have to talk to you about something too," she said, "You go first."

"Keegan…Keegan is cheating on you," I finally told her. "I didn't know how to tell you…"

She was silent for what seemed like an endless time. I tried reading her features but I was met by an intimidating, cold stare. In all my time of knowing Jamie, I had received such a discomforting glare.

"How do you know this," her voice was sharp.

"Massie-"

"Oh, your whore friend?" she barked a laugh, "the one who screwed Derrick's best friend and caused him to run off. You would really get your information from that?"

"_What," _I stood up, "are you talking about."

"Why don't you ask Massie," she smiled.

"Massie," I called, "Massie, get down here."

It was about five minutes before Massie made her way down. There was no way to describe how she held herself. She treaded down the stairs without purpose, staring ahead at absolutely nothing. As she came into our presence, her gaze was unfocused as she looked at me. Something was very wrong.

"Where the hell do you get off making judgments about other people's boyfriends when you screw up with yours," Jamie began to yell. "Keegan _loves _me- he would never betray me like you did to Derrick."

"What?" Massie croaked, "I never-"

"Yah, so you banging Dempsey was purely innocent," she scoffed, "you _hypocrite._ Now Derrick is halfway on his way to God knows where and you're here like the slut you are accusing my boyfriend of something you don't even know he did. You haven't changed at all have you?"

"Derrick left," her voice cracked, "why did he leave me? I didn't-"

"Yah, just like how you didn't completely split them up like ten years ago," Jamie continued to fire, "You know, Claire told me all about it."

I felt my insides crumble in. Jamie needed to stop- somehow I didn't think everything was how we thought it was. The front door opened as Cam walked in, his cheeks were red and his fists were clenched.

"What the hell happened, Mass," he said tightly, "What did you do?"

"Don't get into this," I stood between him and my friend. "Everyone stop accusing Massie of something we didn't know if she did. Let her speak."

We all turned to Massie. I thought here lips were about to open for her to speak, but all they did was tremble as she began to cry.

"Gawd- you're such a drama queen. We don't care if you cry," Jamie sneered, "Did you cry when you screwed up their friendship ten years ago? Or how about when you made Claire's life a living hell and when you continued to antagonize all the others. You made school so bad for Claire she had to move schools. You run everyone off because you're a bitch. A cold hearted bitch that deserves to be alone."

"Are you done?" Massie asked.

As soon as I saw Jamie lunge towards Massie, I hooked an arm around her waist to restrain her.

"_My _boyfriend loves me! Stay the hell out of my life," Jamie shouted as I held her back. Eventually she gave up and stalked out of the room.

"I'm going upstairs," Massie said, her voice and tone dead.

"No you're not," Cam stepped in front of her, "You're going to tell me why my best friend is halfway across the country getting away from you. How could you do something like that Massie?"

"Cam Fisher I swear if you don't leave her alone-"

"I have the right to know," Cam snapped back, "We finally get our friendship back on track and here she is running him off not for the first time but for the _second _time. Answer me, Massie."

I could see her breaking through the stony mask she held. I hated them all for doing this for her. I didn't know what Massie did, but I knew she wouldn't do that to Derrick. She couldn't- she loved him too much.

Cam took a step towards Massie, challenging her. Before I knew it, I had stepped in front of her defensively and slapped Cam sharply across the face.

"Enough," my face burned brightly, "Massie you can go back upstairs if you want."

Without waiting another second she ran back to her room. Cam turned to stalk out our door before I grabbed his arm.

"How could you do that to her- you know what she's been through."

"She was obviously fine enough to screw Dempsey," Cam answered.

"How does he know she cheated," I tried.

"He heard her scream Dempsey's name," Cam threw his hands up, "That's not something you can dismiss Claire."

"Don't talk to me like that," I said. "I don't think we're getting this right."

"No- you're not getting it," Cam said harshly, "Wow- this is the same as ten years ago. You're conforming to Massie's little alpha ways. Sticking up for her when you know she's wrong. I thought you were over this Claire, but obviously your not."

Without another word, he walked out and slammed the door.

"I hate you," I screamed at the closed door. The sad truth was that I really did love him and it killed me to see him angry like that, especially at me. But I knew that I couldn't reconcile whatever transpired between us until I figured out what was wrong with Massie. She was the one that needed help, I could see it. So now was not the time for me to breakdown.

**Jamie POV**

"Hey baby," Keegan walked in on my chucking Massie's envelope into our trashcan as well as all the pictures of Keegan and I. I threw his Ray Bans in as well and held the lighter above the trash.

"Shut up," I turned to him, holding the lighter, "Jenny was wondering, if you'd be able to get away from your girlfriend tonight to whore around with her. Do you think you're free?"

"It's not what you think," he began.

"I love that line," I laughed cynically, "Because normally, it is what I think."

"We haven't done anything…we used to go out- but she's not over me," he waved it off, "I'm yours baby."

"Yah, your piece of ass," I shouted, "I'm _no body's _piece of ass. The only reason you got any from me was because I thought you loved me. You told me you loved me."

"You forced it out of me," he yelled back, "Gah- all you girls always wanting us guys to lay our heart out on the line when we're not even ready and don't want to. I just wanted some fun. I didn't want all this trouble."

"I'm sorry I'm trouble for you then," I scoffed, "Take off the watch."

"What?"

"I gave you that watch…and I guess it'd be too much _trouble, _for you to keep it. I also want back those shoes, and that jacket and every other piece of crap I bought for you because you sure as hell, are not keeping it."

"Fine," he ripped them off and dropped them on the bed, "Are you happy? Give me my Ray Bans- you didn't buy those for me."

I laughed, "Are you serious?"

"Yes," he held his hand out. "Give them to me."

"Ok, then," I chuckled as I flicked on the lighter and left the hold on so that the flame stayed burning. Without a second thought I threw it into the trash and walked past Keegan, leaving him for good. "Go get them."


	25. Chapter 24: It's Not Over

**Chapter 24: It's Not Over**

"_Shaking from the pain that's in my head…I'm falling apart." _

_~Secondhand Serenade _

**Claire POV**

A week passed before I decided it was time to talk with Cam. I was still in the dark about what had happened to Massie seeing as she had literally locked herself in her room. I wondered what had happened to send her into such a comatose state. I had tried leaving food on her bedside table while she slept but stopped after a while when I realized she hadn't touched a scrap. Well, that and the fact that she locked me out of the room.

On a Wednesday afternoon, I snuck into the boys' house reluctant to be here. When Alicia had been told by Josh of Massie's 'betrayal' she had immediately moved here, just like Jamie had moved into Keegan's old room. I wasn't in any way ready to move in with Cam- seeing as I was currently still furious with him as well as we had only just announced our loves for each other. I don't even know why I'm thinking this seeing as we aren't even talking and therefore definitely not making any major steps.

I quietly went up the steps and traveled around the foyer until I knew I had reached his room. Screamo escaped from under the door, giving me a clue as to how he was feeling. Cam had a knack for listening to music that directly described his current emotion.

The door creaked open and I shuffled inside, nervous and scared of rejection. _Rejection; I _should be the one rejecting _him_ after he compared me to my immature fourteen year old self.

"Josh, for the last time, I'm not going to the bar," Cam groaned.

"Well I should hope not," I said lightly, "Then I'd have to be scared about you meeting girls."

"What are you doing here," Cam's stony tone killed all sense of happiness in the room. I would say that you could cut the tension with a butter knife, but that witty thought couldn't suffice the amount of tension in this room. To me, I was in between pure rage...and pure hurt.

"Not the kindest thing to say to the girl you gave a key to your house," I slammed the keys on the desk beside me. "You know, I was going to come over and try and talk to you but if you're going to act like that then I'm leaving."

"You're acting like I'm in the wrong," he defended as I stood to leave, "I can't believe you're taking her side on this Claire."

"Until she says something then I'm on her side Cam. I know you can't possibly understand, but I can see it in her eyes, there's something _very _wrong. She won't eat, she won't get out of her bed- she's a ghost."

"What explanation could she possibly give to explain why she was up in the room screwing Dempsey?"

"I'm waiting to see. I don't love Derrick any less than you do Cam, he's become a brother to me," I told him, "I don't want to see him hurt but I can't leave Massie in the state she is. She needs me. Please," my voice broke, "Don't make me choose between her and you. You don't have to choose between Derrick and me."

He stepped an inch closer to me, pressing his forehead to mine. I could almost touch my lips to his, and could feel his hot, short breaths, warm my face and cheeks. I thought he was going to, you know, kiss me, but that was until his lips started to brush gently against mine as he whispered,

"_Bros before hoes," _

**Massie POV**

_It's been five weeks since I last saw Derrick and since I had been raped yet again by Dempsey..._

I sat, staring at the TV, not absorbing any of the programs that were playing before me. Claire sat as well, purse clutched in hand as she prepared to leave for yet another commercial shoot. This time she'd be gone for four days and so I'd be left in this house...alone.

It frightened me, definitely, but somehow I took refuge in knowing that even though they were my ex-friends, they would surely pull through if I was dying right? Maybe not.

"Massie," white painted nails snapped in front of my face. The color was hideous, but I had no passion to correct Claire, "I've called your name at least six times."

I looked to the side to where I thought she was sitting. It turned out that she was actually in front of me. When had she even moved?

"I'm worried about you," she grabbed my hand and held it in her long slender fingers. Why was Claire so beautiful? If only I could achieve that...then I'd be loved by someone who truly loved me back and who I deserved. Maybe they wouldn't leave me so easily if I held them captive with my grace. "-and you're not even listening to what I'm saying. I going to call Dylan back and see if she can stay here with you. I'm sure she'll pick up the phone this time..."

"No," I croaked. When was the last time I had talked, "She hasn't 'missed' your calls Claire. She's ignoring you, just like all of your friends are because you're sticking with me."

"I'm on your side," Claire squeezed my fingers gently, "I don't know why, but I know that I am. Will you be fine by yourself?"

I nodded as she picked up her suitcase to head to the taxi. She pecked my cheek (which was brave seeing as I hadn't showered in a few days) and headed to the door. Before she could leave, I called out her name even though that sound was barely audible.

"Claire," I squeaked, "You know I love you right?"

An angelic smile crossed her face, "I love you too Mass."

With that she left and I was alone in the mansion. I curled into a ball on the couch, under the false comfort that maybe if I didn't move I couldn't be hurt. I was wrong...so horridly, horridly wrong. Though the outside dangers were locked on the exterior of the house, there was still the hurt and damage ripping and gnawing its way inside of me. I didn't know if it was all caused by the emotional pain, or whether this was something oncoming for years. All I knew was that after Dempsey left was when the sickness began.


	26. Chapter 25: Baby

**Chapter 25: Baby**

"_Just shake me until you wake me from this bad dream. I'm going down." _

_~Justin Bieber_

**Massie POV **

_ Women stared at me cautiously as I traveled through the aisles of the pharmacy. I shot them a glare, warding them off, even though they had a right to be scared of my appearance. In short, I looked like a vagrant; my hair was unwashed, plus my red face and hands were the only skin they could see peeking through my sweater. I not only seemed like a vagrant, but a Leper vagrant. _

_How jolly. _

_ Pads, tampons, deodorant, vaginal wipes...pregnancy tests. Shakily, I grabbed a box positioned at the back of the shelf. At the checkout counter I tapped my foot impatiently as the store clerk chatted endlessly on his cell phone. _

_For once, emotion broke through; desperation. I grabbed his phone from his ear, hearing the squawking of the person on the other end of the receiver, _

"_Excuse you," the teenage boy sneered, "give it back." _

_ "I don't know if you realized, but there is cue of people waiting to get somewhere else besides this ass joint, and you're here chatting on your obnoxious tumor generator. And before you utter some comeback that you _think _is witty just remember that you're not that smart. If you were, you wouldn't be scanning tampons in this low grade pharmacy probably trying to take care of some has-been father at home. You need this job, way more than I need this pregnancy test. Ring this up before I call your advisor, Got it?" _

_ His face flushed a deep crimson as he rang up my item and handed me my purchase in a small plastic bag. I slammed down his phone shut on the table as I stalked out the pharmacy. _

**The Sorority**

_Blue...your test response is negative... _

My shrill cry rang out in my bathroom. Why I screamed was beyond my knowledge. I think I screamed out of relief as well as devastation. The devastation was from the fact that I had to go through this...alone.

I wadded my pissed on stick and threw it in the trash. Soon, I was repositioned in my signature form; fetal position. The TV was way too low for any human to detect what was actually being said. I didn't care, my mind was in other places. Where? I didn't exactly know.

I nibbled for a few seconds before the rolling of my stomach came back. _'What's wrong with me' _my mind yelled as I ran to the bathroom. I emptied the nonexistent contents into the toilet bowl. I dry heaved, the sound along dragging me into more gagging. Tears from the burning of my throat, raced down my face.

"Mass," a voice called, "Massie are you there?"

_Had four days really passed? _

"What are you doing on the floor," Claire clacked into the bathroom. She stopped as she spotted a box on the floor, "Oh Lord."

"I-I'm not," I gasped, "I'm not pregnant."

"It was negative," she sighed in relief; "...what made you take the test?"

"I missed my period...I've been puking ever since you left," I told her.

"The test is probably defective Massie," Claire groaned, "Those are obvious signs you can't ignore. I'll set up a doctor's appointment right now...we need to know."

"Oh my God," I actually screamed to God, "What if it's Dempsey's child?"

"We don't know if you're even pregnant Massie," she said and then her face turned beat red, "so you did sleep with him."

Please, don't let her leave me. I need her. She's the only person I have.

"Claire please," I sobbed, "I need you. Don't leave. It's not what you think. H- I just can't tell you yet. I need you. Don't leave me."

She cradled me on the ground, rocking me back and forth as I sobbed into her shirt.

"I won't leave you Massie," she cooed as she patted my shoulder. "I promise."

I don't know how but she managed to get me off the floor and into the shower. She took care of me, something I honestly admired and was grateful for. Tomorrow I would go to the doctor and find out the truth. I prayed, literally, to God that if I had to be pregnant that I would never be pregnant with Dempsey's child.


	27. Chapter 26: I'll Try

**Chapter 26: I'll Try**

"_There is no such thing as faith, and trust. I'll try, but it's so hard to believe." _

_~Jesse McCartney _

**Claire POV**

Massie's sob emanated from upstairs the next morning. Faster than I thought I could ever move I was in the bathroom with her. The moment would have been awkward had I not known the importance of the scene in front of me. Massie sat on the toilet, her head to her knees with her draws pulled to her ankles. There in the center of them was a patch of red.

"I got my period," a twisted smile was on her face as she looked up. I knew she wanted to be happy, but somehow I knew she was tortured. "Cancel the doctor's appointment."

I nodded, "Come on, get off the toilet. You're done here."

She nodded before beginning to stand up. I left her to clean herself up and went to start our dinner. The house seemed unbearably empty with only two people in here. I wondered how Cam would fare by himself. I heard from Jamie that all the others were moving out to different locations.

Massie's feet sounded loudly against the tile floor as she shuffled to the couch. Before she could even plant herself on the cushion, I began to speak,

"Don't you dare sit," I turned to Massie. "This is your last day of you sinking away into nothing Massie. You're stronger than whatever it is that's happened to you. Derrick may have left, but he's not worth this suffering. I'm giving you the rest of today to relax but tomorrow you're taking a shower and you're putting some regular clothes on….and getting a hair appointment."

She stared at me wide eyed, eyes filled with tears. I wondered if they ever left her eyes, "B-but I can't."

"You will try," I said sternly.

The looked we exchanged was one of understanding. We knew that we were both going through a hard time, but the fact was that we could pull through this. Massie and I hadn't always been on good terms, but when it came down to it we relied on each other. I was not about to allow her to waste away.

"Ok," she whispered, "I'll try."

**The Sorority **

Several months went by quickly…Massie wasn't close to her normal self, but she was improving. She talked more often and started to leave the house at least once a week. She had even gained back her weight, and some extra to spare. Not like I was going to tell her this, she looked very healthy… her normally B sized cup just looked around a C now.

I only talked to Cam a few times. We kept to pleasantries if we caught each other while checking mail; nothing more than 'how are you' and 'nice weather.' I still loved him more than any invented words could explain, but I would not waver in my decision. This really was just like ten years ago. Stupid unexplained screw ups were keeping us from one another; history really does repeat itself.

Massie came in from the grocery store, plastic bags decorating her arms. After placing them on the counter she leaned over to touch her toes.

"Man, my back is _killing _me," she groaned. Pills rattled as she shook a few blue tablets into her hands, "Grab me some water please? "

She gulped down the pills with the clear liquid, "Cam talked to me today."

My heart raced at the sound of his name, "Really? What about?"

"He asked me how I was doing," she set the glass down, "If you were doing well."

"Oh," I gulped, "That was nice of him."

"I don't want this Claire," Massie released a deep sigh, "For you to have to lose him. I'm ok now…really. You can go to him now."

For once, doubt scratched at my mind. What if I could have Cam back? But he definitely wouldn't want to keep contact with Massie. What if he didn't even love me anymore? It's been so long…about five or six months. No…my decision is made. We're through. Tears welled in my eyes for the umpteenth time over the past few months. The only thing was that I'd never cried in front of Massie. I hadn't wanted to create guilt.

"Massie," I choked, "I need you to tell me exactly what happened with you and Dempsey."

"I can't-"

"I need you to tell me so I don't feel like I've given up love for the wrong thing. I trust you Massie, I love you and I'm there for you... but I need to know. Please, don't leave me doubting."

She nodded before grabbing my hand and leading me to the couch. I was sat down before she stood in front of me, beginning her story.

"Dempsey and I met up in university, our senior year. He had some issues with his previous college and had transferred," her voice shook uncontrollably, "We continued dating outside of university and became pretty serious. He was great at first….until he got rough.

He started to get controlling, telling me who I could hang out with and what I should wear." She gained a bit of posture as she continued, "He'd push me further when I wasn't ready and eventually I just complied.

One night," her voice faltered, "one night, he was on one of his violent rampages. I tried to get out, but I wasn't fast enough. That was the first time he raped me."

Bile rose in my throat as I realized what she was implying, "_First?"_

"I don't know how he found me again. He didn't do any jail time because I was too frightened to even present a case. I guess he kept in contact with Derrick because here he showed up, a few months later at my door step…the other night- h-he made me scream," she began to sob, "I love Derrick, I still do! You have to believe me, Claire, I would _never_ hurt him."

I watched as her world fell apart, and she crashed into hysterics. I couldn't even wrap my arms around her I was so stunned. I ran to the bathroom before I could empty my stomach, trying to release what I had just heard in the form of sick. As my hair hung in my face, and the sick created a vile taste in my mouth, I promised myself and Massie one thing. If I ever saw that bastard again, I would kill him.


	28. Chapter 27: I'm Coming Home

**Chapter 27: I'm Coming Home**

"_Let the rain wash away…All the pain of yesterday." _

_~P-Diddy _

**Derrick POV**

England's harsh winds slapped at my coffee, blowing the hot liquid onto my lap. I cursed, _flipping hell –_that is the fourth time in the past half a year. I wondered if that happened to anyone else here. It's not as if I even knew anyone even after being here for so long.

My only companion remaining, Cam was miles away. I spoke with him every day as gay as that sounded, but honestly I was slightly lonely. None of the other guys were even around and hadn't called. I didn't want smothering attention but I didn't want to feel so individual.

Every day I think of her. Each brown haired girl, every 'OMG!' from some immature teenager, my mind was ripped back to the betrayal. I faced an internal battle every day, wondering if I should ask Cam how she's doing or whether I should just call her myself. I kept telling myself I didn't want to hear anything about her but I was lying.

I remember when about a month after I left Cam had mentioned in passing that she was sick. It ate at me and I wanted to press him for answers, but instead I chewed him out for forcing information on me. He never mentioned her state of health or her for that matter, after that day, but I was more curious and worried than I could contain.

After strolling a bit around Cobham and scaring some poor pigeons, I sat down on a park bench and tried to rub some heat into my bare legs. What the hell was I thinking when I used to wear shorts in the cold? If I didn't think I was so dashing I'd think I was a dimwit…

The annoying vibration of my phone announced an incoming call. I whisked the Blackberry from my pocket and pressed the green icon.

"Derrick Harrington," I said without an attempt at being pleasant. Nothing was really pleasant anymore so I didn't bother fronting. Would you bother decorating and serving a cake that tastes like crap?

Exactly.

"You need to come home, _now,_" Cam's voice sounded through the phone. _Woah, _is he _crying? _I don't think so, but he sounded on the brink of doing so.

"I already told you C," I sighed, "I can't take being there with her."

"Dude, just shut your freaking mouth for one second," he yelled in the phone. Something crashed on the other end of the receiver, "He- raped- her. That piece of ass Dempsey raped Massie. She didn't cheat on you."

The black device slipped from my hand into a puddle below effectively fizzling and dying out. I wasn't even able to care about that worthless electronic. All I could care about was Massie, how she was doing, how she was feeling, what she was thinking, and how much of a screw up I made. She needed me more than anything and all I did was leave her without even asking her what happened. She told me she loved me, and I discarded her like a piece of that nasty cake I mentioned earlier. I hope she knew that she never left my mind or heart.

I couldn't even care that I sounded like a creep who spends his time reading chick novels to seem more sensitive. These emotions were real and they were hitting me head on –_suffocating _me. Before I could remain permanently paralyzed on the metal seating I got up and began my speedy trek home. I ran, ran as fast as I ever had in New York and possibly ever would. I ran as fast as my legs could take me, not even bothering to take the small, black cell phone out of its puddle.

_Stay strong Massie….I'm coming home…_

**Claire POV**

"He said he would meet me here after he told Derrick," I muttered to myself as I paced around the park. "Where are you Cam?"

After Massie had revealed the complete truth and I had been violently sick, I called Cam immediately. Barely coherent, I told him of her story and how the sick scum invaded our home and defiled Massie yet again.

He was barely able to tell me to meet him before his phone crashed into the receiver. I couldn't blame him. I could feel the permanent layer of disgust and fury, coated under my skin and knew he felt it too.

Though would he really stand me up?

A figure appeared in my peripheral and all I could see was that honey hair. Without a second though I climbed onto his lap and laid my head against his broad shoulder.

"God, I missed you," I murmured, placing a kiss at Cam's neck. I let my lips linger for a few seconds. The rumble of his sigh made the skin of my lip's tingle.

"I've been horrible…I treated you so horribly," he brushed my cheek lightly as if a feather was caressing it.

"I didn't treat you any better," I sighed, "So where do we stand."

"I've never stopped loving you Claire," he fixed his face so that his one blue one green eyes met mine. "I-I hope you feel the same."

Sitting upright, I held his cheeks in my small hands and placed a light kiss on his lips. He was unresponsive, still worried about my intentions and thoughts, but I would let him know that I loved him with all my being.

"I'll always love you," I murmured against his lips, and then captured them between mine once again. This time he responded, and a feeling I hadn't felt in such a long time burst within me.

Joy.

"We- we have to stop," his short breaths warmed my nose, "We have to talk about Massie."

I nodded and sat up beside him, we were onto serious matters, and even though I longed to push this all aside, we had to fix this.

"She doesn't want to present a case…she's too scared. He threatened to kill her if she did," I shook my head. "But he's too dangerous to leave on the streets.

"No one else can go through this Claire," I could hear the fierceness under his tone, "Somebody else's 'Massie' is out there and what if she got raped by him? We have to stop that."

"I know, I know, I'll talk to her ok? Right now she's just shaken up from telling us about it. Did you get a hold of Derrick?"

"I did get to tell him but then…the line went dead."

The line went dead? That's not what I expected to hear. Where was Derrick? How could he bail out on us like that? Was it a pride thing?

"Cam…where is he?"

"I don't know," he shook his head, "I really don't know."


	29. Chapter 28: Apologize

**Chapter 28: Apologize**

"_I love you with the fire burning red." _

_~One Republic_

**Cam POV **

While driving Claire home, her hand enclosed in mine, I began to think of how much of a prick I was to Massie. I'd terrified her...I'd accused her without listening to her. I pushed away my girlfriend and let my best friend walk out the door without truly trying to persuade him to stay and listen to Massie. What type of person am I? I'm just as worse as Massie and her clan were ten years ago creating that dumbass boy fast.

As soon as we pulled up, I would go in and apologize; I'd do anything for her. I mean, I already owed Claire my soul, but I'd do anything for Massie. I truly cared for her as a sister, which was why when I thought she had betrayed Derrick, it had hurt me unexplainably. Not only had I lost a love, but I'd lost _two _best friends. I guess our friendship made sense since Massie was practically a clone Derrick... well, plus the breasts and stuff being a girl and all...but you get what I mean.

"Are you going to come in?" I may have mentioned this one or a few more times, but I'm pretty sure Claire's voice was the greatest sound I'd heard in my life.

Oops, she asked if I was coming inside. We arrived? I have got to pay more attention when driving...what if we had crashed into a tree or truck or what if-  
"Cam," her hand tugged on mine. I looked up to see her icy blue eyes just as they always were...warm.

"Yah," I nodded and snapped out of my head-up-butt state. "I'm coming in."

We walked hand and hand to the door before she had to detach to find her keys. I noticed the multiple locks on the door that had not been there before.

"What's with the security," I nodded towards the many metal bulbous items on the door.

"Oh, um, Massie...is a bit paranoid nowadays," Claire said kindly. "So I put some more locks on the door to comfort her."

I gulped, fists clenching and digging my nails into my palms, that scum son of a- Claire slipped her fingers into mine once again, causing me to automatically stop applying pressure. God forbid I ever hurt her in _any _way again.

"Cam, be patient with her if she doesn't seem like she's listening. She is, but sometimes...sometimes she gets lost..."

"Lost?"

"She'll get this glassy look in her gaze," Claire murmured, as if remembering an incident, "Then they'll start to water, and she'll wring her hands. Don't push her...even after these months, she's still very fragile. Promise me you won't make her worse."

At any other time I would have been offended, but after my record, I couldn't blame her. Instead, I nodded my head.

"OK," I sighed, "I'll be careful."

"Let's go then," she smiled before pulling me into the house. I'd never scoff when I heard Elton John's 'Sorry' again.

**Massie POV**

I heard murmuring outside the door and knew that it was Claire and Cam coming back from their meeting at the park. Giving Claire permission to tell Cam had been hard, but I hoped that even though it probably wouldn't bring Derrick back, that I'd at least have one more friend in this world.

The door squeaked open as Claire came through, followed by Cam. I sighed relief at the sign of his honey brown hair and oddly colored eyes which I remember making fun of around 10 years around. Gah, I was such a horrible bitch as a child.

"Hello Cam," I smiled as he sat across from me, "Are you hungry or thirsty? There's some lemonade and mini salami sandwiches I can get from the fridge for you-"

"No it's ok, thank you. Massie, please sit," he asked and I complied. "I have some apologizing, and maybe even groveling to do."

Groveling?

"Why would you need to?" my hands traveled across my lap until they found each other, "I mean you never did anything to me...you were just sticking up for Derrick like Claire was sticking up for me. Though I am sorry that you two were at such a distance for a long time...although I see that is fixed."

I motioned to their hands currently entwined as Cam spoke to me. A small smile appeared on Claire's face, spurring a bit of hope in me. Or maybe I was entering a state of delusion.

"No Massie, I didn't get both sides of the story. I just assumed and accused you without talking to you. I know you're much better than what I assumed you to have done. Maybe I could have stopped Derrick if I tried more and not accepted everything at face value..."

Ah Derrick. I tried to pull together his features in my mind but failed. His features brought back the whole incident, bringing me to Dempsey's barbaric facial expressions on that night. I thought of how Derrick left me so easily and how unwanted and dirty I felt.

I twisted my hands back and forth, my skin burning from its chapped cracks. The line from Shakespeare's _Macbeth _rang in my head but with a new rendition. _O will this body ne'er be clean_...

"Mass," Claire's hand slipped into mind. I jumped from the sudden contact but stilled immediately, "Cam understands if you need time to think about his apology."

I shook my head slowly, as I got up. It was only after I saw the devastated expression on Cam's face that I realized that he had misinterpreted my actions. He thought I was going to leave...Wrapping my arms around him, I surprisingly felt safe once his arms returned the gentle hug. I felt wet droplets land on my shoulder, the thought of Cam crying causing my throat to close. I felt the full extent of the emotions, though oddly couldn't produce the tears I wanted.

He ended up staying the night with us that night, staying in Claire's room doing God knows what, but I didn't mind. I was happy that she had Cam again and that I was able to have him in my life again.

I slept a little bit more peacefully that night. I think it's because I knew there was a non corrupt man in the room next to mine and so I felt a tad safer, or maybe it was just because I had reconciled with one of my friends. All I know is that when the doorbell rang at four am I groaned at having to get out of the bed.

With a bat in my hand, I dragged myself down the stairs and tried my best to stand on my tip toes to see through the peep hole. Failing, I cautiously opened the door, bat ready to be used.

Before I had sense to even swing, my eyes were filled with a taller than six foot, blonde haired, brown eyed, startling sight. I threw the bat behind me, swung open the door and launched myself into his arms. Surprisingly he caught me even after the attack. I still don't think he or I fully comprehended what was happening as I showered kisses over his face and neck. Our tears raced down our faces, collided and meshing as I leaned my mouth his ear and whispered,

"Hello Derry,"

He lowered me down as he placed kisses on my cheeks, chin, nose and finally forehead. He repeated my gesture, leaning down to my height and finally murmuring the words I had dreamt about...well not exactly but close enough,

"Hey Nana."


	30. Chapter 29: Your Guardian Angel

**Chapter 29: Your Guardian Angel**

"_Stars are falling all for us…But…I will never let you fall" _

_~Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

**Derrick POV**

"I am _so _sorry," Claire's face remained bright red. "I just- it's like four in the morning, and I heard Massie crying downstairs and then I see you smuggling her and I thought you- it just didn't look right ok?"

"So you punched me in the face," I cried out, reapplying the ice pack to my nose.

"I didn't know it was you," she exclaimed. "Who the hell shows up at four in the morning?"

"My house key didn't work!" I explained, "Thanks Cam."

Cam shifted awkwardly, "Sorry, man," he coughed, "Nice right hook baby."

Claire's face darkened as a small smile formed from her lips. "I took self defense."

"Well isn't this moment just Kodak? Could someone please explain to me what's happened?"

Everything was deathly quiet besides the sounds of the elephant shuffling its feet in the room.

"Massie," I tried. She was staring at me...or past me, I couldn't really tell, wringing her hands together. Claire tapped her shoulder lightly before Massie seemed to reconnect.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice a bit hoarse from her tears, "I can't believe you're back."

A pain more dire than the one felt in my nose was felt. It was the pain of feeling like a heartless douche. I got up and sat beside Massie on the couch, holding her hand in mine.

"I can't believe I actually left," I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Or that I let that filthy, son of a-"

"I think in the interest of everyone," Claire interrupted, "that we should try and talk about this when Massie's ready."

"It's ok Claire," Massie spoke, "I- I can do this. I have to do it."

"Here, I'll make some coffee then, to keep me up," she offered, "anyone else wants?"

"Although I don't think I'd be able to sleep even if I tried, I'll take some," I answered, "Thanks, Claire." The others agreed.

The room was silent as she left, and the tension created an awkward fog in the room. There were things I wanted to talk to them both about, but privately.

"Claire will probably need some help in there," Massie stood, "I'll let you boys talk for a bit."

She quickly left the room before either of us could speak. Cam was positioned across from me. About nothing had changed since I saw him last. He buffed up a bit, but he still had the same surfer cropped brown hair and familiar blue-green eyes.

"So...how was England," Cam asked.

"Cold," I answered, "How's it been here?"

"Warm," he replied, "and lonely. The girls and I didn't talk much and the others...well they're living their lives."

"I'm sorry I caused all of this," I tugged at my hair a bit, "this is my entire fault."

"Dude, one," Cam started, "stop feeling up your hair like that- you're going to get a bald spot. Two, don't you dare say this is _your entire_ fault. This is that entire ass hat Dempsey's fault...but we all had our faults in this. Picking sides probably didn't help, and not hearing each other out was a stupid move. You need to stop running away from your problems, and I need to grow a backbone and not let you leave next time...or blindly follow you."

"You right," I sighed, stopping my hands before I could unleash other attack on my hair. "It must have sucked being away from Claire that whole time. I was in hell without Massie even when I thought she had cheated."

A pillow whacked me harshly across the face, "What the hell was that for?"

"I hate you for teaching me that ho's before bro's line," a grimace crossed Cam's face, "Keep your witty lines to yourself from now on ok?"

"What, did you say it to Claire," I chuckled jokingly. I was alarmed when Cam didn't laugh along. "You virgin!"

"I didn't know there were guidelines for using lines," Cam shrugged, "Let this be a lesson to _never _listen to you."

"Ugh, you nub," I rolled my eyes. Next thing I knew, strong arms encased me. It took me a moment for me to realize what was happening and reciprocate the hug.

"No homo," I said, "But I really missed you man."

"Yah," Cam smiled as he pulled back, "I missed you too Harrington."

**The Sorority **

"Alright," I knocked my coffee mug against the table as if commanding order in the court. Cam, Claire, Massie and I were positioned around the coffee table, discussing our plan of action. Massie held my hand beneath the table, using it as her stress toy as we covered uncharted waters. "What are we going to do about the douche?"

"I say we tie him to a tree, cut off his balls and wave them in front of his face as we do a sacrificial dance around a bonfire..." Claire suggested.

We all scooted about a meter away from her at the table.

"Ooook," I glanced at her warily. A _second _reason as to why I should never anger Claire, "What can we do about the douche-"

"A-" Claire began, but I interjected,

"That's _legal," _I finished. Claire was silent with a peeved expression on her face. "Mass, what are your thoughts?"

"Um," she started, clearly uncomfortable, "I do want to turn him in...but I'm scared that he'll find me again."

"We wouldn't let him Massie," Cam tried to convince her, "and I'm sure we can get the protective services we need until he's caught."

"You think so?" Massie's brows shot up, "Could we hire someone or something?"

"I bet we can," I assured her. "But Massie, I don't think we should wait any longer. We need to present your case."

"Won't they wonder why I've waited so long?" Massie asked. "I mean, it's been almost six months."

"They'll understand," Claire spoke, "They have to."

We were silent for a while as we sipped our drinks. Massie was contemplating; I could see it in the furrow of her eyebrows. Her lips were pursed as her hands began to crawl across her lap to find each other. Instead of letting her strangle her hands, I placed mine in between hers, showing her I'd be there for her. I hoped she knew that.

As our hands connected, she lifted her head to meet my gaze. In her brown eyes I was hit with the fullness of this all. It was then that I knew that Dempsey had taken something from Massie...a piece of her I guess. That wasn't what scared me the most. What scared me was that I didn't think she could ever get what he took, back.

"I'll do it," she whispered, "I'll turn him in."

A giant sigh of relief left all of our lips as she said this. Tears dripped from Massie's eyes as she remained quiet after her statement. Cam and Claire, stood and left the table, my guess was that they were giving us a moment.

"Why are you holding my hand so hard," I turned to Massie, "Like you're scared."

"I am scared," she whispered, "I keep thinking I'll wake up and you'll be gone...that I'll be back on the bed with Dempsey..."

"Hey," I tipped her chin up, "I won'tleave you again do you hear me?"

"I-I know," Massie mumbled.

"Listen to me Massie," I said more firmly, "I'm here for you now. I wasn't before, but I am now. I will _never _leave you."

"Ok," a smile crossed her face, "Ok, I believe you."

I lifted her from out of her seat, bringing her into my lap and cradling her. I couldn't help myself any longer, I pressed my lips to hers. After a few seconds of kissing her, I realized she wasn't kissing back.

"What's the matter?" I pulled back instantly then slapped myself mentally, "I'm so sorry Massie; I'm being so insensitive."

Her small hands stopped me from moving back, "No...I just, missed this so much."

Her plump lips found mine, pulling my bottom lip between hers. It was driving me crazy even though there was a nagging thought in the back of my mind, wondering if this was too fast. I wrapped my arms around her torso, not sure whether I was pulling her closer, or keeping her distanced. By the way she moved her body towards me, it didn't matter –I was gone.

She felt different...maybe it was because I'd been gone for a while, or maybe because she's changed. Whatever it was, she felt more wonderful than before...

"You feel different," I murmured as I kissed down her neck.

She pulled back a bit, but I kept her locked in my arms. Massie's eyes cast down as she spoke. It still flabbergasted me how someone as confident as Massie could be broken down to insecure. "I gained a bit a weight...actually a lot."

I placed fevered kisses against her lips, rubbing my hands up and down her sides, feeling her curves. Sure she felt a bit heavier, and sure her hips were a bit wider and much softer...but it wasn't as if she had five million folds. She was just healthy and soft.

"Stop that," I growled against her lips. "I like it."

"What," she placed a hand on my chest, "Wait, really?"

"Yes," I murmured impatiently, "Very sexy."

She giggled as I continued to kiss her, loving every inch of her. We remained, locked in our session until a voice caused us to snap apart.

"Alright you two," Claire said, "It's time for bed."

"Gah, I can feel the sexual tension from over here," Cam groaned, "Goodnight," I implied, giving them a glare that sent the two of them trailing back up the stairs.

"Virgins," Massie muttered.

I chuckled along with her, placing a few last kisses on her lips.

"Alright," I whispered, "Night time for girl."

I picked her up, against her protests and carried her up the stairs. Whatever it look like she gained, Massie hardly felt heavier. Almost effortlessly I carried her up the stairs, and the tucked her into the bed. After kissing her forehead and walking to the door, I heard her sleepy voice break through the air.

"Derrick?"

"Yah, Massie," I answered.

"Could you...would you...can you please stay with me please?"

"Of course," I replied softly. I don't know what it was about her that could make me turn from the hard ass I was to such a sopping sap, but whatever it was, it worked every single time.

I crawled into the bed with her, pulling her towards my chest and securing her there, relaxing myself with the beat of her heart and the rhythm of her slowing breaths.

As I brushed back her hair, relishing being close to her, a few words escaped my lips that I couldn't and didn't want to stop.

I whispered, "I'll stand up for you forever Massie."


	31. Chapter 30: Sorry

**Chapter 30: Sorry**

"_Everything inside…Never comes out right." _

_~Buckcherry _

**Massie POV **

I woke to back pains and cramps gripping at the lower half of my spine. Derrick's drool wet my shoulder as his soft, heavy breathing vibrated in my ear. I twisted my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, a mix of a hormones going through me. I felt hungry, in pain and turned on simultaneously.

Except for the drool, I could live without that.

My fingers raked along his stomach, wondering how he would react in his sleep. His stomach jumped as if he was ticklish and he turned himself on the bed. I tried to turn so that I remained closer to him, though the annoying, sharp pain attacked once more.

"Ouch," I groaned along with a few profanities. "Derrick."

He didn't stir.

"Derrick," I said a bit louder, watching as the peaceful state of his face twitched into awareness. I hated waking him up...but I was going to do it anyways, "Derrick."

"Hmm," he grumbled and turned over.

"Wake up," I shook his shoulder, "-ah, gah, this hurts."

"Mhmm," he grumbled.

_Stab, _"Derrick," I punched his shoulder, "Wake up, you ass."

He shot up, his body mirroring a ninety degree angle perfectly, "I didn't do it!"

"What the hell are you talking about? Can you please get me some aspirin and water?"

"Can't you get it yourself?" he whined.

"Fine," I huffed and began to move. I doubled over, "Jackass."

"Ok," he sighed and stood up out of the bed, "Ok, I'm going."

"Could you...grab me a cucumber and tomato sandwich while you're down there and some chocolate milk please?"

"Gah, Massie, that's disgusting."

"Please," I asked.

"Women," he grumbled as he shuffled out of the room.  
"Move with some purpose," I almost yelled. He escaped from the room quickly.

What is wrong with me? I had Derrick back, shouldn't I not hurt anymore. The stabbing came once more, causing me to moan in my fetal position. Did I need my appendix taken out? No, I'm pretty sure that my appendix was not located in my back.

Tears ran down my cheeks without my consent for no reason, and I felt the urge to either punch or hug someone. Why is my back hurting me? Why am I crying? What am I feeling and where the hell is Derrick with my sandwich?

"Why are you crying," Derrick appeared within a few moments. He handed me my sandwich and pulled me into his lap. I slapped him away,

"Get _off,_" I barked.

"…is this some weird manifestation of pmsing?" he asked, "Because you're scaring me."

"My fricking back is hurting me, and you're cracking jokes about my menstrual cycle?" my voice was even annoying me, "You're so insensitive."

"Should I leave," he shuffled towards the door awkwardly.

"Wait," I called out, "No, come back. I'm sorry. Something's just going on with me. Come back to bed, please?"

He complied, coming next to me wearily.

"I'm not going to bite."

"But you will slap, or punch," he snorted. "I'd rather the biting."

"Would you?" I said cheekily. Back pain forgotten, I crawled onto his lap and pushed him onto his back.

"Massie," he rolled me off of him, "You're really confusing me. Seriously, are you pmsing? No joke this time."

"I'm offering you sex, and you're turning me down," I huffed. "Really."

"I know, I can't believe it either," Derrick passed a hand through his hair, "OK. Forget me."

"Nah," I waved him off, the mood already shifted, "I don't feel like it anymore. Pass me my sandwich please?"

He handed me the sandwich, clearly frustrated. I felt horrible for leading him in so many directions, but it wasn't intentional. A range of emotions were disturbing me, throwing me off balance and pulling me into a personality that I didn't want to be in. As soon as I was about to apologize, Derrick cut me off,

"I'm going to go take a walk ok?" he informed me.

Afraid that I might burst into spontaneous tears if I spoke, I sent him off, wondering what in the world was wrong with me.

**Claire POV**

Hands traveled from my shoulders to the crooks of my arms while I sat at my computer.

"Cam...I'm working. I have to fill out this application," I shooed him; "Go, read a book or something."

"I have a surprise for you," he said cheekily, "But you're not getting it now."

"A surprise," my ears perked, "why?"

"Uh, uh, uh," he clucked his tongue, "No questions. You'll just have to wait."

"Cam," I huffed and spun around in the office chair, "if we have sex will you tell me?"

He feigned hurt, "You'd only sleep with me to get the surprise? Thanks."

"Exactly," I smiled, "Now come over here so I can use you."

He set down his workout bag and walked over to me pausing in front of me.

"I just came from the gym, I'm dirty," he informed me.

I ignored his as I waltzed up to and cornered him at the door. I snaked a hand around him to lock the door and felt slightly nervous as I clicked the button. I loved Cam, and I believed he loved me and found me beautiful...but I wanted him to find me sexy and I didn't know how to do sexy. Our love was always slow and calm but I wanted it to be different this time.

"This is um, new," Cam gulped.

"Shut up," I tried as confidently as I could. I had to bite my tongue to stop my giggle or my apology especially when Cam's eyes widened.

"Ok," he was barely audible.

My lips were barely touching his, so close that I could taste and feel every breath he took. I could smell the minty after trace of his gum from before. The skin of his lips was soft, as was mine, and I swear I could feel there pulse. Impatient, Cam leaned forward to connect his lips to mine. I pushed a little roughly to keep him in his place.

"Did I say you could move," I raised a brow. "Stay still."

I pushed my fingers up his shirt, feeling the hard plain of his stomach as I placed small kisses from his pulse to his shoulder. He squirmed beneath me, not knowing where to put his hands. "Be patient Mr. Fisher," I giggled.

The trail led back up to his neck, my tongue swirling and drawing on his tan skin. His chest was moving quicker now, due to his quick breaths.

Suddenly hands grabbed me and lifted me. Without thinking wrapped my legs around his torso and dropped my demanding façade. His lips enveloped mine, smashing against them roughly. He pulled on mine, sinking his teeth into my lip.

A loud whimper like sound escaped from my mouth, making me feel a bit self conscious seeing as we were in the study. Cam on the other hand, was undeterred and continued his attack on my lips.

I was just about to unbutton his shirt when the phone rang, splitting us immediately.

"Wait, don't get that," Cam raced to the phone. He mumbled a few words into the receiver before taking me by the hand and dragging me from out of the basement study.

"Where are we going," I whined. What a buzz kill for a mood.

"For your surprise," he smiled at me, his lips pink and kiss swollen, "Don't worry, we _will _finish later."

We jogged up the spiral of stairs before we were met with the front door. We paused at the opening, staring at it for a few moments. He looked as if he wanted to say something though didn't know how to.

"Is there any point to this," I asked.

"I want you to be open minded," he cautioned, "I know how you get...violent."

"I'm not violent," I defended, "I've been known to be innocent."

"You?" he scoffed, "Just, please, stay calm."

"Whatever, just show me it," I waved him off. It couldn't be that bad.

He opened the door, only to reveal a set of faces I hadn't in so long. Massie was within the center of these people, exchanging hugs and squeezing hands, accepting them so easily.

"Claire?"

I turned to face Jamie's slightly changed face, "What the hell are you doing here?"


	32. Chapter 31: True Friend

**Chapter 31: True Friend**

"_You know the secrets I could never tell."_

_~Miley Cyrus_

**Jamie POV**

I stood in front of Claire, my hands tightly gripping the other in discomfort. It felt like forever since I had seen my college friend. I had spent the past six months in Grenada with my Uncle after Keegan had left me crushed and used. The time had been quite enjoyable despite uncle's constant 'I told you so'.

It was in the past few days that I had received a call from Cam. I hadn't kept in contact with any of our group, simply because of pride. I knew the way I acted was unacceptable despite what I had thought Massie had done. _Ugh, I'm such a bitch. _

Having thought this for the past long hours, I nearly started weeping when Massie pulled me into a hug. I groveled at her feet, even though she claimed it was unnecessary, and that she forgave me. It was then that I realized that there was a part of Massie's personality that I had never witnessed. It was a part that I wished I could achieve in my own.

It was Claire who had switched roles with Massie in this event. I couldn't blame her seeing as we had all isolated her as well. After her exclamation she stormed inside, effectively dismissing us.

We were in the house for a few hours before Claire finally decided to unlock her room door and come down stairs. I couldn't meet her gaze as she came to stand in front of me. When I felt her slim but toned arms embrace me, I began crying.

"I'm so sorry," I cried, "I'm such a bitch."

"Yes," she cried, though laughed at the same time, "You are. But we all are sometimes."

A few more arms wrapped around us in the group as I realized that Alicia, Kristen and Massie had joined in on the hug.

"Where's Dylan," Massie asked as we pulled apart. I noticed her eyes were slightly red as well.

"Um, a few months ago," Kristen spoke, "Dyl went into relapse...so she can't travel until she's been deemed stable."

We were all silent.

"We should try and visit her soon," Chris rubbed Kristen's shoulder. We all murmured in agreement.

Massie's breath hitched, "You're married."

Kristen's face turned bright red, "Um no, engaged."

Thankfully they were only engaged. I had a feeling the healing process would be slightly strained if they had missed such an important event. Over the time Kristen and Chris had gotten engaged as well as Josh and Alicia. In the end it was planned that they would have joint weddings, and I would be crushed if any of us were unable to attend.

We all took positions on the couch. Everyone was with their significant other, snuggled lovingly in their arms. I felt my heart swell as we sat here together once again, yet I couldn't help but notice the jealous twinge that poked inside of me. I wanted someone like that. I wanted to be married and to be able to share kisses and loving hugs with someone. I sighed, reminding myself of the phrase I had taught myself over the half year. _You'll find your person Jamie, just wait..._

**Massie POV **

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry when Derrick showed me the gang. But I'd be unjust if I accepted Derrick's apology and didn't accept theirs. _It was all a misunderstanding, _I reminded myself as I grasped my old friends.

It hurt slightly when the boys were hesitant to hug me. Derrick had told me it was because they were worried to discomfort me. That having been said, I pulled them close to me.

Everyone expected that I'd be some anti-male recluse who would cringe as a man walked into the room. Sure, I'd probably never feel the same when a male touched me, but I knew not all men were like Dempsey. I couldn't blame the entire male population for the disgusting ways of one. I knew these boys, and they'd never hurt me intentionally.

Over the past few months the gang had moved back to New York and had planned on staying there. I had no intentions of moving away from California, and I hoped Derrick knew that. Here had become my home and I didn't want to leave, or have him leave me again.

We sat on the back patio, talking about events that had passed over these six months. At times an awkward silence would ensue, but that was expected. Half a year was a lot of time to miss out on and so many emotions had been passed.

The phone rang, startling the group. Derrick ran to go get it as we continued the conversation. Within a few minutes he came back and requested I come with him to the door.

"Derrick," I groaned, "I don't think I can take any more surprises."

"Um, Mass, a detective-"

Before he could finish, a man maybe in his mid forties approached us, dressed in a black suit. He was average height, was a bit overweight and had the cliché detective mustache.

"Good evening Mrs. and Mr. Harrington," he greeted.

"Oh, um, we're not married," I smiled.

The man chuckled, "That's not marriage certificate says. I hope you don't mind, I like digging a bit up on victims."

My mouth formed an 'o' as he shook my hand, "I'm law official Jonathon Hews. I'm working on your case."

"It's nice to meet you," Derrick shook his hand, "Officer Linkmen told me that there is some news about the case?"

"Yes," he coughed in his hanky, "About two days ago, we were onto a lead as to Mr. Dempsey Solomon's whereabouts. A witness clued us in, though unfortunately he was able to escape our watch."

I swore I felt thump in my stomach as this news came. I grasped my stomach, and dropped onto my knees feeling unbelievably nauseas. Arms wound around me and helped me to the lawn swing.

"He won't get you Massie," Derrick comforted.

"Yes, Mrs. Harrington, I assure you, you will be safe. We'll have two officials posted day and night until we find him."

I let out a breath, "Thank you."

"I just wanted to stop by and inform you and your friends to be on the watch," he warned.

"You think he'll try something?"

"I doubt it," he scoffed, "Officers are teeming here and well informed of what he looks like. There are flyers going around like mad too."

I sighed, "That's good."

"I'll leave you two, have a good evening folks," he smiled and then was off.

"Are you ok," Derrick gripped my hand, "Do you think you can walk inside?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, Derrick."

"I'm not the one who dropped," he teased playfully and kissed my head, "He will not get to you again. Do you understand?"

I nodded, "Let's go inside."

As we trailed back inside to face the others, I couldn't help but glance back at the dark night. There seemed to be so many dark and black spots that I couldn't identify the shapes. Despite Derrick and the detective's assurance, the hair on my body still stood up and I was beyond paranoid. I had been told before that he couldn't get to me and he did. Why should I believe them now? I checked one more time to make sure no one was following us. Sounds stupid right? But Dempsey could be anywhere waiting for me, ready to get me at anytime. I just hoped to God that someone would be there to save me when that time came.


	33. Chapter 32: Conspiracy

**Chapter 32: Conspiracy**

"_Tell me why I feel so alone…and tell me how I've lost my power." _

_~Paramore_

**Massie POV**

"Massie," Derrick said.

"Gah-" I gasped, "Derrick, you can't sneak up behind me like that!"

"I was walking _right _in front of you," he defended, "Look can we talk-"

My phone chose this exact moment to ring. I glanced at the caller ID, realizing I couldn't ignore the person calling.

I held a finger up to pause Derrick, "Massie Block."

"_Hi, this is Rita calling from the office." _

I listen as she droned on about some editing problem at the office, something about a misprint on a load of issues, and they needed me to come down and identify some of my earlier inputs as well as collect new proposals for additional pieces to the magazine.

"_Massie?" _

"Um, yah, what time do you need me there?"

"_In the next hour and half we were hoping." _

Way to take up my Saturday.

"Alright, I'll be there ASAP," I told her before shutting my phone.

"You do realize that you're supposed to say 'Bye' right?" Derrick chuckled, "Come sit on the couch with me."

I pushed away from the communal computer and trailed with Derrick to the couch. I dragged my fingers up and down his legs, drawing circles on his thighs. Derrick lay with his eyes closed for the moment, his breathing audibly broken.

I attached my lips to his neck, placing feathery kisses down the column. It had been too long since I had been intimate with Derrick without interruption. Admiring him was all I could do in this instant, brushing my fingertips down his torso, and drinking in everything about him. I could feel his strong digits trail up my back, rubbing carefully across the plain before traveling to the front and appreciating what was before him.

Soon I couldn't determine whose labored breaths were whose as we began to discard clothing. I didn't think I was ready to give myself to him fully again this time, but he seemed to be contented with just playing around.

Our bodies were flush against one another, moving and entwining as we sought more contact. We emitted delicious moans and groans, testimonies to our love and want of each other. Sure, anyone could make these sounds with any random person, but that wasn't the case with Derrick and me. This was music. And when the song was finally over, we were both left with grins, larger than that of a Cheshire cat.

"So, was there something you wanted to talk about," I chirped as I removed myself from his grasp.

"I-I can't think."

"Want to go for round two?" I teased about to climb onto his lap.

"Oh, gracious, no," he gasped, bolting upright, "I wouldn't be able to walk again. Or grow hair."

I snickered, "Wimp."

"Do you like- practice those kinds of things? Damn Massie," he leaned back again, "Give me a moment."

I waltzed the kitchen to grab some lemonade when the door swung open.

"Hey Cam," I called from the kitchen. "Want some Lemonade?"

"Sure," he sat down at the kitchen stools and I handed him a drink, "What's up with D," Cam jerked a thumb in Derrick's direction.

"I don't know," I shrugged innocently, "I think he was playing too hard."

Cam literally choked on his drink at the innuendo.

"I don't know how you waited so long to get laid," Derrick groaned, "I love women."

"Excuse you," I called.

"I love only one woman," he corrected himself; "I'm utterly whipped."

Cam's face was beet red by the time he finished hacking up his lungs.

"Claire will be home tonight," I suggested cheekily.

He gulped hard. Poor boy, "Right- so I'm going to go...take a shower or something. Good luck, D." Without even putting down the glass, he left the house to head to his own.

"So really Derrick," I sat down beside him, "You wanted to talk?"

"How the hell am I supposed to talk after that," he gazed at me lazily, "I think you broke me."

"Fine, I won't do it ever again then," I huffed at his childishness.

"NO!" he roared, "That was amazing, really."

"Glad you enjoyed it," I couldn't help but smile. I'd gone through some intimacy with Derrick, and not one problem. No flashbacks, no panic attacks; that was one thing I feared gravely.

"Massie," Derrick cleared his throat, "I have to leave...for a few hours."

I released the breath I had sucked in, "Oh ok, when?"

"At around five o'clock, so you'll already be at work."

I nodded, "Ok, I have no problem."

"I'm not done yet," he continued, "You'll be home by yourself until nine or ten."

"Oh," I understood, "I'll be ok."

"Wow Mass," he groaned, "That was convincing."

"No honestly," I slapped him, "Look, Dempsey's probably busy running away from here...and there are cruisers posted around here. I should be fine at the office too, they know about Dempsey there."

"Well, Claire may be home earlier from visiting her family," he informed me. That's right, Claire was returning home today after being gone for a week to New York. "She could come back earlier, but she'll probably reach later than me."

"Jamie's coming back too," I reminded him, "You know, to move back in?"

He nodded just as the doorbell rang. I glanced at the suitcases positioned at the door, a feeling a sadness clouding over the moment. Everyone was leaving today.

The gang rolled in from their brief Wal-Mart raid, white plastic bags clenched in their hands.

"Hey Mass," Alicia skipped over and planted a large kiss on my cheek. I pushed her away playfully, "So...did you, you know?"

We giggled as we cast a glance a Derrick. "It worked, very well."

"Where's Cam, come on we have to go," Chris announced.

"Honey, indoor voice," Kristen patted his arm before coming to sit by us.

"I'm here," Jamie called as she dragged in Cam, "I brought the boy as well."

"Damn Fisher, is that hickey still not gone," Alicia smiled cheekily. "It's ok, it shows you actually have some balls."

"Bye Alicia," Cam raised his finger to her, gaining a punch from Josh.

We all crowded as we said our goodbyes hugging and pecking. I bawled helplessly, feeling like a complete sap as I held my girls in my arms. After such a long separation, there was a short stay and now, another separation. The boys looked at us as if we were crazy, simply bumping fists and patting backs in their 'I'm scared to be considered a homo' way.

"Make sure you call, you have my number right," I called as they got in the car.

"Of course, we'll call as soon as we land!" Kristen called. "We love you!"

"I love you all too," I whispered as they drove away.

**The Sorority**

Before I made it to work, I ran a few errands, first starting at the pharmacy, then by dropping off a letter.

_ August 25__th__, August 25__th__, August 25__th__, _I written today's date down on so many forms, I swear if I even put a pen in my hand _August 25__th_would flipping write itself out.

I came into an empty, dark house, exhausted. Yes, I must be spoilt, because after only three hours at the office, I was tired. Maybe working from home has made me too soft.

I flicked on the light and shut the door, not even bothering to strip off my boots before flopping down onto the sofa. I giggled as I remembered the position Derrick and I had been in earlier. The noise of shuffling caught my ear, creating the thump in my stomach. It was odd how that seemed to be my reaction to feelings lately.

I walked carefully over to the window, peering outside. After realizing that it was only the trees, I retreated back to the sofa, knife in hand.

Sure, it seems creepy and slightly psychotic that I would sit, watching TV with a foot long, butcher knife sitting on the coffee table, but if it gave me comfort, I saw no problem in having it.

I nearly cut myself when the doorbell rang, at around 8:30. Derrick shouldn't be home yet. Before opening the door, I glanced with the peep hole, sighing when I realized who it was.

"Hello Officer," I smiled, "I don't think I've seen you on post before. First night?"

"I'm new of the force, but very reliable," he smiled back. "I was just doing the mandatory check. Is everything alright?"

"Perfectly fine," I nodded, "Do you need anything?"

"No, no," he shook his head, "I'm quite fine."

An awkward silence hung in the air as he stood there.

"Well...goodnight then," I slowly shut the door and locked it.

I kicked my feet up and lay back, watching Sponge Bob make a fool out of himself. I didn't understand why Derrick found this so amusing.

"_Awwww, I broke it," Patrick cried while holding the opened jar. _

I chuckled, "Oh, Patrick, you're so stupid."

The same shuffling happened once again, spurring the thump in my stomach. Instinctively, I reached forward to where I had placed the knife on the table, grasping at what wasn't there.

My heart didn't even have time to drop before the cold blade was pressed to my neck and the familiar and _almost _expected voice, sounded behind me.

"Are you looking for this?"


	34. Chapter 33: Emergency

**Chapter 33: Emergency**

"_I've seen you cry way too many times when you deserve to be alive." _

_~Paramore _

**Massie POV **

"I was kind of wondering when this would happen," I surprised myself with the calm tone I used.

The blade pressed closer to my jugular causing a great discomfort. I didn't even dare to swallow.

"Massie, Massie, Massie," Dempsey clucked while running his nose along my jaw. I couldn't suppress the disgusted shudder that ran through my body. His hand traveled to brush against my stomach, "I'm not going to kill you...this second."

"What are you going to do," I asked casually, "Are you sure you don't want to just get it over with before the _real _police come?"

"They're not coming," he snickered, "because as long as my friend out there is 'patrolling,' they've no reason to check."

"You will not rape me a third time," I said with conviction. "I'm not yours."

"Oh, but you are," he nipped at my ear lobe, "the weight you've put on has done you well."

I stayed silent, waiting for some type of pain. I would have braced myself, but there is no way you can brace yourself against having the rest of sanity and dignity taken away.

"Well aren't you a brave trooper," he sensed my resistance, "but you see I'm not going to do anything now."

"You're...not," I asked.

"Of course not," his cheery voice unnerved me, "I'm going to wait until your wonderful Derrington comes home."

"Dempsey, you have no qualms with him," I tried to be as confident as possible, "Don't hurt him. Do whatever you want with me-"

"Oh, I will," he smiled, "But I told you not to tell Massie, and what did you do? Poor, stupid, woman, I always follow through with my threats. Now, go and get two chairs, for when your hubby comes home."

_ Two chairs? He obviously wasn't expecting Claire and Jamie coming home._

He released me, shoving me forward and placing the knife on the counter. _What the hell? _He pulled a gun from out of his jacket. _Oh. _

"Put them facing each other," he ordered. I didn't even bother resisting in any way. I placed them as he told me to, my back aching as I moved the chairs. But I guess the pain was the least of my problems now. "Now, sit."

I plopped onto the chair and watched his movements. Dempsey reached for a sack and pulled out duct tape, those ridiculously hard to remove fasteners that you get on packages, and a pager.

He placed the fasteners around my wrists behind the chair pulling them extremely tight. He duct taped my feet separately to each leg of the chair, and then taped around my stomach.

It was as soon as he did this that keys began to rattle in the door, signaling Derrick's arrival.

"I'm not going to tape your mouth," he said, "But if you so much as utter a warning to _Derry, _all I have to do is press this button on the pager, and my friend will shoot anyone at your door, right here."

He poked at the center of my head.

As his blonde mane popped around the corner, a large smile stretched around his face, I couldn't help but start to cry. This was the one time I didn't want to see Derrick.

"Derrick, I'm so sorry," I wept.

The slap across my face created an almost embarrassing silence throughout the house.

"Shut. Up," Dempsey seethed, "No talking to him."

"You bastard," Derrick started towards Dempsey until the gun was held up.

"Uh, uh, uh," Dempsey cocked the gun, "Sit down _bro." _

Derrick immediately complied, walking to sit down across from me. His gaze held mine, trying to send across an indecipherable message. As Dempsey tried to bond him, Derrick attempted to grab the gun from him, failing miserably once Dempsey struck him in the head with the butt of the gun.

I shrieked at the crack of the gun against his, watching his eyes flutter shut as blood began to trickle from his temple. I was given the next blow to my mouth because of the sound. Tears ran down my face rapidly, mixing with the blood at my busted lip.

"Sh," Dempsey stroked my cheek gently, "Sh, Massie I'm sorry. Sh, you're ok. Just don't make any sounds."

_Sick bastard, _

The door rattled again as someone tried to unlock it. _Oh no, Jamie. _I can't save her...this is my entire fault.

"Sigh no more, I have arrived," Jamie slung her bag on the hook before turning to see the scene before her, "Our father, who art in heaven hallowed by thy name," Jamie shut her eyes and began praying, "thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day-"

"Hey, sexy ass, plant yourself right here," Dempsey ordered, grabbing a chair. "Say anything and you'll end up like those two over there."

"Our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..."

"Shut up," he raged. "I said don't say anything."

"Lead us not into temptation," he gave her a sharp slap across the face, but she hurried out the last line, "but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom the power and the glory forever."

"Are you done," he seethed.

She glared at him in response, "Go to hell."

"I'll meet you there," He snickered as he placed the barrel at the back of her head.

Thankfully, or maybe unfortunately, the door rattled. Figures Claire would surprise us by coming home early.

"Another one?" Dempsey sighed, left Jamie and positioned himself by the door.

I braced myself, waiting for a reenactment of the previous two people walking through the door. Innocent Claire will walk through the door, only to be abused and held hostage. I shut my eyes, not wanting to take in anything at all.

"Hey, do you guys know if Claire reached yet, she hasn't called me," Cam waltzed in, "Holy crap."

"Hey, Fisher, think fast," Dempsey pointed the gun at him, chuckling when Cam flinched. "Please, take a seat."

Cam waltzed over and grabbed a seat, plopping down into it.

"Don't try anything," Dempsey reminded, "I swear to God I'll shoot. Alright," he straightened up from tying Cam.

A groan sounded as Derrick began to come around. The fastener dug into my wrists further as I strained to reach out to him.

"Morning, bitch," Dempsey chirped, "You're awake for the events."

Dempsey trailed over to me and began brushing his fingers against my cheek. An involuntary scream rang from my lips. His palm heatedly met my face.

"Get your hands _off _of her," Derrick pulled against the restrain.

"What exactly will you do if I don't," he brushed his lips against my bloodied ones, causing my eyes to blind once more.

_God, please stop this. _

"I don't know what he'll do, but if you don't take your hands off her," a voice sounded from the doorway,

"I will gladly whoop your ass."

**Claire POV**

I'd finally decided to have my closure. It'd been much too long, and I'd not heard from my mother or brother. It was planned to be a surprise visit, but I wondered if what I was met with would surprise me more than it would surprise them.

The short stay had been filled with great rises and falls of emotion, and in the end we had come to a breakable peace. My mother seemed to be getting better, still resentful, but not verbally abusive. Todd had been the harder one to crack.

No joke, I had been locked out of the house once he realized my arrival, I was out there for three hours before he finally decided to allow me into the house.

Words had been yelled, tears had been shed and a few cuss words appeared here and there, but finally, when it was all quiet we were able to reconcile.

Feeling utterly exhausted, I rode home, barely able to think. The thought of Cam pushed me forward. All I wanted to do was just cuddle into him, and forget my family as well as all my problems.

After what seemed like an endless highway and stretch of roads, I pulled into our driveway, noticing something off about the scenery. There, positioned right in front of our door was the police cruiser, the light on and the officer nodding his head to the music. _That's odd. _

I strolled up to the cruiser and ducked my head down, pulling out my best acting moves.

"Night officer," I smiled widely, leaning my chest forward.

He choked on his donut, "Well, goodnight."

"Do you mind if I sit in here for a while," I played hopeless, "It's kind of chilly out here."

"Um, I don't think that's a good idea," he answered. "Perhaps you should head to your house."

"I'm waiting for a friend to meet me here," I told him casually, "Mind if I just warm up."

"Is it a guy friend," the officer hinted.

"Not at all," I winked and climbed in. As I sat inside and rubbed my arms dramatically, I took glances around the cruiser, taking in everything and processing it. Finally my eyes rested on the badge in the door pocket.

_Officer Juarez _

"So you're officer..." I trailed.

"Jonathan," he said, "Officer Jonathan."

Oh dear Lord Almighty. Something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. I don't know what exactly, but somehow I knew that Massie wasn't ok inside that house, and it had something to do with this fake officer. Too many things were off about this cop. For one, the police car was not meant to be in sight of our house. Secondly, no cop in their right mind would kick their feet up and jam to Kings of Leon while on duty. Lastly, I had been given a list of all the patrolling officers who would be guarding us, and _Officer Jonathan Juarez _was not one of them. Officer _Edgar _Juarez was.

Ok, Claire, you need to get rid of this one, and get inside...call the police first and then get inside the house. But how do I..._Cam, please forgive me. _

"So I was thinking," I tried my hardest not to grimace as I crawled onto the strangers lap, "Officer _Jonathan, _that we could...occupy ourselves until my friend comes."

I winked suggestively and 'giggled' as he nodded nervously. He placed his hands against my hips and pulled me closer to him as he began to kiss my lips. I held back the scream I wanted to emit as his hands passed over my body.

As I...distracted him, I used my knee positioned on the other side to feel if he had a gun. The hilt of the gun in its holster hit my knee; bingo.

"Take this off," I tapped the gun, "I'd rather the explosions not happen from _this _gun."

"I-I don't think that's possible," he grunted, as he heatedly pushed me against the dashboard.

"Just drop it in the door pocket, I promise, I'm not dangerous," I added a southern lilt to my voice. "Come on."

He absent mindedly removed it and placed it in the door pocket. Luckily, it was such a small car that if I reached down quickly and if he was distracted enough, I could grab the gun.

"I'm a real neck and chest kind of woman," I hinted as I guided his head down. I needed to get the gun before his grimy, pizza stained lips reached my breasts.

He was involved enough that I was able sink my hand down and grasp the handle of the gun. With as much speed and strength as I could muster, I whipped the gun from the door pocket.

A hand stopped me before I was able to strike. My hand crashed painfully against the window, a shot firing, and the glass shattering. The shards dug into the back of my arm, stabbing me painfully. The gun flew out of the window.

In a quick move, I jerked my head forward, ramming my forehead into his, causing him to release me for a dizzying moment. His eyes shut for a few moments, allowing me to unhook myself from his body and get out the car.

I reached for my pocket plucking out the Blackberry.

"…_What is your emergency?" _

My heart leapt when I heard Cam's familiar whistling of the Flintstones.

"_Hello, ma'am or sir…what is your emergency?"_

I snapped back into the present, "I need help- I'm outside and a man is unconscious in a car trying to hurt me and I think my friend is being held hostage…"

"_Ok, calm down," _the dispatcher soothed, _"Where are you?" _

"I'm in Cinco -"

My air was cut off violently as the device was ripped from my hands. It flew meters away from me, onto the pavement, shattering.

Officer Jonathon's arm kept me in a tight head lock as he held me on the ground. Losing breath, I used my free arm to elbow him in the groin. With a gruff, he rolled off of me.

With as much strength as I could, my foot connected to his abdomen. I could feel my stomach roll with the feeling of his stomach around my foot.

_It's either you or him and if it's you then it's Massie, and Derrick, and Jamie…and Cam as well. _

"It's not going to be me," I grabbed his oily hair and with one quick motion I slammed his forehead into the car door. I shut my eyes tightly and repeated the motion three times until he didn't fight back anymore.

As I found the hand cuffs and secured him to the door I did a quick prayer for him, praying to God he wasn't dead.

I spent a few more seconds searching for the gun before Massie's scream rang from the house. Without waiting a second longer I sprinted to the door and entered the house, one thought screaming in my mind as I took in the scene before me.

_It's sure as hell not going to be me._


	35. Chapter 34: Miracle

**Chapter 34: Miracle**

"_I've gone for too long, living like I'm not alive… So I'm going to start over tonight." _

_~Paramore_

**Massie POV **

"Who the hell invited Mary Little Lamb," Dempsey laughed. "Alright, come on, grab a seat."

A look of stone was set in Claire's face as she spoke, "I won't be sitting. I suggest you step away from them."

Dempsey snorted, "I don't think you understand, I can have you killed in this second," he pulled out the pager. My breath hitched as his finger lay positioned over it. "One press of this button and my friend out there will blow your pretty head."

I have to say that above the knife being taken, above Dempsey appearing out of nowhere, and above the fear of me seeing my friends walk into this hostage joint, nothing scared me like the sound of Claire's laughter.

Her face brightened red as she guffawed uncontrollably. It was once she straightened up that she whipped out something in front of her, still shaking from her fit.

"Oh," she heaved, "You're friend out there is going to shoot me? With what, _this _gun?" She continued laughing harder, clutching her stomach as she bent over.

Dempsey's expression, for once, looked unsure as Claire stood there.

"Your friend is a little occupied," she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, "Now. Let me just get something straight. I just traveled for about 24 hours, confronted my depressed mother, yelled with my stubborn ass brother, let a complete stranger grope on me, and then beat him within inches of his life-I'm a bit senile right now. So I'm telling you to step away now."

"You don't scare me."

She cocked the gun confidently, aiming in between his eyes, "Kudos."

Dempsey cocked his own gun at Claire, as if daring her to shoot. I took this moment to lunge. With as much as I could muster, I threw myself into him, the chair knocking him over, flat onto the ground.

The gun met my head causing a dizzying stupor to cloud my vision momentarily.

_Bang. Bang. _Two gunshots were fired. I shook my head, my vision clearing and the scene focusing before me.

Claire held both guns securely, her hands shaking as they pointed on Dempsey.

She took two strides, meeting Dempsey, who was scrambling on the ground. In a quick movement, she struck him across the face.

"Get up."

He crawled away before she kicked him, "I said get up!"

Dempsey stumbled as he rose, falling back on the wall that Claire had cornered him into. Blood trickled from his mouth and by his eyebrow.

Claire pressed the mouth of the gun to his temple, sneering, "I could kill you," she growled, "but I'm not inhumane like that."

The second gun pressed to his crotch, Claire's fingers at the trigger readily, "Though, for what you did to Massie, I could ensure that you're _never _able to do it again."

Even I could hear the gulp that Dempsey took. It was at that moment that everything seemed even more silent in the room. The only sound was Dempsey's hard breathing.

"But that's up to Massie," Claire's cold eyes met mine, "What do you want me to do?"

I stared at the life before me. I couldn't even call him a man. Twice, _twice, _he had stolen from me and each time, had left me broken and used afterwards. He abused me endlessly, heart and soul…and yet, I couldn't let her do it. I couldn't let Claire do something that I knew would break her later on. Dempsey was the animal, not her.

"No Claire," my voice was rough, "I don't want you to-"

A smack sounded as Claire was sent reeling back crashing into the coffee table. Cam's yells meshed with the sound of the glass shattering. He struggled against his restraints as Dempsey lunged towards Claire. As awful as it sounded, the only thing I was focused on was whether Claire had the guns or Dempsey had the guns. Thankfully, Claire still had possession.

Dempsey's hands grasped for the guns, failing as Claire moved her hands from his reach. In one quick move Dempsey struck Claire in the face.

I didn't even see her hesitate. She retaliated with a strike across his face, the butt of the gun making contact with his temple. When she tried to bash him with the other hand, he grabbed the hand twisting her wrist in a sick angle.

Claire's scream rang through the house. It was odd to see how we were all facing our own torture while restrained even though we were feeling the lesser of the physical pain that was in this room. Tears streamed in a constant flow down Jamie's face as she chanted the Lord's Prayer, Cam pulled at his restrains to no avail, and Derrick had shut his eyes, as if willing everything to be a horrible dream. I just stared, still on the floor, watching as Claire fought for all of our lives. As weird as it sounded, I felt that if I kept my eyes on Claire, if I stayed awake and conscious through this that I was staying loyal to Claire. I thought that if I stayed awake then she'd have to stay awake too.

"It's ok, Claire," I whispered. I knew she couldn't hear me, but I had to say some words of comfort.

The gun flew from her hands, landing towards the door. _One more gun…_

His fist connected to her face once again. The smack his fist made was audible and disgusting. A few seconds later, Claire lifted her head and rammed it into Dempsey's.

While they fought, I wondered how a human could take so much bashing and injuries in one go. It seemed as if they were unfazed as each of them struck each other. As if no pain was coming from the blows and their minds were set on the destruction of the other.

Finally, there was a change. But it wasn't one for the better. Dempsey's hands gripped Claire's neck, and began squeezing. Claire gasped and choked, her face turning red.

A new sensation came over me; one that felt as if I was tipping into unconsciousness and yet still awake. It wasn't until my lungs screamed at me that I realized I was holding my breath. Cotton filled my ears and mouth, and my eyes seemed as if they couldn't focus on anything. Cam's pain filled sobs erupted from behind me. It was all too much. I closed my eyes.

_ I saw Claire glance at the charm bracelet that adorned my wrist as I took my sorrows out on the gummies. _

"_I can't believe you're actually wearing the charm my parents bought you," Claire shook her head. _

"_Oh yeah, well, it's cute," I offered. _

"_Really? I thought you'd hate it," Claire said, "I told my parents to go with the gold crown or the letter M but they insisted on the microphone because they said you used to like singing." _

"_The truth is, I kind of did," I gave Claire a tiny genuine smile; "I actually went through a phase where I really liked musicals. I'd lock myself in the sauna room and sung songs from Annie and Pippin." _

"_Are you serious?" _

"_If you tell anyone, I'll make your life miserable." _

_We giggled. _

"_Well," I said as I slid my charm bracelet up and down my arm, "Thanks for saving me tonight." I dropped my gaze toward my pointy shoes and massaged my temples with one hand. I hated to admit it, but it was the truth, "I had fun." _

I stroked the small microphone charm as I opened my eyes. My eyes were opened, but Claire's eyes were closed.

Cam's sobs were the only sound in the room. I looked at Claire's lifeless face, peaceful and still. Dempsey moved off her body, and plucked the gun out of her hand. He walked over to me and bent down at my level.

His bloodied hands stroked my face, "I've always loved you Massie. You'll always be mine."

I shut my eyes again, this time bracing myself, waiting for a new torture to begin. But it never came.

A gust of wind passed my face. I opened my eyes fast enough to see Dempsey drop to the ground and Claire standing over him with my bat in her hands.

"I told you I'd whoop your ass."

**The Sorority**

"Are you sure you're ok," Derrick wrapped his arm around me as he sat beside me on the curb. Initially I flinched, but calmed as soon as I heard his voice. I nodded in response to his question.

"Come on, Mass, talk to me. You haven't talked since the police have come."

I took a deep breath, coughing from the dryness of my throat, "This…was my entire fault," I finally shared my thoughts. "If I had just turned him in the first-"

"Hey," his pulled my chin to face him gently, "don't you ever think that. The only person that can be blamed here is Dempsey. Do you understand me?"

I nodded.

"_Massie_-"

"Ok," I sighed, "I believe you. Just give me some time ok?"

He began to move away from me.

"Not like that," I held his hand tightly, "I just meant, for me to get back to normal. Something just still feels wrong with me ok? I don't know why I keep thinking that our lives won't go back to normal after this."

"We'll see what happens," Derrick nodded, "But whatever comes, I'll stick with you through it."

**Cam POV**

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stay in the back of the ambulance truck."

"I need to go see my girlfriend," I told him.

"I'm sure she's fine," he patted my shoulder, but gave me a stern look, "Do _not _move."

"Fine," I glared at him as he walked off. The second he turned I ran to where Claire was sitting.

"Cam," she croaked as she pulled me into a hug. I barely wrapped my arms around her not wanting to damage her any further.

I couldn't stop the tears from spilling down my face. I didn't care if I seemed any less manly for it, I loved Claire with more than my being and I hoped she knew that.

"I thought you were dead," I coughed as I placed kisses on her face.

"I thought I was too," she was barely audible, "I don't know what came over me. I just knew I had to live. I had to save you."

"You saved me baby," I pulled her lips to mine, needing to feel her.

"How can you touch me after everything I did? I was an animal. Dempsey still hasn't regained consciousness. They don't know if he'll ever wake up. The other guy is still in critical condition," she choked on her last words, gasping as she cried.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known," I brushed my thumb against her bottom lip, "You are so strong."

She broke down into my chest, letting everything go from the night. All I could do was whisper into her ear how beautiful and strong she was.

"I love you Cam" she bawled, "I've always loved you. I don't even want to go to sleep because I'm scared that if I close my eyes, you won't be there when I wake up."

I brushed her hair back as I cradled her in my chest, "Sleep Claire. I won't let anyone separate us again."

With those words she closed her eyes and dozed off. As I stared into her beautiful face, and I couldn't help but place a kiss on my girl.

"I love you too, Claire."

**Jamie POV**

"You still shaking," I looked up to see his handsome, chocolate face and kind eyes watching me.

"I-I'm ok," I tried to give him a smile, "Just the shock."

"Yeah," he sat down next to me, "It takes a while to get back to normal."

"I bet you see worse every day saving lives and all," I turned to him, "don't you?"

He chuckled, "But that doesn't make your experience any less. That must have been horrible for you."

I put my head down, "I didn't even do anything. I was just sat in the back praying."

"From what I heard you were tied up. There was nothing you could have done. And in my book, praying can be just as strong as fighting back."

I smiled, "Thanks. I really needed to hear that."

"Now if you don't mind I have to make sure everything else with you is alright."

"Go ahead."

He pressed the stethoscope to my chest and ran a few tests on me. By the end of the tests my hands were still quivering. The EMT noticed.

"You're hands are still shaking," he chuckled. He looked both ways before reaching behind his neck and taking off the cross chain that was around it. "Now I have to go and check on some of your friends, but how about you hold onto this to calm you down. It always helps me."

He clasped the chain on my neck and got up to leave.

"Wait," I called, "I don't know your name."

"I don't know yours," he shrugged with a smile and began to turn.

"Wait," I called out again, "but how am I supposed to give you back your chain?"

"Somehow, I think I'll be seeing you again," he chuckled and left.

_ Hm, I hope so, _I thought as I watched him walk away. I stroked the cold metal of the cross, noticing that my hands had finally stopped shaking. I took in the entire scene before me. Dempsey and his friend were being wheeled into their trucks, the policemen were in and out of our house, Massie and Derrick lay on the curb and Claire was sleeping in Cam's arms. I expected the pang of loneliness to stab me as I watched the couples comfort each other, but surprisingly it never came. I held onto the cross tighter than before and said a quick prayer of thanks. As I watched the stranger EMT walk around, I knew that my life was about to change for the better. I chuckled to myself as I closed my eyes. This night was nothing short of a miracle.


	36. Chapter 35: Untouched

**Chapter 35: Untouched **

"_Right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me." _

_~The Veronicas_

**Derrick POV**

"Here Mass," I placed the cup of tea next to her while she reclined in the sofa, "What's up with you? Normally I'm the one fainting from shopping."

"I don't know," she sighed, "It's only been two weeks since the Dempsey incident I'm still a bit fuzzy I think."

"_The sun will come out…tomorrow," _

She threw the pillow into my face, "You sing _horribly." _

I dropped onto the other couch, pulling the pillow onto my face as I lay there, my mind still running about. It seems like things were still toppled over since Dempsey had held us hostage. All of us were still a little shocked from it, but basically we had returned to normal.

Massie and I went shopping today, one of the first times we've been able to do something together for a while. We'd all been caught up in our work. Cam and I were busy with a new deal with a line of hotels wanting to buy boats from us, something that gives major publicity and Massie seemed up to her elbows in editing articles and stories.

I linked my hands through her fingers as we had walked through the mall. I'd been thinking how nice it was to do that. I never had a serious girlfriend in the past ten years, and here I was with my first, completely in love and actually _happy._

Then she had to go and faint.

I don't know if she kept a little container in which my balls were held captive, but wherever she kept them –she definitely had them. I almost pissed myself as she began to drop. I think I deserve to be cocky about my reflexes though, seeing as I caught her.

I pestered her endlessly in the car, causing her to snap at me. I couldn't blame her because even my mother, not the world's most pleasant woman, wasn't that annoying.

I heard sniffling in front of me. I pulled off the pillow only to see Massie crying. I nearly slammed my head into the coffee table. Why were girls so dang complicated? Massie had been up and down in emotions the past few days and I know I promised I'd stick with her through it, but does that mean I can't feel like running to Canada? I wanted to blame it on PMS seeing as she hadn't gotten her period this month yet. Don't even ask me how I know that.

"What's wrong Massie?" I asked, opening up my arms to her.

She shook her head and turned her head away, "You don't care –I know that tone Harrington."

Harrington. Ouch.

"Come on Mass, I do want to know, I just hate that you're crying," I tried keeping the whiny tone out of my voice.

"I don't know how you're even still here; I'm a sopping, emotional, _fat _mess,"

"You're not fat," I told her. I received another pillow for the joke. "Oh come on Massie-"

"If you say 'come on Massie' one more time I'll split end your perfectly fluffed hair," her brown eyes were icier than Claire's Antarctic ones.

"Hey- we don't screw with the hair," I reminded.

I received the finger.

"Come-"

"Derrick."

"_Over _here Block," I patted my lap.

"I'm not a _dawg,_" she glared.

"Massie."

"Fine," she got up and plopped down on top of me, her thighs against my thighs and her chest below my chest. Man she's short.

"I'm sorry for being incensitive," I tried to capture her lips but she pulled back. My eyebrow rose on its own accord.

"And,"

"You're not a dog," I tried again. She pulled back and leaned off of me. I missed the warmth of her body. Sure she had gained more weight but I didn't care, she was still beautiful in my book, and her ass looked rounder. This was always a plus in my book…

"You're about to get me on a plane to Timbuktu if you don't guess it right."

"You're not fat and you're the sexiest woman alive to me," I leaned in, finally able to snatch her lips. She kissed me back fiercely, chewing and biting on my lip. "You do have competition with Jessica Alba though…"

She bit my lip, and hard. I groaned but this time out of pain, "Massie!"

"Wimp," she giggled then teased, "But maybe Jessica Alba wouldn't have done that…"

This woman is going to kill me… I ran my fingers over her sides feeing the thickness of her. I could feel a smile come to my lips.

She pulled back, "What are you smiling about?"

"Your body," I snickered, "Feels different again."

She scooted completely away from me, "I-I'm going to lose some weight I promise…"

"No," I said quickly, "Please don't. I like this. I like you not feeling so…breakable."

She rolled her eyes and leaned forward, pressing a soft, chaste kiss on my lips, then at my chest, and after lifting up my shirt, on my abdomen.

"I think I like where this is going," I said absent mindedly. My lower stomach was heating as I began to get excited. My breath flew out as Massie's teeth sunk into my stomach. I shut my eyes, taking in the feeling of her kissing the same spot.

The most annoying thing happened, the phone rang.

"Massie I have to get the phone," I said lamely. I didn't even attempt to move as she went lower.

"No you don't," she growled. "If you move, there'll be consequences."

I shivered at her threat, "You're not making this easier."

The phone began ringing again, but Massie's nails dug into my sides as she held me there. I swear I could feel myself about to tip off the edge just from her actions. A groan was building deep in my chest as she raked her nails down my chest.

I mumbled incoherently until I groaned unbelievably loud. I knew Jamie was upstairs in her room, but I couldn't care less. It grew as my stomach muscles clenched.

"Derrick?"

Have you ever had a moment when you wanted to shoot yourself? When you wish you could just pull an ostrich and shove your head far down in the ground. How about when you were so completely turned on and then all of a sudden you wanted to puke? Or maybe, you were so embarrassed that you didn't think you could ever get out of your room? I'm a grown man, and I was experiencing all of these things all at once. I'm pretty sure Massie was too. She had moved to the other couch faster than Amy Winehouse racing away from rehab.

Because I knew I'd die –or be killed –when I opened my eyes, I kept them shut for a few seconds longer. Well at least until I knew I _had _to open them. There standing at the door, was a tall woman with bleached hair, brown eyes, a plastic nose and a familiar scowl on her lips. In two flashes, I zipped up my crotch and pulled down my shirt, meeting her in two strides at the door. I couldn't even look at her, I was so embarrassed. Massie didn't even bother to get up, and I couldn't blame her.

Then I said the words I didn't think I'd ever have to say when in California and _especially _when I was about to be intimate with my girlfriend.

"Hey….mom…."

**Massie POV**

"So, Mrs. Block, how was the flight?" I tried at conversation. We sat around the kitchen table

"Fine," she answered curtly. Her body was solely facing Derrick, obviously excluding me from the conversation. "So you're dating her now?"

"Mom, she's still at the table," Derrick defended.

"I'm very aware of that," Mrs. Block replied, "are you?"

"Yes mother," Derrick gritted, "Can we please not talk about that now?"

Talk about what? I glanced at Derrick who seemed to be looking everywhere but at me. Why did I feel like the two of them knew something that I didn't? I took in the site of them, positioned next to each other, and to distract myself created a list of similarities and all though there were few to none, differences. They both had the exact tone of soft blond hair that was an interesting combination with their deep honey eyes. High cheek bones and a strong jaw, physical characteristics Derrick had inherited from his handsome mother.

"How was England," she asked him, "That was quite the sudden move. I didn't receive calls from you. Just one line e-mails, Derrick."

"I'm aware of that," he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Just clearing my head."

"I suppose you were the cause of that," Mrs. Block finally acknowledged me, "again."

My mouth popped open, forming a small 'o'. I could feel my cheeks ignite as I pushed back my seat, about to launch at the witch.

"OK," Derrick grabbed my hand and kept a light restraint on me, "Mother, how about I get you settled around the house. Mass, could you maybe, go find Cam? I know he'd love to see mom."

"Right after I tell this bitter-"

"_Massie,_" Derrick interrupted sharply, "Please."

I let it go in one deep breath, deciding that I would try and be the better person. I've come to the conclusion that I don't need to be a bitch unnecessarily, but that didn't mean I would let someone walk over me, even if it was Derrick's mother.

"It's nice to see you still have _some _control over her," Mrs. Block snickered as she patted Derrick on the chest.

In two strides I was facing Derrick. I grabbed his cheeks and pulled his face down to mine, enveloping his mouth in a heated kiss. His bottom lip snapped from my teeth as we pulled apart. I knew it was unfair to him, but I had to prove my point. I lifted up his shirt, pointing out the bright red and slightly blue hickey to his mother.

"No, sweetie," my smile was smug as I waltzed the kitchen door, "_I _have control over _him." _

**The Sorority**

"What the _hell _was that about," I slammed our room door as soon as Derrick crossed the threshold. He looked as if he wanted to sprint back out. If his explanation wasn't satisfactory then he would need to sprint back out.

"She's just a little upset that's all," Derrick raised his hands in defense, "I'm sure she didn't mean any of that."

"That's crap and you know it," my blood boiled, "That wasn't upset –that was 'I hate your ass."

He winced, not bothering to object.

My sudden fury leveled out, "She hates me?"

Derrick stared at me a few seconds before nodding. I felt a lump form in my throat as I sat down on the bed.

My voice wavered, "Still?"

"We've all gotten over this Massie, it's not a big deal. It doesn't matter what my mother thinks…"

I let out a long breath, "Listen to yourself Derrick, 'it doesn't matter what my mother thinks-' of course it does. She's your mother, and if anything I would not separate your relationship."

"I can't have a relationship with her if she won't have one with you."

I glared at him, "Stop that. You love her Derrick, and you don't have to convince me you don't. You'll only make me out to be the woman your mother thinks I am. The one that got you handcuffed and strip searched."

He swallowed at this, pulling my hand into mine, "That's in the past."

"Not to her," I argued as I took mine out of his gently, "And as much as I love you and want to stay with you, I can't be with you while she's here."

Derrick's expression broke, "You're asking me to pick between you and my mother?"

I sighed, "Of course not," I shook my head, "I didn't mean leave you like that! I meant I can't be in this house with her here because I'm sure you wouldn't take too kindly to me insulting your mother, _especially _to her face."

His breath left him in a sigh of release, "You can't leave me here with her," he groaned.

"Hey," I held his cheeks, "I don't want you making that sound, unless I'm making you make that sound."

A smirk played at his lips as I pecked them, "I hope you enjoyed that, because I won't be _near _you while that –woman is here."

"She's not that bad Massie."

"She talked about me in third person and I was right there," I scowled. "I loved that look she got on her face when she saw the hickey."

"Was that necessary? Really? Because the look on my face wasn't happy."

"Fine, next time, none of that then," I shrugged before scraping my teeth against his ear, "See you later Derrick, I'll be staying back at _my _house."

He through a fit, "Ugh, Mass don't let her be a cockblocker! We can still finish up now."

I wagged my finger, "No, because apparently, it's unnecessary."

The pillow muffled his frustrated yelling, "I'm. Such. An. Ass." I was able to make out.

"Hm, no," I chuckled, "You're without my ass. I'll call you to say goodnight ok?"

Derrick loped off the bed and made his way over to me, placing a soft kiss against my lips, "Are you sure you can't just stay, I'll be missing you."

"What would your mother say if I walked downstairs for breakfast tomorrow morning," I quirked. His expression answered me perfectly, "Alright then."

"I'll be waiting for that call," he placed another sweet kiss, "Don't forget."

"I won't," I chuckled as I left the room. Derrick called me five times after I left that night, reminding me to call him. I smiled as I hung up my last call on him. You'd think the constant talking would annoy me but truth be told, I think I missed Derrick just as much as he missed me. But his stupid mother was in his house and I refused to be in the same room as her. So until she was gone, Derrick was going to have to sleep in a cold bed, and so was I.

**Claire POV**

"If you don't stop complaining, we won't have sex for weeks," I growled at Cam who turned out to be a pain to shop with. I already didn't like doing it, but he was making this worse. If anything else contributed to my already aggravated state, I just might punch somebody. I pulled on the fifth dress and then stepped out of the changing room.

"What do you think about this one," I asked Cam who had grown so tired that he was sitting on the floor of the store.

"It looks amazing," he said. I would have been flattered, had he not said that for the previous five dresses.

"Cam," I nearly threw a tantrum, "You've said that for everything I've tried on."

"I'm telling you the truth!" he groaned, "Everything you put on looks amazing. Can we _please _go now?"

"One more thing ok, I have a viewing party for a new part I want to audition for, I have to try this on," I told him. He sighed and leaned his head back, shutting his eyes in reply.

I tugged on the corseted top, admiring the way it gave me cleavage and complemented my skin. I didn't think that such an icy tone of blue could make me look good. I also thought that it would look tacky with the jean shorts. The only problem, I couldn't tie the back.

"Cam," I called.

"What," he growled from the other side.

…Was he _annoyed_? I don't think I'd ever heard that from Cam. It's not as if he wasn't ever allowed to be annoyed with me but…I didn't like the feeling. I decided to make him squirm.

"Are you," I sniffled, "angry with me?"

I could hear Cam shuffling as he stood up outside of the changing room. He knocked on it, "Can I come in?"

"I don't want to force you," I let my voice crack in the appropriate places, "I-I'm just going to get changed now, I'll be out soon. I promise."

"Claire –are you crying?"

"No," my voice implied otherwise; although, technically I was telling the truth.

The door sounded as he let himself in, his face displaying two different emotions. The first was surprise at my dry face, and I think the other was mere shock at what I was wearing.

"You're not crying," he noted.

"Smart boy," I smiled, "Help me tie this up."

"I don't know how I thought you were innocent," Cam grumbled as his fingers began to lace up the corset. He was about half way when he detoured. His hands held the curve that the corset gave me, appreciating it. They traveled upwards, brushing over the neck line and then stroking the skin that bubbled over the top.

I controlled my voice, beginning mockingly, "Come on, I don't have all day. And you were _so _determined to leave; I don't think we should postpone our departure any further."

"You need to be quiet," he whispered to me.

"What-"

His lips brushed at my neck causing sound to build up in my throat. Oh, this is what he meant by being quiet. That would be impossible though, Cam likes to make fun of me constantly for the fact that I'm...vocal.

Hands turned me to face him, pushing me against the changing room wall roughly as lips captured mine in a frenzied, hot kiss. My legs were pulled onto his hips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Thankfully, the door was a complete one, not leaving any space to capture us in this compromising position.

In one movement, I pulled his body closer to mine causing thud against the wall.

"Sh," he laughed. I couldn't stop myself from giggling alongside him.

"Ma'am," a woman sounded from the other side of the door, "Are you alright in there."

"Maybe if we're quiet she'll go away," Cam mumbled against my lips.

"Ma'am," she knocked. I pushed Cam's face away from mine.

"Yes w- I'm ok," I stuttered as his lips were at my neck, then my collarbone…

"Oh, it's just that- I heard a thud, I was wondering if you were hurt," she continued. Cam ground himself into me, his hand stifled my moan as he continued.

"Ma'am," the door handle rattled.

"It was just my purse," I managed to reply, "I'm fine, really."

"Alright," She replied. It wasn't even two seconds after she left that the stores jean shorts were being unbuttoned.

"We can't do this here," I gasped. It seemed as if my boyfriend wasn't listening right now. Or rather, didn't care.

Something vibrated a little too close to my danger site, causing my cheeks to heat in embarrassment. However what I was embarrassed about, I didn't really know.

"What is that," I giggled.

"That's…my phone," his words were mumbled as tried to shift me.

"Don't you dare remove that phone," I whispered harshly. "Call them back when we're done."

He returned his hand to my neck, caressing at my skin, and causing the world's greatest intake of breath. I could feel his tongue against my skin, excitedly tasting me as if I were the most delicious thing on Earth. The phone began to vibrate again.

"I have to answer, it's probably important," Cam pulled his lips away from me, whipping out his phone.

"Cam," he answered.

I couldn't even focus on the first half of his conversation I was so worked up. I considered finishing myself, seeing as I was so tightly wound. That was before I heard the alarm in his voice.

"What's wrong," I sat up quickly, stripping down and then zipping my own clothes up. I packed my purse, completely forgetting about the clothes.

"Ok- we're, coming now, get her to lie down ok? No, don't call the paramedics we're coming to help you now."

I didn't even have to ask I was already running from the changing room and out of the store. I'd have to deal with those clothes later, but knowing that there was something wrong, it didn't matter.

Cam caught up with me at the car, hardly waiting for me to buckle up before driving over the speed limit. I wanted so badly to know what it was that had happened, but I couldn't bring myself to ask.

We were at my door within five minutes, shaving two minutes off the normal time it would take to get from the store. I sprinted to the door, barging in and wincing at the groans filling the room. Massie kneeled by the couch, her back to us as she was bent over in pain. She was holding Derrick's hand, his knuckles white from the force of her hand.

"Massie," I raced over bending down next her and brushing her hair back. Her cheeks were bright red and sheen of sweat across her forehead, "What does it feel like?"

"Cramps," she squeezed out, "Derrick's overreacting."

"What are we waiting for, let's take her to the hospital," Derrick's voice was shaking.

Massie's body went from rigid to limp within a matter of seconds, her breathing labored. She let out a sound that was between a cry and a sigh.

"No –no hospital," she gasped, "I'm _fine." _

Her tone was clipped as her body went into spasms again. This time her other hand clenched my own and the intensity of her squeeze had me in pain. This lasted for a good fifteen minutes as we all sat with her and comforted her.

"It-It's done," she collapsed forward, "I think it's done."

"Derrick," I eyed him, sending him a silent message. He nodded as he picked her up and lay her down on the couch. She didn't even speak before turning on her side and falling asleep.

"What was that," Cam asked Derrick.

"I don't know," Derrick still looked upset, "I was talking to her while I was at work and then suddenly she dropped the phone and I could hear her crying."

"It's just cramps," I tried to calm them, "Some people have more severe PMS than others."

"Those were not _cramps;_ she wasn't even able to move," he shook his head, "I had to carry her in that position."

"It gets that bad," I told him, "Be happy you have balls."

"What if she wakes up with it again," Cam asked me.

"I suggest we get her some pain killers and wake her up to take some before it comes back," I said, "Derrick, Cam, you can go back to work if you want. I've got it from here."

Derrick shook his head fiercely, "I've been gone long enough for when she's needed me. I'm fine."

I nodded, "Honey, are you ok," I touched his hand. His eyes snapped from the sleeping Massie form to me. He squeezed my fingers.

"Is it that bad for you too," he asked. I shook my head in response, seeing the tension move from his body.

"Derrick," a hard voice called from the doorway. I spun to see Mrs. Harrington standing at the door, "I saw your car in the driveway. Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Massie's sick," he answered shortly.

"With what,"

"I'm not a doctor," Derrick snapped.

"She looks fine to me," Mrs. Harrington stepped fully inside and closed the door behind her.

"She's sleeping; of course she doesn't look sick."

Mrs. Harrington pursed her incredibly thin lips, making them impossibly smaller, "You can go back to work then, if she's sleeping."

"Mom, what are you doing here," Derrick cut to the point.

"Just visiting," she invited herself to sit down. I didn't want her sitting on our couches –I didn't know if bitchiness was contagious. "Cam, darling, how are you?"

Cam's cheeks turned red, "I'm fine, Mrs. Harrington, how are you?"

"Ok," she nodded then faced, a look of pure adoration on her face, "and you Claire? You're doing alright? You know I always hoped you and my Derry would be together. But Cam is just as deserving."

My face turned more red than Cam's, "I'm fine, Mrs. Harrington."

"I guess I also have you to thank for helping to take care of my Derry for me," she patted my hand. I resisted the urge pull it away. She liked me and I sure as hell didn't want to change that.

"Well, it was Massie as well," Cam added, "she spoils him rotten."

"It's not the first time she's spoilt something," Mrs. Harrington scowled.

"Enough of that," her son barked, "Mom, I think you should go back to the house, I'll be home for dinner."

She scrunched her nose in disapproval, "Very well –Cam and Claire can join us."

"Massie too, if she's feeling better," Cam attempted again.

"I think it'd be better if Massie stayed home."

I couldn't hold in the word vomit, "If Massie is not invited, then I'm sorry but I won't be attending."

The silence that greeted me almost made me wish that I'd not said anything.

"Oh," Mrs. Harrington's look turned from one of slight liking to one of cold hate, "I see. Cam?"

"If Claire's not, I'll have to excuse myself too," Cam grumbled, "though I do have to go to the office. I hope you'll excuse me. Derrick, I'm sorry man but we need you back at the office. I just got a text about the new deal."

Derrick nodded absentmindedly, his attention never wavering from Massie. Mrs. Harrington sat on the single chair, a blank expression on her face as she took in our every move.

"I'll um, walk you out," I shot up quickly, "Bye Mrs. Harrington, I'll see you later Derrick."

Cam and I scurried out of the tension filled house, our sighs audible as the door closed.

"That was so -"

Cam's lips cut off my words as he pressed me against the door. His actions were a bit rough, though the kiss was completely soft and sincere. I could barely understand him as he whispered against my lips.

"I'm so glad you didn't end up with Derrick instead of me and that your mother actually likes or liked me instead of being a heartless wench and I'm happy that you're here with me now with no more pasts confronting us and the fact that your cramps don't leave you crippled and dying on the floor because I would probably start crying with you," he said with one breath.

All I could do was giggle at his antics, a great relief to the previous strains of Massie's episode, "I love you too Cam."


	37. Chapter 36: You Don't Know Me

**Chapter 36: You Don't Know Me**

"_You think you know me well." _

_~Michael Buble _

**Derrick POV **

I shut off the TV program quickly as my mother entered the room. There wasn't any reason for her to see me watching, _"I didn't know I was pregnant." _She already questioned me enough about being homosexual; I didn't want to add to it. Besides, it was one of my indulgences that I preferred nobody know about. That 'baby popping out of nowhere' crap was interesting and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't…

"Where's your whiskey," her already rough voice asked.

"There's this thing called knocking that was invented around your years. You know, the Middle Ages?"

Her crude gesture answered me. Like mother like son, "I'll start knocking when you dump that white trash girlfriend you have."

I sighed, completely not in the mood, "Get out of my room."

"Fine," she huffed, an unfamiliar emotion crossing her face before vanishing quickly; "But you should know that Cam, Claire and the dog are coming over for dinner."

I jumped out of the bed and sprinted into the hallway after her, "What do you mean Cam, Claire and _Massie _are coming over? You invited them?"

She nodded as she descended the stairs. I slid on the banister to block her off at the next step. I wasn't surprised to see the coy smile she normally had on her face when scheming.

"What," I squinted my eyes, "What are you planning?"

"Nothing," she changed her expression to one not even Joe Cada could hope to master, "Excuse me."

"Mom," I tried more sincerely, "Please, don't do anything."

"Oh," her voice was immediately sharp, cutting into the careful layer of protection I always placed around my mother, "So now I'm mom? Not _mother? _ Or my favorite, Meredith! Yes, I am you mother and I will do whatever I please."

My arm went limp at my side as I let her go past me. There was nothing I could do to stop her. I didn't know what it was that she was doing, but I knew it not only had the potential to destroy me, but that it would successfully do so. After all, she's Meredith Harrington…and Harrington's don't play nice.

**Cam POV **

_ So, this is awkward…_I stared at anything but the faces around me. The pea on my plate was suddenly _very _interesting. I watched the green ball skate across the perfectly white plain. I knew that Mrs. Harrington had gotten these plates for the occasion. Derrick has never had plates these nice.

"The food's nice," Derrick commented. We all hummed in agreement, even though we knew it was restaurant food. Silence returned.

"So Claire, I heard you've been looking at a few new roles," Mrs. Harrington spoke.

"Just minor parts," Claire shrugged, "I have to start off small."

"Everybody does," Mrs. Harrington nodded and then turned to Massie, "What have you been specializing in?"

Massie's mouth hung open for a few seconds before stuttering, "I'm um, an editor for the fashion section for Cosmo. But I've been looking at a main editing position for _Bam! _Magazine."

"I see," she nodded, "I should have guessed you for that type of person."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand. What type of person?" I could hear the tension rising in Massie's voice.

"I don't suppose it gets awkward," Mrs. Harrington ignored her question, "With Derry having started his own business and you still in residency."

_Wait, it's my business too!_

Massie stopped eating completely, "First of all, I believe Derrick and Cam started the business and second of all, Derrick's position doesn't make me any less in mine. We all start somewhere."

"I second that," Claire interjected, trying to diffuse the situation, "I'm still starting as a matter of fact. Though I do think being the editor of your section is a far cry from just starting."

"But income wise, it'd be as if Derrick's pulling the weight," Mrs. Harrington added nonchalantly.

Massie dropped her eating utensils. For the first time since I'd re-met Massie, I saw the flare of her inner Alpha reappear. Just like the prepubescent 13 year old that was scared of her, I was back in my place, cowering at her glare. The only thing was that I hoped she wouldn't unleash whatever it is she had stored up on Mrs. Harrington. Somehow I knew that Mrs. Harrington was the original Massie and that we'd all suffer from the shrapnel of this fight.

Maybe God was being _especially _kind to me today, or maybe he was sweltering from the heat of the tension, but for whatever reason, Massie swallowed her words and remained silent.

"Mom," Derrick said tersely, "That's too personal for the dinner table."

Mrs. Harrington nodded as she stuck a piece of broccoli in her mouth. A small demon in me wished that she would choke.

"Your father called me today," Mrs. Harrington said to Derrick. It was my turn to drop the fork and knife.

"He did," Derrick's voice shook, "What did he want? I wasn't aware that you two kept in touch."

"We don't," Mrs. Harrington's normally stone voice slightly betrayed emotion; pain. "He had a proposition for you."

"Is this something we want to talk about at the table," Derrick asked at a lower volume.

"Why not," she smiled creepily, "We're all family and friends here."

Derrick's grip on his knife got a little tighter. I would have removed it from him to prevent bodily harm to his mother, but I had a feeling that I couldn't be any more trusted with the weapon.

"Anyways," she continued, "He was telling me he saw how well your business was doing, and he thought that both you and Cam had great potential to set up a deal with him. Some sort of merge with his string of hotels he owns."

I nearly choked on the meat I was chewing. _Harrington Hotels, _she was offering a partnership with Harrington Hotels?

"Back in New York," Derrick guessed. "I- I don't know mom. I mean this is pretty sudden and I'd want to talk about it with Massie and Cam. I'm sure Cam wants to talk to Claire."

"I stand behind you in anything you choose," Massie squeezed Derrick's hand from across the table.

I felt Claire's claim mine as well and I instantly lost my train of thought. I focused on her icy blue eyes, her words reminding me of the topic, "I wouldn't mind living in New York again."

A large smile broke out across my face; I was unable to contain it. That was until the witch spoke.

"Oh," she began with fake emotion, "I think there's been a misunderstanding. The position is only for _Derrick and Cam, _Mr. Harrington said no distractions."

_Distractions? _

"Distractions," Derrick's tone matched my thoughts, "What do you mean no distractions?"

"Claire and _Massie, _are not permitted to come along," Mrs. Harrington tried hard to hide her smile but I know the little devil was delighted, "so it's either deal, or no deal."

"Why the hell could they not," my voice was tight. There was no longer any need for pleasantries, we had passed that point, "Even with our partnership, Mr. Harrington doesn't have any power to authorize that. Work and personal lives are separate."

"Derrick, you of all people should know that your father _always _gets what he wants." Even _I _knew that. But I also knew my answer,

"No Claire, no deal," I didn't even consult Derrick. This was the one time that I definitely wouldn't follow him if he decided to leave. I wouldn't contact, I wouldn't think about it, I wouldn't look behind.

"I swear Derrick, if you let this go, if you let her hold you back again," Mrs. Harrington's voice became sharp.

"That's it," Massie's shrill squeak came out of nowhere, followed by the slam of her fork and knife, "I'm sick and tired of your tight, fifty six year old ass making comments about me. Do you know my middle name?"

Mrs. Harrington looked taken back, "No."

"Do you know my favorite color?"

"No," she replied a disgusted look on her face.

"My point exactly! You don't flipping know me," Massie knocked over her chair, all of her stored anger releasing in one gush, "Just because your marriage fell through doesn't mean that my relationship with Derrick will. I have something that you don't- _feelings. _And I'm through with you treating them as if they were nonexistent."

"Oh, so I'm sure you were feeling something when you placed pot in my child's school bag and got him arrested or how about when he was in his room crying from your flippant and selfish ways. How about when you cheated on him? Why am I the only one that sees through her?" Mrs. Harrington squawked.

"When the hell have you had the time to look at me? It's been 10 years, Mrs. Harrington, I'm sure even you can believe that I've matured," Massie argued, "Why do you hate me so much? Why do you hate me enough to take away love from your own son? We both know you'd have let Claire go along with Cam."

"He wouldn't talk to me for weeks," Mrs. Harrington stood and leaned in dangerously close to Massie. I was about to stand up to intervene but Claire kept a grip on my shirt. Somehow I thought she made the right choice to let them get this out. "Do you know how that makes a mother feel? I don't want you to take him away from me again."

I think everyone stopped breathing. The only thing we could look at was the tear that had dropped from Mrs. Harrington's eye onto the table. I wasn't sure which I preferred more. The unbearable awkward silence at the beginning of the dinner, the scorching heat of the fight, or now, the tension filled sadness that suffocated us. I wanted to still think Mrs. Harrington was the devil disguised as a blond but I couldn't. Not anymore. This…entirety of her hostility and hatred was because she wanted to hold onto the only family that remained.

If what had happened before made us hold our breaths, then what happened next made us go into cardiac arrest. The only movement in the room was Massie's small hand, wrapping around Mrs. Harrington's callous and slender fingers.

"I would _never _take him away from you," she whispered, "but you seem so intent on taking him away from me."

Mrs. Harrington ripped her fingers from Massie's grasp as she stalked away from the table, "fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice? I don't think I can live through that."

The silence that hung in the air was a cross between painful and pleasing. Derrick stormed out of the room, Claire following close after him seeing as Massie was still as a statue. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea what had happened and there was no way I could even comfort Massie when I couldn't pull my own thoughts together. So I did all that I knew to do. And all that I knew to do was return to the small green ball on the plate in front of me.

**Massie POV**

I'm so confused. One second I'm having cramps, then I'm being invited to dinner, then Derrick is moving, then he isn't and then his mother hates me for a good reason; am I sleeping? What's worse is that I was actually going after the woman I hated to comfort her.

I found her sitting on the hood of her car, taking a drag. Wouldn't a cigarette seem blissful? I resisted though…Derrick had told me how much he loathed the smoke smell on women.

"You know the whole point of me storming out was to _not _be in the same place as you," she eyed me from her peripheral.

"Well the whole point of me coming out here was to show you I don't really give a crap," I sat down next to her. "I love your son."

"I'm sure you do," she took another huff.

"Why can't you believe me," I turned to face her, "You don't even know me, and don't try and use my past mistakes as a reason. If Derrick can get over it, you can too. I haven't once tried to take him away from you."

"My son hates me because of you," she spat.

"You're son hates you because you act like a bitch," I corrected as I leaned back, "It's the same reason why he didn't like me. Don't you see it though? He loves me and I sometimes still can't it but he does. If you take me away from him…there's no way you'll get to him then."

"Are you threatening me," she raised a brow.

I sighed, "Just stop ok? Stop all the hostility. I'm not out to get you."

"Why am I supposed to trust you?"

"When he walks into a room, my heart stops and I feel like the only way I can regain air is if he touches me. He makes jokes that are not funny, and is highly insensitive to girls needs as well as emotionally awkward, but I still find a way to laugh, I still find a way to teach him and he always tries to open up. His smile is the most beautiful thing in to world to me, and sometimes, when he smiles in his sleep, I hope to God that he's smiling about me…"

Mrs. Harrington threw her cigarette after burning it out on her windshield wiper.

"I think I've overstayed my welcome here," she cleared her throat and hopped off the hood of the car.

"Where are you going," I asked as I followed her.

"Home." She answered flatly.

"Derrick's house home?"

"No, New York home," she turned to me, looking defeated, "Don't screw this up. I know what it feels like to live without someone you love."

"Was that an apology," I smiled cheekily, about to pull her in a hug, "You could just say it."

"Massie," she glared at me, "I swear if you mess up, if you take him away –I will take that cheeky ass smile of yours and rip it so fast of your face you won't even have time to say 'Eh meh Gawd.'"

Regardless, I took this as approval and patted her hand on the doorknob, "I'll make sure he calls you constantly."

"I don't like you," she ripped her hand back again, "Get that through your skull."

"I don't like you either," I giggled.

"Would you stop giggling like a buffoon –it's annoying," she snapped.

"Whatever you say Meredith," I pecked her on the cheek, deliriously happy, "but I get to be with your son"

Little did I know, that would be the last day my life was normal.


	38. Chapter 37: Scream

**Chapter 37: Scream **

"_What do I do now, without you?" _

_~HSM3_

**Massie POV**

It started off as a normal morning. I felt a little bloated but I noted it to the period that I should be soon getting. I waddled out of the bed and stomped down the stairs. Where was Derrick?

I reached the fridge and saw two sticky notes pressed to the cold surface. I ripped off the first one from Jamie,

_ I went hiking but I should be back around five or six, you know hanging with some friends…don't wait up to have lunch or dinner with me. You and Derrick can knock bumpers if you want, promise I won't barge in. Oh! Claire told me to tell you that she would be at her little reviewing shindig so she'll be gone too. I'm babbling aren't I? Longest note ever… have a great day though Schmexy… _

_-Jamie the Jamerson. _

I chuckled as I looked at the difference between hers and Derrick's scrawled note,

_**Went to of shore work day with Cam. Don't expect me home for dinner. Think you're by yourself today. Have fun. Love you**_

_**-the only person who would be writing this. **_

"Guess it's only you today Massie," I sighed and grabbed a tub of ice cream from the freezer. I knew it was 12 o'clock and that I hadn't eaten breakfast, but I could do what I wanted. I was alone. I dropped back onto the couch, wincing at the slight pain in my lower back.

_Stupid PMS… _

Surprisingly, I managed to fall back asleep after having my cold snack. It was the uncomfortable tightening in my lower stomach, and back that woke me up. I shifted onto my back, moving the pillow from underneath me, hoping that was the cause of the discomfort. The pain tightened in my abdomen, but was over within a minute. I took a deep breath to relieve myself.

Almost twenty minutes later, the pain returned causing me to pant. This happened for another four times over the next hour in the same fashion, except that the pricking pain had increased to a jab.

I picked up my cell phone, "Hey," I wheezed, "How's the party going?"

"Got cut short –hey, what's wrong," Claire realized immediately, "Are you ok?"

"Cramps," I muttered as another one hit me only fifteen minutes after my last one. I groaned into the phone. "I'm –fine."

"You don't sound ok…" she noted, "I'm coming home."

"No," I grunted as it passed, "it's really fine. Come home when you want."

"Are you sure? I was going to go out for a drink with my potential director," she hedged.

"Then go," I tried to lighten my tone which was impossible, "I'll…um, talk to you later k? Please don't call Derrick –he'll just worry, and he's already missed out on work."

"I'll talk to you later ok," Claire ignored me.

I tried to reposition myself on the couch slowly to avoid the pain.

Around fifteen minutes later I was curling into a cushion, uttering curses as my cell phone rang. I had to let it go to the voicemail until I was able to stretch my hand out to the table.

The phone vibrated in my hand as I pressed the green button, "Claire called you."

"Because you sound horrible…what's wrong," he asked. Cam's voice sounded in the background, repeating the same question. "Cam and I are about fifty minutes from the office."

"No- you don't need to come home," I said quickly as I took a deep breath, "I'll see you at home ok babe-" my stomach cramped again.

"Massie," he's voice was sharp, "I'm serious, if you need-"

"Oh look," I faked, "Jamie's home, I'm fine now. Bye."

I hung up the phone before he could object, knowing that if he could hear me he'd find some way to get out of work. As my muscles relaxed a bit I readjusted myself on the couch.

Thirty minutes later, a thin sheet of sweat covered my face as I tried to relax myself again. How long would this last? I don't remember ever having cramps so intensely. My lip drew blood as I bit into it too hard.

It was four thirty before I found myself lying on the carpeted floor, digging my nails into my palm. It was another thirty minutes before the pain could be described as a stabbing, shooting pain. Tears poured down my face as I wished Derrick –no, _anyone _was here. I felt something trickle down my leg before the pain intensified, coming every 10 or more minutes.

"Massie," the front door clicked open, "I'm home."

I couldn't answer her, except for letting out a low, guttural groan.

"What- sweet God in heaven," She knelt down quickly and pushed the table away from where we were, "Are you having the cramps again?"

I slightly inclined my head for a nod.

"This isn't –I'm taking you to the hospital," she shook her head as she tried to hook an arm around me hips, "Can you stand up?"

"No," I swallowed, "I can't move…it hurts so much."

I felt something warm trickle down my leg once more, "What was that?"

Jamie wiped at her knee before her nose scrunched a bit in disgust, "I…think your period came." Her fingers were tinged with my blood.

"I-I'm sorry," I apologized.

"As if," she wiped her fingers on her jeans, "Come on, we still need to get you to the hospital."

I almost let out a shout as my stomach contracted. "No, no, no, no, no moving!"

"Ok," Jamie said a bit frantic as she picked up the phone, "Derrick?"

I blanked out a bit as she spoke on the phone with him. It was somewhere between her talking to him and hanging up that Claire came in.

"What's going on," Claire threw down her purse before racing over, "Massie?"

"The interstate is backed up due to a crash that's causing an estimated three hour traffic so the paramedics are fighting to get to us and Derrick is about twenty minutes away with Cam. What are we going to do?" Jamie panicked.

I was hardly listening to Claire's response as I shut my eyes to block out the pain.

**Derrick POV**

"I will fricking strangle you if you don't shut up Derrick," Cam growled, "There are about thirty cars in front of us, I can't go any faster."

"Look there's a space, drive up," I commanded.

Cam turned the key and shut off the ignition, "There, are you happy?"

"Ok, ok," I pulled my fingers through my hair, "turn it back on."

"First," Cam crossed his arms, "Take your hands out of your hair, and stop shedding in my car. Derrick hair is _not _cool."

"Ok," I pulled my hand out of my locks.

"Second," he raised a brow, "Apologize."

"I'm sorry," I huffed, "Start the damn car."

"While we're at this," he continued, "don't tell me what to do."

"Flip Cam! Massie sounded really horrible on the phone. Don't be pissed just because I made you leave early."

He sighed, "I love her man, but you can't worry about her so much. We can't keep leaving the office like this. Big deals are coming in."

"I know, I know," I sighed, "I just, last time ok? She really sounded sick."

He nodded as he turned on the car and drove up. A few minutes later my phone rang.

"Derrick Harrington," I answered.

"Derrick, its Jamie," I heard her shaky voice on the other line. There were so many things wrong with the three words she had just said. For one, Jamie doesn't call me Derrick. She normally just calls me 'boy.' Second of all, Jamie normally bitches about me never checking caller ID to figure out who is calling me. Thirdly, Jamie hates talking on the phone casually and lastly, Jamie's voice just doesn't shake because in general she's a mannish beast.

"What happened?"

"It's Massie," she hurried, "She's on the floor and panting and I think it's the cramps again but this time there's blood and she's in so much pain-"

"Derrick!"

I snapped out of the reverie I wasn't aware I was in. Massie was hurt. Massie was on the ground somewhere, crying and hurting, and I wasn't with her.

"Take her to the hospital!" I nearly yelled into the phone.

"I can't lift her," Jamie sounded near tears, "She won't move because she's in too much pain and she's too heavy. Please come home now."

"I- we're stuck in traffic," I kicked the dashboard, "which means the paramedics would take even longer to get there. Dammit!"

"What's wrong," Cam asked.

"Call them anyways Jamie," I tugged at my hair, "Do whatever you can ok? What about trying a cold pack or aspirin or a heat pad? I don't know! Just please help her."

"Ok," she squeaked, "ok, I'm trying."

"I- I know you are. I'm sorry for shouting," I sighed, "We'll be there as soon as we can."

I snapped the phone shut before dropping it on the ground, and smacking my head against the dashboard.

"Derrick you had better give me a good reason as to why you're denting my car," Cam's joke couldn't even lighten the mood seeing as his voice was so tight, "What happened?"

"It's Massie again, it's the cramps or whatever and bleeding and I have no idea what's actually going on, but we need to get home."

"Ten more cars and a traffic light, then I can speed," Cam nodded, "Is Claire back there?"

"I didn't ask, but I heard the door open," I answered quickly; "there's a space, drive up."

"I know you're worried D, but still," he eyed me, "I can't go any faster."

About fifteen minutes later we were able to break through the stock up of cars. I had to press my hands to my face so I wouldn't shout at Cam to go faster. I knew that if we did we'd probably crash, or get stopped by the police, whichever came first. I was probably over reacting, and I was probably being a diaper assed baby, but when Massie was involved I would willingly go to the pharmacy just to get a tampon for her. Yes, that is how whipped I am.

So when we pulled up to the house, and I was almost sweating with anticipation, Cam had to pull my wimp self inside to assess the situation. I didn't care where anyone else was, all I saw was Massie.

Her face was contorted in pain, as she lay on her back on the ground. A rag pressed to her forehead as deep, shaky, breaths racked through her body.

Cam pushed me forward. I basically stumbled to her side.

I removed the cloth and pressed a kiss to her wet forehead, picking up her limp hand, "What can I do to make it better?"

"Derrick," she moaned. Her next words were cut abruptly by her loud groan. The hand I thought didn't hold any more strength, was crushing my fingers. In about a minute or two, she relaxed. She was calm for the next five minutes before her body tensed again.

She went on like this for the next ten minutes before her eyes were shut in deep concentration.

"What are you thinking," I asked quickly, "What are you feeling?"

"Like-like," she mumbled, "I feel like I need to push."

My throat immediately closed. She needed to push…as if she were giving birth? As in, a baby was going to come out of…down there? As in, a screaming, loud mouthed, snot nosed baby would be coming out of Massie? It all finally clicked; the gaining of weight, the mood swings, the late night crying and snacks, the cramps, the pushing…Massie's having a baby. And just like that, I lost all breath.

Massie almost snapped up in her position, like she'd realized as well.

"Oh God," her eyes were wider than saucers; "…I think I'm bleeding again."

"No," I finally realized that Jamie was right next to me, and so was Claire and Cam. We were all huddled around Massie like a support group. "This time it's clear."

"Massie," Claire's voice shook as she picked up Massie's other hand, "I think your water broke."

And I think that I just fainted.

**Massie POV**

I knew it. I think I knew it deep inside that I was holding another life. That it wasn't just me who was eating, or me who was mourning, or me that loved Derrick. It was the two of us. But now it was up to me to actually bring the other part of me, into this world.

"Derrick," I heard Cam's rough voice, "Wake up."

Of course, Derrick fainted. At least he couldn't feel the pain as I squeezed his hand.

"Well take off her pants!" Jamie crowed, "If she's pushing something out…the passage can't be blocked."

"I think I should leave," Cam cleared his throat.

"No, no, no, no, no," I rushed, "Wake up Derrick. I don't care if you see –just wake him up."

"But-"

"Cam she's having a child, it's not like you're going to have sex with her," Claire shouted, "Don't go _anywhere._"

I couldn't even see his expression as I felt my pants and underwear being tugged down. The pain over took me as I tried to hold in the urge to push. I had to wait, no matter how long it took. Derrick had to be awake.

I bit my lip as I held in a scream. I channeled the pain into my hands, squeezing the life out of the hands holding mine.

"Derrick," I ripped my hand out of his unconscious one and slapped him sharply. As his eyes began to flutter open, I could feel my vicious side begin to rear its ugly, pregnant assed, head, "If you don't wake up, I swear on your mother's grave that I won't have sex with you for so long that Crayola won't even be able to recreate the shade of blue your balls will turn!"

His eyes snapped open as he tried to make sense of the scene around him.

"I have to push," I yelled. "She's coming!"

"How do you know it's a girl," Jamie asked.

"He, she, it," I growled, "just get it out!"

"Wait, she can't push," Derrick seemed to snap out of his state, "what are we supposed to do when the baby comes out?"

"Hold on," Claire said from above me, she was typing rapidly on her laptop, "I'm Googling."

"Googling? Are you flipping kidding me?" I screamed, "Just let me pop it out!"

"Ok, ok," Claire rushed, "First it says to not panic. Stay calm,"

"I am calm," I nearly throttled her.

"Is everyone calm?" Claire ignored me.

"NEXT STEP," Jamie yelled, "I can see its head."

"Ok, um, blankets," Claire plucked one off the sofa and threw it at Jamie, "Are you supposed to catch the baby with that?"

_Oh hell, oh hell, oh hell, I'm never going to get this out. _

"Ok everyone, shut the hell up," Derrick suddenly stood up, "Claire read me all the steps –_quickly." _

"Um, place your hand on the baby's head gently, make sure the umbilical cord is nowhere near its neck when she pushes, don't pull on the baby's neck and the rest is after birth."

"Ok. Thank you, now put down the computer and Jamie grab one of her knees on her right side and her hand. Cam, do the same on her other side. Claire, grab the blanket and get down here with me. I'll guide the head and you prepare for landing."

_Landing? _Oh hell, whatever got this over with…

"Massie?" I didn't even realize that Derrick had been saying my name. The ripping, and tearing sensation was little in comparison to the actual stretching to compensate the head. My little, bundle of a head…

"Mhmm?" I bit my lip.

"You can push now honey."

For something that was meant to be relieving, it wasn't. Child birth was unexplainable. The pain of the contractions actually was welcoming compared to the pain of pushing my child out of my body. It was overwhelming with everyone around me. There words of encouragement, words of exclamation, and words of pure nonsense as I pushed. I couldn't even make a sound.

Finally, and yes, I mean _finally_, there was the moment where I felt the baby's presence gone. Before I could even panic, I was met with silence. This silence was so painful and beautiful, that I stopped breathing. I saw it's- well, his face. I saw my wonderful, precious little baby boy's face and knew that I wouldn't change anything. He was mine, and even though I know that he couldn't open his eyes, I knew that he knew I was there. His tuft of caramel hair, and slick, pink cheeks was all that I could keep my eyes on. My baby…my beautiful baby…I could feel my chest stricken with what I thought was probably a heart attack. But when that small, naked bundle let out a deafening wail, I knew why. I had been holding my breath until my baby let out his.

I was a mess of tears as I held out my arms eagerly for him.

"Give him to me," I hardly rasped.

The second his skin was on mine, I knew this was what I was meant to do. Besides loving Derrick, I had been born to give birth to him. I didn't think that after Derrick I could let another person into my heart so openly but here this little crier was, stepping in.

"I love you," I whispered, "I love you so much. Mommy loves you."

I looked to Derrick as I felt his lips against my sweaty forehead. His face was one of unadulterated bliss. I couldn't even snap at him as he placed a kiss on the baby's head. I knew then that he loved the baby too...

Wait.

…I slept with Derrick around the same time as the Dempsey incident.

Hair color? The baby had my hair color, and even that could change. Eye color? I couldn't tell now.

I stared down at the sleeping body that I loved no matter what. But would Derrick love him no matter what? Would Derrick love him, even if my baby wasn't his child?


	39. Chapter 38: Lost Without You

**Chapter 38: Lost Without You **

"_How does it feel to know that I love you?" _

_~Robin Thicke _

**Jamie POV **

I couldn't stop the tears that flowed down my cheeks as I watched Massie and baby Brandon being wheeled away on a stretcher. I wanted so badly to be a mother. and have a small head to stroke like that. _Ugh, I feel like a sap. _

I took a look at my hand which was slightly swelling. Damn, Massie had a grip on her. The large ass ring on her finger didn't help either. I winced as I prodded at my fat pinky finger.

"Here, let me see that," a familiar voice asked. I turned to see my favorite paramedic armed with an ice pack. "Told you I'd see you again,"

"Yah, but not even you knew Massie was pregnant," I couldn't help the large grin that spread across my face. "Massie didn't know –I don't know how that is even possible."

"Sometimes the fetus is so inactive and small, that it doesn't create that massive weight change." He answered, "Or, the womb is positioned in a way that the babies growth doesn't make much of a difference."

I scoffed, "Periods?"

"It's called break through bleeding…happens to many women."

"But nine months of not knowing he was inside of her? I just-"

"Actually, Brandon's a preemie, which makes it more reasonable. He isn't even his full size."

"How many months," I asked him.

"Massie thinks around seven," he answered, "But he'll be alright. It's a good thing you guys didn't try to cut the umbilical cord. That could have been disastrous."

I sighed, "This was slightly disastrous. We had to Google."

He laughed, his mouth quirking into a beautiful crooked smile.

"Could you tell me your name finally? I'm a little tired of referring to you as 'him' in my mind," I stuck out my hand, "I'm Jamie."

"DJ," he placed his warm hand in mine, "and before you laugh, it stands for Daniel Johnson."

"Hey, DJ," a paramedic called, "We have to roll out, man."

I smiled as I found the pendant on my neck, "I'm guessing you want this back?"

"Nah, keep it again. I'm sure I'll see you," he answered.

"Could you just ask me for my number? So I don't have to chance on seeing you again," I said frustrated.

"Of course," he laughed, "How else are we supposed to go on our date?"

I took out my phone as he took out his and we exchanged numbers.

"Oh and DJ," I called as he was about to leave. "Can I call you Daniel?"

He shrugged go ahead.

"One more thing," I stopped him, "_I do not hook up." _

Daniel smiled as he jogged over. Tenderly, he picked up my hand and placed a kiss on it, "You're much too beautiful for me to be with you only _one _night."

At first it was tears that I couldn't stop from coming down my face…but this time it was my smile that was uncontrollable.

**Derrick POV **

"Are you the biological father of the baby, because he looks nothing like you?" the young nurse asked me as I sat at Massie's bedside. It had taken some effort, but we'd managed to pry Brandon from her so she could rest.

"Thanks," I nodded to the blonde, "To be quite honest I don't know."

"Oh I see," she nodded, "It's one of those Anna Nicole situations."

I glared at her, "Don't they teach you not to pry in medical school?"

"I wrote you down on the birth certificate," she ignored me, "So I hope that's ok."

My eyes widened, "What the hell do you mean _if _that's ok? If you don't know if I'm the biological father obviously that's not ok? I don't care, but what if she cares? Did you even _go _to medical school?"

The blonde snorted, "If you're her husband you're automatically listed as the child's father, douche."

"We're not married."

"That's not what your marriage certificate says," she sang as she pulled it out of the file and waved it in my face. I snatched it from her.

"We got it annulled," I shook my head, "We're no longer married."

"Nope," she shook her head, "No annulment papers. We would have been notified. Trust me; I scoped out to see if you were single."

I scowled, "We're not married."

"Yes you are," she sighed, "But if you're really convinced you're not, then you'll have no qualms with coming back to my place with me-"

"Can I just see the birth certificate," I said.

"Whose birth certificate," she cheeked.

"You're so damn immature," I growled, "Hand it over."

"You're in denial," she crossed her arms. "Just say it and you can see his certificate."

Would I get arrested for assaulting a nurse or couldn't this be considered aggravated assault?

However, in my situation, I was desperate, "May I please see my son's certificate."

The nurse smiled smugly, "Sure."

She handed over the cream colored certificate and at least had the decency to give me some privacy. I held onto the thick paper and hesitated to look at the information. It was as if the moment I saw his little foot print, I would be bitch slapped with the reality of being a father. But whosever he was biologically, it didn't matter to me. He was Massie's, and I loved Massie and whatever came from her. There was also the chance that he was _mine. _

I flipped over the harmless sheet of paper that weighed in my hand like lead.

_Brandon Jay Alexander Harrington.. Born: September 15__th__ 2004_

_Mother: Massie Harrington _

_Father: Derrick Harrington _

_God Mother: Claire Lyon _

_God Father: Cam Fisher _

_Signature of Mother : _**Massie Block **

_Signature of Father: …. _

I stared at the paper until I was sure I saw spots forming on its surface. Was it wrong that I didn't know where my feet were taking me? They just kept extending; taking me to a place where I didn't even know. Perhaps my mind was comprehending direction signs? It must have been because I ended up right in front of the nursery.

I looked among the tags until I found him, capped in a blue, snug and swaddled in hospital blankets. He had a little glass chamber around him, seeing that he was a preemie. I had yet to hold his small body.

It was in the next few seconds, when his eyes opened, that I had made my decision. His small grey orbs connected with mine and for the small instant I swear he knew that I was his dad. That he knew everything about me and that he possibly…loved me? I hoped to God that he did. Because as I left the nursery, the only pictures in my head were of the small bundle, the nurses sour look as I handed her back the certificate, and the bold words that I had just printed.

_Signature of Father: _**Derrick Harrington **

**Claire POV **

A baby? A small bundle of life had been growing inside of Massie this whole time?

I looked down at three week old Brandon Jay sleeping in my arms, delighted that Massie had dedicated my father's name for Brandon's middle name. Looking down at the sleeping form, he was everything like Massie, except for his peculiar grey eye's that belonged to neither Massie nor Derrick. I wondered if this was maybe a recessive gene from Dempsey…

He yawned as he snuggled further into my arms. At least Massie got a chance to rest. She lay beside me, not able to be a room away from Brandon. His crib was even in the room with Derrick and her.

It was admirable how Derrick had taken on the duties of a father so instantly…even if he didn't know if Brandon was his as yet. I knew they had sent out test a while ago and were due the result, but I wondered if the result would be beneficial or harming. The truth could do weird stuff to a relationship.

Speaking of truths, I didn't like how Cam seemed to be sneaking around behind my back for the past week. He'd been as loving as ever, but he was gone at random times, or Derrick and him would leave to go shopping and I _know _he hates shopping. I'd think he was cheating if it wasn't that Derrick was with him. Oh, and the fact that Cam is a good guy and all.

I felt Brandon shift in my arms. He had the cutest dark brown curls any baby could have. Whoever's son he was, Massie had certainly made a beautiful child. When his barely over one inch fingers wrapped around my pinky, I gave a silent 'aw.' He was a preemie and therefore ridiculously small. I was holding him on a pillow –that's how small he was. Although it was also Derrick's stupid fear of me dropping him.

Ugh, now he's crying. That's not cute. I checked his diapers…nope. He must be hungry.

"Massie," I nudged her foot, "Brandon wants boob."

"My child is getting more action than I am," Derrick chuckled as he walked in with Cam whose hands were buried inside of his pocket. "Thanks for watching him Claire. Give him over to me before you wake Massie."

I passed the wailing Brandon to him, surprised that Massie was still sleeping. Immediately Brandon quieted as Derrick bobbed him up and down.

"That's it you big baby," Derrick chuckled at his own pun, "let mama sleep."

"Do you think he knows that Massie and Derrick are his parents?" Cam asked, "Can they really understand that at that age?"

"Well, he sucks on Massie's tits so he must know she's different," I offered, "What do you do for him Der?"

"Funny," Derrick glared at me, "What do you do for Cam?"

"Ok!" Cam cut in, "I have to get some extra work in if I don't want to be swamped after dinner."

"Yah, I'll stop by later ok? I'm going to go rock Brandon," Derrick mentioned before climbing the stairs.

"Can't we have any fun before," I suggested as I sidled up to Cam. He took a step back. _What? _

"For someone who was so shy, you sure love sex," Cam laughed, "Not now though Claire…I um, _really _have to work."

"What are you hiding from me," I whispered as I pecked his lips and trailed down his neck.

"Nothing," he put a hand on my shoulder to distance me. I swatted it away impatiently.

"Then kiss me," I pouted.

"Erm, not now," he smiled before side stepping me.

"So you are cheating on me," I dropped onto the couch, "great."

"What," he spun around so fast it's a wonder he didn't get whip lash; "What are you talking about?"

"You're avoiding me, not talking to me, you're turning down sex –that means you must be getting it somewhere else," I concluded, "you could just tell me…don't string me along."

He sighed, "Claire that's ridiculous. You know I could never do that to you."

I flopped back on the chair and flailed my limbs childishly, "Then what are you hiding?"

He seemed to be choosing his words carefully, "I love you ok? That's all that matters. Trust me."

My arms crossed to further display my dissatisfaction, "I trust you."

**Massie POV **

"Mass," Derricks lips whispered against mine, "Wake up."

I took advantage of the moment to take his bottom lip between my lips and finally get a moment of silence with Derrick.

"Where's Brandon," I mumbled.

"With Claire," he replied as he bit at my lips.

I stopped, "Where."

He continued what I had started and trailed down my neck, "in the family room."

I relaxed a bit before allowing him to continue. As soon as he got to my stomach I tensed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't want you near my stomach," I admitted, "It's…gross."

Derrick quirked a brow, "Shut up, I think every part of you is beautiful."

"I just had a child," I argued, "It's ok. You can say it."

He shook his head before placing a tender kiss on my forehead, "You're beautiful Massie. Always. Anyways, speaking of our child… the mail man dropped something off today."

I tensed for a completely different reason from before, "It's here isn't it?"

He nodded before swallowing and laying down the large manila folder on the bed. My heart rate sped up as I stared at the seemingly harmless piece of paper. This told us the truth. This could change so many things between us…in our family.

And that was the truth. Even in the short time of three weeks, Derrick and I had formed a family. We had a certain system that went without saying. It made me wonder if things would even change with this added information.

"I'm scared," I stuttered.

Derrick took my hand in his, "I am too. Do you want to open it?"

I shook my head. Seeing that I wasn't going to move, Derrick reached for the folder.

"Wait-" I interrupted him, "We don't have to find out. You're the father no matter what. I don't want this to change anything…"

"Mass, of course it won't change anything. It's just so that we have the satisfaction of knowing. Plus, for health reasons, it'd be beneficial."

"Well then the hospital would know- we wouldn't have to-"

"Massie, why do you really not want me to open it," he asked.

I picked and scavenged through my brain even though I knew the reason was sitting and taunting me right in the front. I just didn't want to face it. I felt like a bad mother even thinking this.

"What if," I began, "What if every time I look at Brandon, I'm reminded of Dempsey raping me?"

Derrick looked conflicted for words. He took a gulp before answering, "Don't think of him as a reminder of pain…think of him as…the miracle that came out of it."

It took me a moment to comprehend that it was Derrick who said that. I couldn't believe the transformation this birth had done for him. Sure he was still emotionally awkward in some sense, but he was more sensitive. He rubbed my feet when I cried for no reason; he fed Brandon a lot of the times in the morning runs, even when he had work; and he was always willing to put him to sleep.

I nodded as I placed a kiss on his palm, "You are his father."

Derrick's eyes shone with meaning as he nodded.

Have you ever had a moment where it seems like the second hand has moved backwards? Or that maybe it wasn't moving at all and you were stuck sitting in the endless wait that is purgatory? That's what it felt like as Derrick opened the folder.

I closed my eyes and waited until I heard the paper being taken out. I let Derrick read it. He could tell me the news…I was fine with that. It was when I heard the sharp intake of breath that I knew that he knew.

My back slammed against the mattress as Derrick's weight was on top of me. A hive of kisses swarmed my face as well as something I didn't expect…tears.

"Thank you for giving _us _such a beautiful baby," he was able to say through broken breaths.

"He's yours?" I cupped his face.

Derrick nodded uncontrollably before laughing through his tears, "He's mine."

**Jamie POV**

His warm lips enveloped mine and tugged at them. His tongue ghosted at my bottom lip, begging for entrance. And I let him, all because I realized from one date, that I was in love with Daniel Johnson.

"I want you so badly," I murmured for the umpteenth time. He edged between my legs, leaning me back on his sofa. Just the weight of him against me caused me to squeal.

His hands traveled slowly, almost appreciatively up my thighs before they settled on my behind. _Ugh, men. _

"You feel good," he chuckled against my lips before moving down to my earlobe. He took it between his teeth and bit down.

"Sweet potatoes and shredded cheese," I skimped on cursing. Daniel didn't appreciate my potty mouth. He did however, appreciate my legs wrapping around him. My fingers scraped across his six pack admiringly. Keegan did _not _have this. Daniel's muscles rippled under my nails, causing my own body to quiver. His hand reached further and further until it was by my thigh, nearing the destruction site.

"Wait," I shot up. "I-I can't do this."

Daniel shot up as well, "Too fast right?"

I nodded, "My last boyfriend-"

"I hate those three words," Daniel groaned, "and the words, 'we need to talk.'"

"Well, we need to talk...about my last boyfriend," I gave a sympathetic smiled, "He cheated on me. And I can't help but think that I helped facilitate that by letting him have…all of me whenever he wanted. And I understand if you're used to getting it all on the first date, but I am changed and even if you are experienced with your warm, strong, manly, sexy hands-"

"Jamie," Daniel chuckled, "I'm a virgin."

My eyes popped out of their sockets, "What?"

"Yah," he rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly, "I've never had sex before. So I definitely would not have it on the first date."

"You've never had sex before?"

"I hope that won't be a problem," he quirked a brow.

A smile broke out on my face, "So you don't just want me for sex."

"Jamie," he brushed back my hair, "how many times do I have to tell you that I think you're way above that. I'm willing to go as slow as we need to. I want to show you that I care."

"You care?"

He rolled his eyes, "Would I have really taken my hands off of your ass if I didn't care? Dang Jamie –you're driving me nuts."

I'm driving someone nuts?

I'm driving someone nuts!

I'm driving _Daniel _nuts…

"I really like you," I blurted, "a lot."

The sexiest lopsided grin donned his face as he placed a kiss on my cheek, "I like you too."

**Cam POV**

I tapped my foot impatiently. Everything had to be _perfect_. It just had to be.

"Sir, the missus is entering," the waiter whispered slyly. I cleared my throat as I passed a hand through my hair. _Gah, Cam, you need to stop hanging around Derrick and his hair groping. _

"Hey," Claire pecked my cheek as she sat down. Her soft blonde curls framed her face beautifully and her flushed cheeks were visible even in the candle light.

"Hey yourself," I stuttered. She eyed me…_relax Cam. _

"Sorry I'm late," she apologized, "Massie got to me and I couldn't turn her down. You heard about Brandon?"

"Of course I did," I chuckled, "Derrick wouldn't shut up when he got home. I'm so happy for him though. They've both been through so much."

"We've all been through a lot," Claire agreed, "It seems like just yesterday you were giving me gummy bears. Or that it was the first day and when we were stalking you guys at Briarwood."

"You stalked us?" I laughed.

"We did lots of things…." She giggled. I drank in the sound of it, finding it more appealing than the sound of the piano playing in the background.

Claire and I continued to speak over dinner. Conversation flowed easily between us. There was nothing we couldn't or didn't speak about with each other. Which is why I understand her tripping out about the surprise…we just didn't keep secrets from each other anymore. We were past all of that and didn't want to ever get back to that place.

As I watched her speak animatedly, I couldn't help but fawn over her. Whipped wasn't even the correct term I could use to describe my feelings for her. I was the Earth and Claire was my Sun, and I would continue to orbit shamelessly and wholeheartedly around her. That's why I was so sure about my decision.

"Cam," she suddenly said, "I have to tell you something."

My heart dropped a few centimeters; that's never a good opening, "Sure, honey, you can tell me anything."

"I-"

"Desert for the beautiful Madame," the waiter appeared suddenly, putting down a bowl that was covered.

"But I didn't order…" Claire began before she opened the top of the bowl. "Gummy bears!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm when truthfully, I was pissing myself. She was so close.

"Maybe this will help me say it," she murmured as she stuck one in her mouth.

She ate a few more before she finally looked up at me, "Cam. You know that movie deal I'd been auditioning for?"

"Yah," I nodded.

"I got the part," a breathtaking smile washed across her face. The unexplained worry in her eyes slightly marred it.

"That's great," I smiled genuinely, "I'm so proud of you!"

"I know," Claire continued as she popped another gummy bear in her mouth, "the only thing is that…it's shooting in Brazil."

My heart stopped. Claire is leaving.

"It's a nine month shoot," she explained as she dug her fingers further into the gummy bear bowl, "I'd be able to visit, I promise, but it's still a long time –what's this?"

She'd found it, finally. Claire's expression was a mix of surprise, confusion and utter shock as she pulled out the 14K white gold, ring.

"Cam?"

I'd always said I wouldn't be one of those guys who would kneel down on one knee and spurt fluffy crap at the girl he wanted to marry. But as I looked at the heart stopping woman in front of me, I found myself subjected to her gaze and groveling at her feet.

"It's ok," I told her as I removed the ring from her shaking hands and into mine. "It's ok if you leave…only if you promise me you'll marry me when you come back."

Her pink lips formed a small o.

"Claire," I began, "I was an idiot to let you get away the first time. A fool to let you slip through my fingers the second time…but I would be a dead man walking if I let you leave me, without the promise of you coming back and being my wife. I want to wake up every morning, staring into your face. I want to be the one that makes you blush even if I have make myself look like an ass to do it….I want to be the one who rocks next to you when you're old and need help eating gummy bears…I just want you.

Will you marry me?"

My world stopped as a tear dropped from her eye and onto my hand holding the ring. All I needed was to hear her answer. All I wanted was to hear that three lettered word that had seemed so mundane to me until this very moment.

Claire's mouth was sweet with gummy bears as she placed a kiss on mine. Her breath was fruity just like I remembered it being ten years ago when I'd fallen in love with her in the first place. Only this time, the breath that washed over me whispered,

"Yes."


	40. Chapter 39: Stranger

**Chapter 39: Stranger **

"_If they could only see you like I do." _

_~Hilary Duff_

**Stranger POV **

Another stupid day at my stupid job at the stupid pharmacy and I still have a second job to go to. _You're doing this for your family, _I reminded myself. Even though it had been a few months ago, her words still played in my head,

"_If you were, you wouldn't be scanning tampons in this low grade pharmacy probably trying to take care of some has been father at home. You need this job,"_

She was right. Except for the fact that it wasn't my 'has been' father…it was my widowed mother.

I kicked the dashboard in my car. _August 25__th__, August 25__th__, August 25__th__; _the damn date flashed in my mind as I turned up the music in my car. It was a year ago that everything had dropped like a flipping bottom to a bucket. After that, the rest just spilled out. Now I'm a seventeen year old drop out living in a trailer park trying to support my five member family. All because he was damn selfish and killed himself. _I hate him. _

I eyed the bottle of Jack sitting in the cup holder. _I'd given up that crap long ago… I can't do this to my family. _I threw the bottle out of the window. I'm stronger than this. Maybe if I could show her I quit she'd quit too.

"Someone left a letter for you," my little sister placed it in my hands as I walked through the door.

"Thanks," I took it as I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

I locked myself in the bathroom, the only sense of privacy I could get in this damn confinement. I pried the letter open, not even caring about the blood that dirtied it from the paper cut.

_Dear Cody, _

_ About ten years ago, I made a terrible mistake. It was with this mistake that I continued to be the bitch that I'd always been. I put people down, I was unappreciative, and I shared my wrath with others. _

_Then I was raped. _

I nearly dropped the letter. Had it not been addressed to me, I would have thought this dude was writing to the wrong person. Slightly confused as to why this information was being shared with me, I continued.

_ For some time I had the sick notion it was Karma paying me back for what I'd done to others. I changed myself for the better hoping that I could ensure I'd be safe from an attack again, as long as my Karma was set straight. _

_ A few months ago, my attacker returned. I again changed into a bitterer version of myself. Not as hostile, but not the real me. That's where you come in. _

_ I never meant to say such hurtful things to you when I met you. It was a bad day, a __really __bad day. That doesn't justify anything though. I tried consoling myself with the same Karma crap, telling myself that I was probably paying you back for some bad deed you did. But nothing you've done warranted what was said to you. I'm sorry. _

_You're probably wondering why I'm sharing all this with you. To be truthful, it's because I know more about you than you'd probably like me to. _

_ I had asked around to find out more about you and was shocked at what I found. And although I can never know what it was like for you this past year, I'm certainly able to empathize in the way that I know what it's like to go through such pain. You've been so strong supporting your family, and I really admire you for it. That's why I want to help. _

_ Of course I'll probably see you the next time I go the pharmacy, but I want you to know that you can talk to me whenever you need to. And I know this won't solve everything, but I hope it can help. God bless you and your family, and I'll keep you in my prayers, _

_Sincerely, _

_Massie Block _

Besides the contact information I couldn't find anything else in the letter. I was starting to wonder if this was sick joke, right before my fingers felt a thin paper stuck to the side of the envelope.

And for the first time in months I found myself crying. It was a check, I realized as I read the amount with blurry eyes.

It was a check for fifty thousand dollars.


	41. Epilogue: We All Roll Along

**Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing this story! Just so you know, I MIGHT be conjuring up a sequal to this! Let me know if you're interested. Thank you once again, and for the last time, these characters do not belong to me, they belong to Lisi Harrison. **

**Sincerely, Christie Hart. **

**Chapter 40: We All Roll Along**

"_I remember…So…Just don't forget this." _

_~The Maine_

**Massie POV**

The Maine's We All Roll Along__blasted through my headphone speakers as I reached the café. I pulled out the headphones and leaned over my sleeping figure.

"Grey," I tapped him, "We're here sweetie, wake up."

"Mommy," he groaned before opening his eyes. The grey of his irises never failed to shock me, which was how we acquired his nickname. He seemed to take a liking to it as well, "I'm tired."

"I told you not to stay up late with your father," I shook my head, "but no one ever listens to mom."

"Mom, stop nagging me," he sat up.

My mouth formed an o as I pinched him, _Derrick. _

As we walked into the café I pulled out my phone and dialed his number.

"Hey honey," Derrick answered.

"Did you tell Grey that I nag you," I shrieked, "you're trying to put filthy words into our _two year old _son's mouth before he can even count to twenty. And so help me Harrington, if our child ends up like you when he grows up-"

"Relax Mass," he interjected, "I was just having some fun with him. And hey, what do you mean 'end up like me. I was quite the bad ass."

"It's _nawt _funny," I growled.

"I love you," he chuckled, "If it makes you feel better, I'll talk to him tonight. I have to get back to work though. I'll call you when I'm heading home ok?"

"Ugh, you dog," I sighed as the first one of my girls walked in, "I love you too."

I smiled as she walked in. It'd only been two weeks since I'd last seen her, but that was way too long to be separated from someone so close to me. As Grey ran up to hug her, I admired her Gucci boots. I couldn't believe that the same girl we'd been trashing for her poor choice in shoes was actually receiving praise. She still had the same innocent blonde halo, cute blush and pouting lips, but age had fined her cheekbones and nose.

"Hi!" Claire enveloped me in a massive, bone crushing hug. "Oh my gosh! You dropped the pounds."

"I know, all the baby weight is gone," I smiled as she looked at my new form. "You see what you did to mama," I pinched Grey's cheek.

Grey just smiled and bit my finger lovingly. I don't know where he got this biting from. I bet Derrick had something to do with it.

Claire and I sat down a few moments and chatted about everything that had happened in the last two weeks. It was a wonder no reporters had ambushed us as yet. Claire always seemed to be trailed by the paparazzi nowadays.

"So," she smiled, "I have important news to tell you, but we have to wait until the others get here."

"No," I squealed, "Tell me now."

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Grey interrupted. "Burgers?"

"Not now," I hushed him, "Claire…"

"Look," she pointed to the car pulling up, "They're here."

I turned to see the first of the other girls stick their long tanned leg out of the car. I knew exactly who it was. The last two years had done nothing to her, except for more highlights and a bigger chest. I couldn't help but love her though as she cussed out the taxi driver.

The next was a caramel leg that came out the car. Attached was the newest but certainly, equally loved friend of mine. She had cropped her hair to a shorter bob now, and was of course heavier.

Next was a toned calve belonging to my forever sporty sister. I could see the tennis shoe tan that she sported and chuckled silently to myself…_of course. _

Last, but certainly not least, was the friend I hadn't see in a very long time. Her leg was thin, but in a way that was thankfully healthy. Her signature and still famous red curls bobbed as she carefully exited the car, talking into her cell phone.

We exchanged hugs and kisses and tears, exclaiming our 'I missed you' and 'look how great you look.' As we sat down at our table of seven (Grey included) I couldn't help but smile at the faces around me. Could this count as déjà vu?

"We're all here," Claire smiled her literally one million dollar smile.

"Do you know how long that traveling was from Illinois?" Alicia flipped back her hair, "I swear if it wasn't you guys I wouldn't have come."

"Hey, you didn't come from DC," Jamie scowled.

"I'm with Jamie," Dylan commented, "I came from New York with Kristen."

"It's all your faults for leaving Cali," I shrugged. "Where are the children?"

"Babysitter," Jamie answered.

"Chris," Kristen replied.

"Kemp," Dylan snorted, "Sucker."

"As if," Alicia cackled, "I'm _not _messing with this body. And I can't stand children. Still."

_Same old Alicia. _

"But I see you managed to bring yours," Jamie kissed Grey's cheek.

"Aunty Jamie!" he cheered.

"The one and only," she snickered.

After all the greetings were made we launched into a long waited conversation. Although we had all kept in contact over the past three years and visited each other separately, there still were things we just needed to talk about in person.

"Has anyone told them that we flooded the school yet," Dylan laughed, "Make sure you have a camera to capture that moment."

"Point," Alicia tallied with her finger, "Complete Kodak moment."

"I can't believe you guys didn't get caught," Jamie shook her head, "I would have felt so guilty…"

"Oh, they've received a lot of anonymous donations over the years," Kristen chuckled, "They'll be fine."

"That was so stupid of us," Claire giggled, "I hope you guys don't get into that much mischief now."

"Only with Daniel," Jamie winked. We all laughed knowingly.

"So how's the no longer virgin," Dylan snickered, "must be all over you. Even after Hayden's birth…"

"I'm not complaining," Jamie shrugged.

"Ok, guys," Claire interrupted, "I actually have some news."

"Cam's gay?" Alicia smiled wickedly.

"Cam will be gay the day your boobs are real, Alicia," I defended.

Her mouth popped open before she closed it, "True."

"Anyways," Claire continued excitedly, "I'm pregnant."

It was my turn to gape, "Really?"

"Finally," Jamie gave her a hug, "It was your turn."

"I know," Claire bounced, "I'm seven weeks."

"And you waited this long to tell me," I shouted. A woman next to me gave me the eye. I gave her the finger.

Well, discreetly of course. I can't be a bad example for Grey can I?

"Nice," Jamie chuckled as she sipped her drink, "So you're due this next February?"

Claire nodded so enthusiastically it was a wonder her head didn't bobble off. For the next several minutes we fawned over Claire, talking about the horrors and comedies of pregnancies. I watched as she laughed, gasped and blushed…I was instantly brought back to the Claire I'd met, 10 years ago.

_ Claire was dressed in a pair of overalls, white Keds, and had straight blonde hair with bangs…she looked like one of the cast members on __Barney and Friends. _

But now, look at her. Look at all of us…this wasn't how I thought it'd turn out. 13 years ago when I had been pulled off school campus kicking and screaming at them, this isn't how I thought we'd turn out.

I didn't think that Kristen would be a bank accountant, or that Claire would be a three award winning actress. I didn't think that Dylan would by a dietician and couldn't even fathom Alicia as a teacher. And I _certainly _didn't expect that we'd have the loud personality that is Jamie, in our group.

But was that a bad thing? Not at all. I think the changes we underwent transformed us for the better. Claire stopped blushing every time sex was mentioned and learned how to defend herself. Dylan learned to appreciate her body and that thin didn't necessarily mean beautiful. Alicia actually learned. Kristen got her dream guy and finally, so did Jamie.

Me? I was more than grateful for all of these beautiful souls surrounding me which was something I took for granted before. I wasn't so quick to launch insults I knew could scar someone. I no longer ran away from Derrick, and learned to love everything about him and finally _be _with him. And Grey, my sweet and precious baby boy; these changes had brought me him.

So with that, I pulled out my purse from under the table and presented a box for each of the girls in front of me.

"What's this," Jamie asked.

Claire smiled at me knowingly, "Massie…"

I opened my own box and inspected the ring inside. Made out of pure gold, the ring held my initials in it. One lone, small diamond sat in the middle and on the other side of the ring, a name was written.

"Who's George Wasserstein ," Alicia asked.

I smiled as I relayed the quote, Claire's voice entwining with mine, "_My sisters have taught me how to live." _

"You were so right," Jamie sniffled to Claire, "It's so much more than a stupid Clique. We're our own personal sorority."

"A sexy sorority," Alicia giggled through her tears.

"A badass sorority," Dylan added.

"A _healthy _sorority," Kristen squeezed Dylan's hand.

"A loving sorority," Claire gazed at me.

"Sisters," I smiled.

Later that night I pulled something out from under my bed that I hadn't looked at in a while. I gazed at Grey before sitting on my bed next to Derrick.

"You coming to sleep, honey," Derrick pressed a kiss on my bare shoulder.

"Yah," I whispered as I pressed a kiss on his forehead.

Once he rolled over, I pulled a pen from out of the drawer next to me and skipped through the pages of the pink, bejeweled journal. I chuckled as I began writing

**Current State of the Union **

**In: **Red Lipstick **Out: **Pink Lip gloss

**In: **California **Out: **New York

**In: **Kindness (sort of) **Out: **Bitchiness

**In: **Massie Harrington **Out: **Massie Block

**In: **Grey **Out: **All other men

I smiled as I wrote the last words before storing the journal away and snuggling up next to Derrick. Underneath my bed, lay the most current state of union that I knew would last forever,

_Out…_

_The Clique Pretty Committee_

_In… _

_The Sorority_


End file.
